Urdu Poetry Forum

Khushgawaar shaam hai...aur Sani ka jee ker reha tha ke woh Kami per apna sandwhich kheench maare. Jub se woh aur us ke collegues is unjaan se puhaari Muqaam per picnic ke liye aaye they, tub se pata nahin kiyoon, jaise group bundi si ho geyi ho...Sani aik teref aur doosre sub us ke mukhalif. Woh janti thi ke yeh sub Kami ki shuraaret hai, mugur woh birah-e-raast use mukhatib ker ke aur hunsi aur tunz ka nishana nahin bun'na chahti thi, is liye jaise taise ker ke sehti rehi...Mugur ab to hud hi ho chuki thi. Ghusse aur jhullahut ke mile jule ta'suraat chehre per numayan they...aur woh kissi bhi lumhe aape se bahir ho sekti thi...sandwhich us ke haath main pichuk sa gaya tha, jise dekh ker woh saare apni hunsi rokne ki az hud koshishon main they...
Aur phir woh jhutke se uthi aur aik simt chul nikli... Pehle to us ke peeche se qehqahon ka aik toofan utha, mugur jub us ke qadem na ruke to Kami nain awaaz di aur uth ker use rokne ki koshish kee, mugur doosre arhe aa gaye ke use jane diya jaaye, jub ghussa thunda ho ga to khudhi wapis aa jaaye gi. Kami bhi khamoshi se betha gaya mugur us ke chehre se us ki undarooni keifiyyet saf zahir thi.
Woh chulti rehi...aur un sub ko kosti rehi. Kaafi dair ba'd jub us nain nuzrain uthaain to apne aap ko aik bilkul ajnabi mahol main paaya. Ghusse ki jugha tujussus nain le li, aur woh bure inhimaak se apne ird gird ke sur subz aur shadaab durukht aur putton ko dekhne lugi. Shehron ke baasi qudreti nuzaron ko apne computer ki desktop per muzayyan kerne ki hud tuk hi khush rehte hain, aur jub un ka kabhi uchanuk is terha qudret ke dilkush nuzaron se tukraao hota hai to un ki bhi shayed wehi keifiyyet hoti ho gi jo is waqt Sani ki thi.
Sani to jaise kho hi geyi thi, aur woh un qudreti nuzaron se shayed pehli baar itne qareeb huwi thi. Who inhi nuzaron main gum thi ke uchanuk uske peeche putton ki sursurahet huwi. Us per jaise sukta sa taari ho gaya. Woh mur ker dekhna chahti thi mugur yeh khauf ke agar woh hili to pata nahin kiya ho, issi durr nain us ke dil ki dhurkenain taiz tareen ker dee theen.
Kuch lumhe woh issi terha apni saans roke khuri rehi aur sochti rehi, ke uchanuk jhariyon ke under se aik gulehri namoodar huwi aur ain Sani ke saamne a ker munjamid ho geyi. Sani ki to jaan hi chuli geyi thi, aur gulehri ko is terha tuktuki baandhe dekh ker us ki to hunsi hi nikel geyi. Ab gulehri ko shayed shock pohoncha tha isiliye who apni dum zameen se ooper uthati huwi aik simt daur geyi. Sani us ke peeche be ikhtiyaar chul peri.
Abhi us nain chund qadem hi liye they ke us ke saamne kuchi serek namoodar huwi. Us ki aankhain gulehri ka ta’qub ker rehi theen, jub use kuchi serek ke akhir main who ghur nuzur aaya.
Woh aik dum ruk geyi aur apne qareeb hi durukht ki oat main chup geyi….gulehri itminaan se daurti huwi ghur ke derwaze ke saamne ruki…aik second ke liye muri aur phir ghayeb ho geyi. Sani durukht ke oat main khuri soch rehi thi ke is jugha per…itni beronuq jugha per aakhir yeh ghur kaisa? Woh yehi sochte huwe ke kahen us ghur ka main koi makeen na ho, aur use na dekh le, kuch dair usi terha be hurket rehi, mugur kissi ki ahut na pa ker woh aik haath durukht per rukhe us ghur ka jaiza lene lugi.
Go ke ghur bilkul sakit lug reha tha, mugur is weerane main hone ke bawajood use us ghur se kissi qissam ki wehshut, yaan khauf mehsoos nahin ho reha tha….Ghaur kerne per woh is nateeje per pohonchi ke yeh ghaliban kissi ameer zade ka summer cottage hai, jisse purindon ke shikaar ka shoq reha ho ga…kiyoon ke is ilaqe main na hi khauf naak durindon ka basera hai, na hi zehreele bichuon aur saanpon ka. Us ki bunawet bhi khasi neyi hi thi.
Sani abhi inhin sochon main thi ke use apne peeche kuch logon ki awaazain sunaai deen. Ghaur kiya to pata chula ke who awazain us ke collegues ki theen, jo gala phaare us ka naam le rehe they…Us nain be ikhtiyaar ‘Main yahan hoon’ ki nida dee…laiken agle hi lumhe us ke chehre per aik shureer si muskurahet ubhri. Soch rehi thi ke unhain thora sutaaye gi, aakhir ko who bhi to itni dair apna ghussa burdaasht kerti rehi hai. Yeh sochte hi who durukht ke uqab se nikli aur cottage ki janib chul dee.
