Salaams: Is mah ke Muqable per nuzur peri to apni khud ki net beeti ka khiyaal aa gaya. Pata nahin yeh kahani net beeti per fit bethti hai ke nahin...khair, dekhte hain. Is kahani ke characters asli nahin hain, to nuqli bhi nahin hain...waqeyaat ussi terha paish kiye gaye hain jaise ke huwe they.....well, thori si fiction to allowed hi hai naan serkaar 
...mulahiza fermaaiye. ___ Aik Net BEETI ___
"Kiya kerain...kiya kerain...yaar kahan phuns gaye hain...kiya kerain...isshhhh...."
Jub aap bhi kissi airport ke transit lounge main 14 ghunte atke rehain to aap ke bhi yaqeenan ausaan target se khuta ho sekte hain...jaise ke Istanbul ke Ataturk Airport per mere ho gaye they... Ajeeb si kaifiyyet thi...Go ke abhi 14 ghunte ho chuke they, mugur transit lounge ke anqareeb khul jaane ki koi ummeed nazar nahin aa rehi thi. Tufani hawaain, us mai aap burf ke mote mote gole peros lain aur saath hi her aik aadh ghunte ba'd rim jhim, nahin, rim jhim nahin, bulke jhula jhul kerti moosladhaar barish ka aik tea spoon add ker dain, is ajeeb si haandi ko faburary ke thunde yukh tuwwe per pukaain, to jo cheez bun jaaye gi, woh ajeeb si cheez us din ka mausam kehlaye gi.
Woh to shuker hai ke lounge khucha khuch bhura huwa tha, jis ki wejha se mere naseeb main koi kursi, maiz yaan moltyfoam bed nahin aa seka...merte kiya na kerte, apne chote se laptop ki lap per hi pare rehe. Go ke central airconditioner nain humain bahir ki haibet se yukser bekhuber rukha tha, laiken zameen apne hisaab se phir bhi zameeni thi.
16 ghunte, aur bhook se maare shukel aisi ho geyi jaise bush ki ho geyi thi; jub woh munhoos paida huwa tha na, haan bilkul waisi. Main phir se utha, ghaliban mera koi durjunwaan chukker tha transit lounge ka, ghoom ghoom ker phir waheen aa jate jahan se ghoomne ki jasaaret ki thi. Burger city jo ke ooper ke floor per tha, tha to us waqt bhi waheen, yaani woh abhi tuk waheen tha jahan 16 ghunte pehle tha...mugur main wahan nahin tha, wahan hone ke liye khase paison ki zarooret thi, aur maine tuhaiyya kiya tha ke nahin (2 ghunte pehle tuk), paise khurch nahin kerne, kumbukht semester ka suteyanaas ho jata hai (Yeh mere 7 semesteron ka tujruba keh raha tha, aur saatwen semester tuk yehi tujruba reha...khair se). Laiken pait ki awaaz mere zameer ka gala ghont chuki thi, aur ab maine bhi apne nufs ko aik burger aur chips ki nuzur ker reha tha, me haal-e-musti-o-dheetpuna.
Waheen jahan main apni iftaari main juta huwa tha, saamne hi counter per aik ad per nuzur peri, turkce main likha tha ke aap burger ke saath saath WWW ke bhi muze leejiye beth ker, for free. Maine nuzrain ghumaain, kaheen koi kursi na mili, choonke main khud stand per khure ho ker musroof-e-ghiza tha...to net to beth ker ist'maal kerna tha naan yaar, haan to is liye maine zara aik adad kursi ki jatan ki.
Loh jee, waqqar miyaan, urf KHURPAINCH online they. Yaqeenan web main kaheen andhe andhere teer chula rehe honge, churre jo they, laiken bala ke meesne bhi they. Records ke liye, un ka C.G.P.A 4.00 tha aur yeh un ka aakhri semester tha, meri terha. Main apni C.G.P.A na hi butaaon to behter hai.....
Haan jee to salam dua ke ba'd "Oye kub nikulna hai tu nain..." Waghaira. Kiyoon ke woh pehle hi airport ka aik trip luga chuke they 14/ 15 ghunte pehle...Aur jutana bi tha ke rah-e-yaar main kitni mushkilon ka saamna kerna per reha hai unhain, flan flan. Maine murrawwatan keha ke aate huwe turkish delight khareed laon ga duty free se, khaas un ke liye, ab moon aisa na bunaiye, waise jaisa tha waise bhi khasa moon hi tha. Woh kahan meri sunte...woh rishte main mere daddy hurgiz nahin they, mugur woh mere peer-o-murshid hone ki full qualifications le ker paida huwe they. Aur main dil ke kissi kone khudre main un se kuch kuch hasad bhi rukhta tha...shhh...aapis ki gul hai jee.
