Urdu Poetry Forum

**Pehli``Barish** · #1 08-21-2007, 07:26 PM

Is matraba hisa layny valy tamam members ka bahat shukriya.
sab ne bahat umdah tehreerain share ki hain.

tehreer ko darj zail mayar ki nisbat say marks diye jain gay

Khayal ki Infaradiyat...4
Nasar or Beyaniah....3
Kahani/Mazmoon....3
Total No...10

bahtreen tehreer ka ailaan August 28th ko kia jayega

shukriya
Pehli``Barish

**Pehli``Barish** · #2 08-21-2007, 07:47 PM

Tehreer # 1

Irfan

**Pehli``Barish** · #3 08-21-2007, 07:50 PM

tehreer # 2

TheMask

1-2

**Pehli``Barish** · #4 08-21-2007, 07:52 PM

Tehreer # 3

handsome

**Pehli``Barish** · #5 08-21-2007, 07:57 PM

Tehreer # 4

JIMMI

JANAM DIN MUBARAK HO

AAJ 14 AUGUST HEY aur aaj ke din pakistan ka janam din hey
jo keh har saal bari dhoom dham se hum manate hein.meri tarf se har pakistani ko pakistan ka janam din mubarak ho.
ALLAH KAREEM ISKO TABENDA AUR PAEINDA BANAY.AMEEN

jab bhi yeh din aata hey bahut se pakistaniun ki treh mere zehn mein bhi bahut se sawal uth tey hein jin ka jawab hum ko koi nahein deta.janam din ke sath hum yume aazadi bhi manatey hein .aaj poorey pakistan mein har tarf AZADI MUBARAK ka
har ke lubon per hey .sawal yeh paida hota hey kiya hum
dar haqeeqat aazad hein ya phir apne aap ko dhokha dene
mein mashghool hein.koi bhi pakistani aik doosrey se ankh
mila kar nahein keh sake ga keh hum aazad hein. aur kin
mehnon mein hum aazad hein.
jiss maqsad ke liye Pakistan bana tha kiya woh maqasad humari
manzil thi yah (PAKISTAN KA MUTLAB KIYA) BHI AIK DHOKA THA.Apne greban mein hum agar jhank kar dekhein tu hosakta
sab ko tu nahein magar akshariat ko saaf nazar aaega keh hum woh nahraa lagane ya apnane mein mukhlash nahein they.