US ke collegues ki awaazain ab bohot qareeb aa chuki theen, ghaliban Sani ki awaaz un tuk pohonch geyi thi issi liye who teer ki terha udher hi aa rehe they. Sani afra tefreeh ke alam main derwaze ki janib jhupti, aur derwaza bughair kissi muzahimet ke khulta chula gaya. Who hairaan thi ke aakhir is cottage ka qafal khula kaisa tha, na hi us ke handle per kissi qissam ki sukhti ke nishanaat they, jaise is cottag ke makeen nain jaan booch ker ise khula chora ho. Aik lamhe ko who hichkichaayi ke shayed under koi hai mugur under ka jaiza lete hi us ki saans main saans aayi. Under bilkul khali tha, aik dum khaali.
Usi waqt who under ki terf lupki aur derwaza bund kerte huwe dayeen janib deewar main lugi khirki se chipek geyi. Ab woh unhain dekh sekti thi, jo ke ab bhi ussi simit chulte aa rehe they aur lugataar us ka naam pukaar rehe they. Who janti thi key yeh log use dhoondte huwe shayed ghur ka bhi chukker lugayen ge, yehi soch ker woh khirki se saath wale kumre main chupne ke liye murri hi thi, jub Sani nain use dekha. Khauf ki shiddet se us ke pair lurkhuraaye aur woh apna tawazun burqarar na rukh seki aur uski kumer deevar se buri terha tukraayi, mugur us ki haulnaak cheekhain us derd ki wejha se na theen, bulke yeh who durr tha jo us per buri terha hawi ho chukka tha.
Laiken who lerki apni jugha se tus se muss bhi na huwi. Sani ki aankhain shayed apne hewlon se girne ko theen, kumre main siref us ki taizi se chulti huwi saanson ki awaaz thi. Woh lerki ab bhi waise hi khuri rehi. Us ke baal bikhre huwe they, jin per mitii aur gurd ki tehain jummi huwi theen…kupron per surkhi ke be tahasha nishanaat they, gehre surkh rug ke…khoon ke dhubbe…aur woh ab bhi khamosh khuri thi. Us ka chehra neech ki teref jhuka huwa tha aur Saani nain abhi tuk us ka chahra na dekha tha….
“Sani….kahan ho……sani….SANI…..”…a wazain ab ghur ke bilkul qareeb aa chuki theen…Sani ka dil phutne ko tha…Use to shayed yeh bhi nahin mehsoos ho reha tha, ke us ki aankhon se zar-o-qitaar pani jari hai, woh to siref aik hi ehsaas main lipti thi….khauf ke ehsaas main…Ussi lamhe who bughair soche samjhe derwaze ki teref jhupti…laiken durwaza nahin khula…
Cheekh cheekh ker us ke gule ki rugain ubhur ayi theen, mugur derwaza us se na khul seka. Usi lumhe use apne peeche ahut ka ehsaas huwa….use sukte ka shaded jhutka sa luga tha, saare a’asaab shul ho chuke they…sochne samajhne ki tamam quwwatain muflooj ho chuki theen…who kaampti taangon aur dhurukte dil se muri…
Ab woh lerki us se siref aik guz door chehra jhukaaye khuri thi…..Us ke jism main hulki si junbish huwi…Us nain chehra uthaya aur Sani ko apni humshukel nuzur aayi, laiken chehra is buri terha musukh chukka tha ke Sani aik falag shugaaf cheekh maar ker zameen bos ho geyi.
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Kamran doctor Shah ke saath musroof tha, aur baqi saare collegues aik side per bethe they. Sub ke chehron se pareshaani tupuk rehi thi.
“Kamran sahib, main filhal aap ko un se milne nahin de sekta…aap kel kisi waqt ayen…unhain jis qissam ka shock pohoncha hai…unhain shayed aik mukhsoos phychotherapy ki zarooret paish aaye gi….woh abhi abhi apne huwas main nahin hain”
Kamran nain kuch aur kehna chaha mugur phir chup reha. Woh kuch sochta huwa apne collegues ki teref dekne luga jub doctor nian use mukhatib kiya…
“Aap log buta sekte hain, woh aap logon ko aisi condition main kahan mili thi?”
“Hum use dhoond rehe they, ke jub us nain humain awaaz dee…hum daurte huwe wahan pohonche to, who humain jhariyon main behosh peri mili…us waqt us ke chehre ki rungut bilkul neeli per chuki thi…”
“Hmmm…to aap keh rehe hain ke wahan un jhariyon ke aas paas koi ghur, yaan koi cottage nahin tha?”
Kamran nain chonkte huwe doctor ko dekha….us ke collegues bhi apni sochon se chonkte huwe doctor ko tukne luge…
Doctor unhain chonkte huwe dekh ker khud hi kehne luge…
“Saniya nain do aik baar, durwaza kholo….bur buraya tha…nurse ke mutabiq, jub bhi saniya nain yeh keha hai, us ke chehre per ajeeb se kurb ke ta’asurat jum jate hain”
Kamran aur us ke collegues Doctor ko aise dekh rehe they ke jaise who koi aasmani mukhlooq ho.