- " To mela baita kiya kel reha hai is wele? "
->" Burger shurger, u know...acha tha..."
- " Achi baat hai, khali pait teri shukel bilkul waisi ho jati hai...jaise......."
->" Haan bus theek hai...no need for a reminder (maine kuch jul bhun ker keha, husb-e-adut).
- " Ha! abe apna khoon to na jula.....haan aik news thi"
-> " Ke tere buche nain matric fail ker dee hai "
- " Abe woh purani ho geyi....sun... Technische Universität Berlin....remember "
-> " NO....aisa nahin ho sekta "
- "Ahaan......"
-> "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO"
- " Haha....bus yaar dekh le "
-> " Unbelieveable....zab erdest be...."
- " Kel hi e-mail aayi thi...full scholarship, accomodation and utensils scholarship aur latest nano technology per research...mannnnn "
(Hasrat ka yeh alam dekha na jaaye.....us khurpainch ke ser per chut dig jaaye....shayed mere wajood se uth'te huwe dhuween ke badul hi they jub aik waiter mere qareeb aa ker bure piyaar se bola....Cola....tub maine jhulla ker keha...pepsi...woh mujhe aise dekhta huwe chulta buna jaise maine apni hi dum per pair rukh diya ho...)
-> " Buri khushi huwi sun ker...well u were expecting it i know... bohot bohot murakaan..."
- " Thanks yaara...bus abhi ghur yeh news pohonchaani hai...aur suna...kaisa mahol hai wahan? "
(Parriyon main ghira pura hoon...ullu ke parathe....angoor huzum ker reha hoon...)
-> " Kuch khaas nahin...aik mehmaan hai mere bughul main...woh bhi web istmaal ker rehi hain "
- " Kiya mutlab REHI HAIN? "
-> " Kiya aap ko Urdu samjhani pare gi? "
- "Kiyoon bukwaas ker reha hai...? Ainween ki jhuk na maar! "
-> " Please mind your language, woh sun le gi to kiya kehe gi kaise jahil dost hain mere? "
- " Oh...to kiya urdu speaking hai? "
-> " Nahin ... Tukun..."
- " Ha! Khulli aankhon khawab "
-> " Dekh mind ker jaaye gi...enough "
- " Laiken main to text likh reha hoon "
-> " Abe text ki bhi zubaan hoti hai..."
- " To head phone luga le ghude... main to kehoon ga"
-> " Dekh, agar tu nain apni buk buk jaari rukhi to duffa ho ja"
- " Acha acha yaar, aisi kiya be rukhi serkaar....."
Waqfa (Ab maine cola ke liye nuzrain doraain)
- " Waise yaar, suchi suchi dusseen...kis ke saath hai "
-> " Teri surguwaasi nani ke saath hoon "
- " Hmm....good good...kaise mulaqaat huwi? "
(Chalo...hum bhi teer chulate hain...shayed ke use bhi wohi derd ho jo ke humare dil ke tukhne main muchul reha hai....ishtory buna be ishtory....)
-> " Bus yaar...yaheen mulaqaat huwi... "
- " Acha!!!...Interestin g....bohot ache...to aap keh rehe hain ke turkish hain woh "
-> " Ankara li "
- " Wellahi "
-> " Evet kardes " (Mutlab ke yes brother)
- " haha..."
-> " Yeh tu khuchur kiyoon ho gaya ? "
- " Haha, good good... aik tere saath yeh coincidence acha rehta hai..."
-> " Jub duniya tujh jaise saarhe 5 foot ke khurpainch per mehurbaan hai to yeh tera bhaai 6 footiya kiya kum hai "
Koi jawaab nahin aya, ghaliban woh lufz Khurpainch unhain gudgudi ker gaya.....kuch ajeeb si khushi ka ehsaas, aur saath main chilled cola...acha hai....ab sub acha hai...
- " Waise hai kis university kee ? "
-> " Apni hi ki hai...english literature department...2nd year yaar..."
- " Wah re ooper wale...department bhi khoob chuna hai..."
-> " Ooper wala aur chupper phaar, aur yeh woh "
- " Haan haan...tere chupper main chipkaliyaan aande deti rehti hain...waise un mohterma ka naam kiya hai ? "
-> " Ayse " (jaise ayeshe keha jata hai...woh alag baat hai ke turkey main puther uthaao to teen chaar ayshe nikel hi aati hain )
- " Hmm...achi baat hai...i still don't believe it..."