Hum ne aik din bhi aazadi nahein dekhi sawaey kuch din ya
maheene shuroo shuroo mein .uske baad hum ne nah aazadi dekhi aur nah hi azadi ka mafhoom ko mahloom hey. jiss cheez ko hum ne dekha ya barta hi nahein uske bare mein kiya keh sakte hein hum (AAZADI MUBARAK) issi liye hum bahut hi ziyada
dhoom dham se manatey hein jiss cheez ka koi wajood hi nahein.
PAKISTAN kiya iss liye wajood mein aaya tha keh banda-e-mazdoor ke auqaat roz barooz talkh hote jaein .kiya aap mujh ko bata saktey hein jiss mulk ki awsat amdni (rs3000)ho chalo aap
RS5000 monthly laga lein .aur wahn sirf daal ka bhao RS80/-ho
mein ehdado shumar mein nahein jaonga phir bhi hum sab jante hein pakistan mein aik kamane wala hota hey aur 10 janon ki
zimadari us per hoti hey .tu kiya hum ne banda mazdoor ke liye
sirf 2 raste nahein chor diye- aik khudkashi doosra chori.yeh donon raste sirate emustaqeem ki tarf nahein balkeh seedha jahanam ki tarf jate hein . tu kiya app sab tasleem karte hein keh hum khud bhi aur humare pakistani bhai kiss tarf ja rahey hein .kiya Pakistan ka yahi matlub hey .
HUMAARE AAQA HAJAZRAT MUHAMMAD (SAW) ka farman hey.
keh jiss ka humsaaya bhooka soya aur khud us ne shakam bhar
khaya woh hum mein se nahein .tu aaj PAKISTAN ke sadar saheb
siasatdan humare ulmaa hazrat kokoi khiyal nahein aata aur
unko neend kesse aajati hey.jab keh nan o nafqa ke liye aik aik
banda ko pata nahein kiya kiya nahein karna padta.
hum ne yeh mulk PAKISTAN liya ya Allah kareem ne hum ko tufah diya keh yahan hum uska nizam nafiz kar ke is mulk ko duniya ke liye aik namoona banaein.tu kiya hum dithai se PAKISTAN KA MATLUB KIYA ka mujaq nahein ura rahey .yeh kessa ISLAMI mulk hey jiss mein apne muhallah ki masjid mein bhi jate hoe log darein . woh kesse ibadat hogi jo police ke pehry
mein ada ki jaey .iss islami mulk mein humare ULAMAA KARAM
QEEMTI SE QEEMTI SAWARI AUR 4 -4 BODY GUARDS ke sath
bare fakhriya andaz se masjid mein aatey jaatey hein .kiya hum isko islami mulk keh saktey hein jiss ke qanoon doosrey gher muskim mulkon jesse hoon.kiya farq hey hum mein aur non muslim countries mein.koi tu batlaey hum ko. koi hey farq. haan hey woh mlk aazad hein wahn ke basne wale khud hi apne hakem hein woh jageerdaron ki jaggeer ,biradriun ke almbardar
nahein hein un ki tahleem ki awsat hum se kahein ziyada hey.
jahn qanoon ameer ghareeb ke liye aik jessa hey.
jahn har sakeem har amal wahn ke logon aur next generation ki
behtri ke liye hota hey.
Islami mulk mein rehne wale tu momin hotey hein . aur hamare
piyare Khaleefa charam Hazrat ALI rz ka faraman hey keh moman aik hi bil se do bar nahein dasa ja sakta .kiya hum baar baar aik hi bil se nahein dase jaa rahey. aik se jaan se churate hein armi ko nijat dhenda samjhete hein phir ussi se jis se jan churai phir sar ankhon per nahein bithatey.
kiya niwaz be nazeer iltaf pigara chodhri watoo noon ke siwa hum kissi aur azma nahein saktey ,mafgar nahein hum moman nahein hein humari ghutti mein munafqat hey jo hum ko
baar baar aik hi bil se daswati hey .
khud soch lein kiya hum momen hein haan khud se jawab talab kar ke dekhein.
nahein hum sunni wahabi devbandi barelvi shia tu hein magar
hum muslman bhi hein ya nmahein moman tu door ki baat hey.
yeh sab kuch dekh kar mein ro tu sakta hoon PAKISTAN ke janam din khushi nahein mana sakta.woh isliye jiss maqsad ke liye yeh mulk hum ko ALLAH PAK ne diya tha hum ne aik din ke liye bhi
koshish nahein ki jiss maqsad ke liye yeh nehmat di gai thi.

Haan mein us din mein zaroor mubarak badi aap ko aur apne app ko bhi doonga.jiss din
hamare mulk mein koi jageerdar nahein hoga,
jab koi bacha khilona ki zid karte hoe nah roe ga jab
Pakisan ke har ghar mein choolah jale ga. jab hum log masjidon ibadat gahoon mein bagher kissi pehre ya bandooq ke saaey ke
ibadat kar sakein gey
jiss din aik aam mehmooli ghar ke fard ko hum uski salaheton ki bina per haq hukmrani dene per raza mand hoongey.
jab rishwat dena aur lena aik qabil tazeer jurm samjha jaega.
jiss din koi bhi hukmranon se unke ehmaal ki jawab talbi kar sake ga. jab insaaf ghareeb ameer musaavi hoga.
jis din mulk ke sadar ya hukmran ka beta aur aik aam admi ka beta aik hi nisab tahleem se istefada utnaeingey .tabqati taqseem
tahleem ke adaron mein nah hogi sab ko aik jessi hi tahleem mile gi.
jab Quran pake sirf vird ko hi kafi nah samjha jaega balkeh uske
mehne aur tafseer se bhi aghai hasal ki jaegi.