………………………………….
Door kaheen barish apne poore zor-o-shor se burus rehi thi. Her teref siref barish ke burusne ka shor tha. Woh khirki main khuri bahir undheron main khoi huwi thi. Us ke baal ab bhi bhikre huwe they…aur kupron per surkhi numayan thi. Gulehri us ke saath hi khuri thi…Us nain jhuk ker use apne bazuon main liya aur us ke ghunne baalon per apna haath pherne lugi…
Us ke chehre per bhi barishain burus rehi theen…aankhon se luruzti huwi barish….

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Salam:
It's a nice story mate...really interesting Aaski....seems that the squirrel's idea is taken from 'Alice in wonderland' ...but man it's really awesome ......especially the last para, the sad effect you tried to creat....just awesome......you have really a good sense of writing and sketching an story's plot...why not you start writing stories professionally...... truly speaking I could not get any idea from that one 'Phir bahar aai hay', because I could not get it, but the last one ('net beeti') and this one are really superb and interesting....I congratulate you that you have made a successful attempt to maintain a reader's interest till the end of story and that's all what a successful story needs.... Keep on writing like this...

Chao..

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So in "Alice in Wonderland"....was Alice the squirrel...... .

Hahha....mizaah yaar...kiddin'...

Nahin yaar...pata nahin bus mujhe squirell hi zayadah suit ker rehi thi wahan...so daal diya jungle main...

Thank you very much....passand kerne ka bohot shukriya...main filhaal amatuar hi bun jaon buri baat hai....professional ka tag khair abhi bohot dooooor hai....dekhain ge...

Thanks again...
Adios.

Waqaayi...aisa kiya?????

End hi to samajhne ka tha naan.....yaar....aik baar aankhain bud ker ke purho...nahin samajh aya to qassam dehli ke Minar-e-Pakistan ki...main az khud, bunufs-e-nafees aap ke derbaar main thumri ke saath hazri doon ga...

achee kahani hia, acha likhtey hai AAS aap