jab hum ne yeh nahra lagaya tha (PAKISTAN KA MATLUB KIYA)
TU US KA JAWAB YAHI THA .jo ooper mein ne likh diya kam az kam mere liye tu yahi hey .
yeh aik Islami mulk hey (khene ko hum keh saktey hein) aur uske
yahi taqazey hein warna aik non muslim mulk humare mulk se kahein behtar hey. kiun keh wahn ke qanoon wahn ki aazadi
hum se ziyada behtar sorat liye hoe hey.
mein maazrat chahta hoon keh app logon ki dilshikni hoi hogi
mein khud bhi aik jazbati Pakistani hoon .magar kiya mein jhoot bol rah hoon .kiya yeh haqeeqat nahein keh hum yum e aazadi manatey hoe munafqat se kaam lete hein.ya phir sudo ziyan ka ehsaas hi jata rah hey.
ALLA TAALLAH se duago hoon keh keh mere piyare pakistan ko
essa mulk bana de jessa keh wahda kiya giya tha.iss ko har balla
museebat se bachaey aur usko esse qiyadat de jo munafiq nah ho. AMEEN THUMMA AAMEEN.
PAKISTAN ZINDA BAAD

**Pehli``Barish** · #6 08-21-2007, 08:09 PM

Tehreer # 5

dua-e-sehar

BANDI WAAN

AAJ PAKISTAN KO AZAD HUWE 60 SAAL HO CHUKE HAIN HUM BARE FKAHR SE KEHTE HAIN K HUM AZAD HAIN HER SAAL BAHRPOOR ANADZ MAIN MANATE HAIN JASHAN_E_AZADI LAIKIN HUMARE KITNE HI LOAG IS BAAT SE NA BAID HAIN K WHO AZAD HAIN AUR PAKISTAN KO AZAD HUWE KITNE SAAL HO CHUKE HAIN KYUN K WHO AZAD NAHI HAIN WHO AAJ BHI GULAM HAIN AAPNE HI MULAK MAIN AAPNE HI HUM MAZHAB LOAGOON KI GULAMI PER MAJBOOR HAIN AUR YEH GULAMI AAJ YA KUL KI NAHI HAI PEHLE UN K BAAP DADA NE UN KI GULAMI SAHI AAJ WHO SEH RAHE HAIN KUL UN K BACHOON KO SEHNI HAI AUR YEH SISILA KHUTAM TU KYA HO GA HAAN IS BAAT KI PURI UMEED HAI K MAZBOOT ZAROOR HO JAYE GA UN KI ANKHOON MAIN AIK SAWAL HAI K KABHI HUM BHI AZAD HOON GE ?KOI DIN AAISA BHI AYE GA JISS DIN KISI KI JI HAZOORI NAHI KARNI PARE GI JIS DIN UN KI BETIAYN WANI NAHI HOON GI ZALIM_O_JABIR HUKAMRANOON KI HAWAS KA NISHAANA NAHI BANAIN GI? KOI AAISA DIN BHI TU HO GA JISS DIN UN K BACHE BHOOK SE TARAP KAR NAHI MARAIN GE ?MAYAIN KHUD AAPNE HATHOON SE AAPNE BACHOON KA GALA NAHI GHONATIN GI'KOI BAAP AAPNI BETI KO NAHI MARE GA US KA KHUN AAPNI GARDAN PAR NAHI LE GA?
YEH SARE SAWAL AIK AZAD PAKISTAN K AIK DEHAT MAIN REHNE WALE KI ANKHOON MAIN AAP KO NAZAR AYE GA AGER AP PARO GE TU KABHI GOAR KARO TU MALOOM HO GA K UN KI ANKHOON MAIN AIK MEHROOMI HAI AIK KHAWISH HAI AIK SAPNA HAI AZAD HONE KA IZAT KI ZINDAGI JEENE KA AUE WHO DEHAAT SINDH AUR BALOCHISTAN HAIN JAHAN HUMARE BAHI AUR HUMARI BEHNIAN ZINDAGI K SITAM SEHNE PAR MAJBOOR HAIN .
WHO BHI HUMARI HI BEHNIAN HAIN JO ROAZ NA JNAE KITNE LOAGOON KI HAWAS KA NISHAANA BANTI HAIN?WHO BHU HUMARI HI MAYAIN(MOTHERS)
HAIN JO AAPNE BACHOON KO BHOOK SE BILKTA TARPTA DEKHNE PER MAJBOOR HAIN WHO BHI HUMARE HI BACHE HAIN JO TARAP KAR MAR JATE HAIN.
LAIKIN HUM SUB KUCH DEKH KAR BHI KUCH NA KAR SAKNE PER MAJBOOR HAIN AAPNI ANKHIAN BAND KAR LETE HAIN HUMARE HATH BANDE HAIN TU HUN KOAN SI AZADI MANATE HAIN? KISS AZAD MULAK KI BAAT KARTE HAIN HUMARE PASS IS SAWAL KA JAWAB HAI K WHO KUB AZAD HOON GE?KAB UN KI IZZATAIN MEHFOOZ HOON GI?HUM BHI TU UNHI MAIN SE HO SAKTE TE HUMARA BHI WOHI HAAL HO SAKTA TA JO UN KA HAI AUR AGER PAKISTAN KA YEHI HAAL RAHA TU WHO DIN DOOR NAHI JUB IS DIN KO BHOOL JAYAIN K HUM BHI KABHI AZAD TE JUB AAPNE HI HUM MAZAB AAPNE HI MULAK K LOAG HUKAMRANI SHORO KAR DAIN TU KOAN AZAD KARWAYE GA HUM KO?
PHIR KOAN SA QAID AYE GA?PHIR KOAN SA IQBAL SUCHE GA HUMARE LYE?
YEH PAKISTAN QAID KA PAKISTAN NAHI TA YEH SUCH IQBAL KI NAHI TI. UNHOON NE AIK AZAD MULAK HUMAIN DYA TA JAHAN SUB AZAD TE LAIKIN AAJ PAKISTAN KIS MAOR PAR JO HUMAIN SUCHNE PER MAJBOOR KARTI HAI K KYA HUM WAQYI AZAD HAIN?KYA AZADI ISE KEHTE HAIN?

**Pehli``Barish** · #7 08-21-2007, 08:30 PM

Tehreer # 6

Pehli``Barish

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**Haya n** · #8 08-21-2007, 10:57 PM

Mujhay Is Baat Ki Bouhat Khushi Hay Kay '' Urdu Writer Club '' Kay Contests Mai'n Bouhat Miyaari Tehreerai'n Parhnay Ko Milti Hai'n Jo Bouhat Khush Aayand Baat Hay...

'' Aazadi '' Kay Unwaan Kay Hawalay Say Jo Tehreerai'n Paish Ki Gai Hai'n Woh Bila Shubah Bouhat Umdagi Say Likhi Gai Hai'n...Her Saathi Nay Pakistan Ki Mohabbat Say Sarshaar Ho Kar Tehreer Raqam Ki Hay, Jab Hi Her Tehreer Mai'n Chupa Dukh Qaari Ko Bouhat Kuch Sochnay Par Majboor Kar Raha Hay...

Her Tehreer Parh Kar Dil Aesi Kefiyat Ka Shikaar Hay Kay Mai'n Sirf Marks Hi Likh Rahi Hoo'n...Is Say Ziyada Khud Ko Likhnay Say Qaasir Mehsoos Kar Rahi Hoo'n Jis Ki Bouhat Maazrat Chahti Hoo'n...

Tehreer # 1...Irfan Sahib
Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/4
Nasr Owr Bayania: 3/3
Kahani / Mazmoon: 3/2.5

Total: 10 / 9.5

Tehreer # 2...TheMask Sahib
Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/3.5
Nasr Owr Bayania: 3/3
Kahani / Mazmoon: 3/2.5

Total: 10 / 9

Tehreer # 3...Handsome Sahib
Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/3
Nasr Owr Bayania: 3/2.5
Kahani / Mazmoon: 3/2

Total: 10 / 7.5

Tehreer # 4... JIMMI Sahib
Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/3
Nasr Owr Bayania: 3/2
Kahani / Mazmoon: 3/2.5

Total: 10 / 7.5

Tehreer # 5... Dua-e-Sehar Sahiba
Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/3
Nasr Owr Bayania: 3/2
Kahani / Mazmoon: 3/2

Total: 10 / 7

Tehreer # 6... Pehli Barish Sahiba
Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/4
Nasr Owr Bayania: 3/2.5
Kahani / Mazmoon: 3/2.5

Total: 10 / 9

Aap Sab Kay Liye Naik Khuahishaat Kay Saath Ijazat Chahti Hoo'n...Sada Khush Rahiye...

Regards
Allah Hafiz

**saahir** · #9 08-23-2007, 10:02 AM

YE munsifi bayhad mushkil kaam hay,,tamam tahreerain bila mubalgh boht hi achi theen...meray mutabiq kuch yoon tarteeb hay

TAHREER #1
irfan nay boht acha likha,,nasar or bayaniya bhi bayhad pukhta tha,,mazmon nigari kay tamam pahlo kaamil thay..albatta khiyal ki infradiyet main kuch kami rahi

Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/2

Nasr Owr Bayania : 3/3

Kahani / Mazmoon :3/3
__________
10/8

TAHREER #2
khuram sahb nay bhi boht hi bahtreen likha,,,nasar or bayanaya lajawab tha,,,mazmon to itna pukhta hay kay 3 marks bhi kam hain,,agar yehan mazmon kay marks 3 say ziyada hotay to wo tamam miltay,,khiyal ki infradiyet in ki irfan say mumaslat rakhti hay,,to munfarid na rahi

Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/2.5

Nasr Owr Bayania : 3/3

Kahani / Mazmoon :3/3
__________
10/8.5

TAHREER #3
handsome nay boht khobsorti say kahani or mazmon ko yekja krkay likha hay..nasar or bayanya..kahani ki bunat pykhta thi..laikin in kay haan bhi khiyal ki infradiyet kuch kami ka shikar rahi,,,khiyal e no nahi tha,,marks ka jo formula hay marks usi kay mutabiq hi diye jasaktay hain

Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/2

Nasr Owr Bayania : 3/3

Kahani / Mazmoon :3/3
___________
10/8

TAHREER #4
jimmi sahb nay bhi umda likha,,lafzon ka chunao kaheen kaheen boht acha raha,,,in kay haan bhi khiyal ki infradiyet tawajja talab rahi,,apnay sabiqa muqabila kunindgaan ki tarha ye bhi pakistan ki azadi say shikwa kuna rahay,,jis ki bina pr in ka khiyal bhi munfarid nahi kahlaya jaskta

Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/1

Nasr Owr Bayania : 3/2

Kahani / Mazmoon :3/3
__________
10/6

TAHREER #5
dua e sahr nay bhi boht mahnat say likha,,,boht achay jazbaat hain,,,inhon nay bhi khiyal ki infradiyet pr tawajj nahi di,,,sabqa tahreeron ki tarha in kay haan bhi azadi say shikwa darj hay

Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/1

Nasr Owr Bayania : 3/2

Kahani / Mazmoon :3/3
__________
10/6

TAHREER#6

sameera nay boht acha likha,,inhon nay khiyal ki infradiyet main boht mahnat ki ..or mera khiyal hay kay apnay sabiqa tamam muqabila kunindgan say mukhtalif khiyal paish kiya,,or apna sar rakhnay main kamyab bhi nazar aaee hain..kahani or nasar wa bayaniya bhi umda tha

Khayal Ki Infiradiyat: 4/3.5

Nasr Owr Bayania : 3/3

Kahani / Mazmoon :3/3
___________
10/9.5

Urdu Poetry Forum

Raye shumari baraye muqabila maah-e-August 2007

Raye shumari baraye muqabila maah-e-August 2007