-> " Acha ab dumaagh na chaat....ja ab...unhain zara web per kaam hai "
(Kuch dair ba'd ... )
- " Excuse me Sir"
Tooti phooti english main mere peeche se awaaz aayi...Mura to aik laheem shaheem Police wale se nainaan chaar huwe.
-> "Jee fermaaiye"
- " Kiya main aap ka boarding paas aur passport dekh sekta hoon? "
-> " Hayeen...acha!!!.... Jee...yeh leejiye "
Maine jhijukte huwe apni saari shunaakht us ke haathi kaan jaise haath main thuma dee...Us nain aik sersiri nuzur un donon ko shana ba shana rukhte huwe daali...phir itminan ki aik leher us ke chehre per namoodaar huwi...mujhe bhi qudre itminaan sa huwa ke aal tu jalal tu, aayi police ko taal tu ...waali...
- " Please, mere peeche peeche apne saare samaan sumait chule aaiye "
Maine abhi apne haath aage ki teref hi burhaya tha jub yeh jumla mere kaanon main tupka...kuch ajeeb sa ho gaya tha...mera haath mere passport aur boarding card ki teref jitne itminan se utha tha, utni hi bechaargi se apne laptop ki teref burh gaye.
Burger city se neeche uterte huwe mujhe Jitni bhi soortain yaad theen, perh deen...aur keyi nuful bhi phoonk diye...mera saara maazi mere saamne kissi titli ki khushgawaar uraan ki terha sirek gaya aur meri aankhon ki silver screen meri yaadon ki premiere bun geyi...idher se puthakhe ure to udher se aathisbaaziyaan huween...
Neeche teen aur gende numa police officers aur aik three piece main khurant kissam ka asal genda khure meri ta'zeem main jutte huwe they...ab mujhe aap ko yeh butaane ki to zaroroet nahin ke police ka naam sunte hi mujhe chooha yaad aa jata hai...chooha...bus ab koi aur misaal nahin mil rehi to chooha sehi...
Transit lounge mere peeche reh gaya aur main "For Staff Only" wali rahdari main dhukail diya gaya...unjane khauf se khauf kha ker, mere haath be ikhtiyaar meri pockets main chule gaye, ke kaheen kissi nain mujhe con to nahin ker diya...meri jaibon main koi lifafa to nahin chor gaya....mugur be sood.
Aik durwaza khula....aur mujhe under jaane ka keha gaya, abhi tuk police walon ke chehron se policegi nahin bikhri thi...hairet .... Kumre ke beech main siref aik maiz thi, aur char kursiyaan...Tension se mere haathon ki hutheliyon main paseena aane luga tha...aik lumhe ba'd dayeen turuf se chaar paanch police wale zahir huwe aur un main se aik nain mujh mukhatib kiya...
- " Atif...Atif Munir..."
-> " Jee "
- " Bethiye "
-> " Jee behter "
Phir kuch dair khamoshi rehi...Woh aik doosre ke chehre perhte rehe, aur main honuk buna betha unhain tukta reha...Gangster movies ke saare crime scene mujhe yaad aane luge...saath hi soch reha tha ke kiya main koi wakeel afford ker sekoon ga!
- " dekhiye Atif, humare sawaalon ka saaf saaf jawaab dete rehiye...10 min main farigh ker diye jain ge "
-> " Aagh "
Aur phir sawalaat, kahan se aa rehe ho, kahan ki rawangi hai...(boarding card kafi nahint ha shayed)...kiyoon ja rehe ho...kiya kaam kerte ho...aur pata nahin kiya kiya...
20 Min Ba'd...
- "Kiya yehi hai aap ka poora samaan ? "
-> " Jee..jee.."
Phir mere laptop ki shaamut aayi...beri be derdi se mere laptop ka purkhuche ura diye gaye...laiken saare purze salim hi rehe...
- " Kiya aap inhain jaante hain? "
Koi kumre main dakhil huwa. Woh aik koobsooret si sunehre balon wali lerki thi...hulye se yaqeenan university ki student thi, aur thuki thuki aankhain buta rehi theen ke hum donon hi transit lounge ke musafir thehre.
Maine nufi main ser hila diya....Yehi sawaal us lerki se bhi kiya gaya...to wahan bhi yehi reaction dekh ker police wale ser khujane luge... Mujhe phir wapis ussi kumre main phenk diya gaya jub airport ke speakers se awaaz goonji ke Cyprus ke liye flight aadhe ghunte ba'd rawaangi ke liye tayaar hai...please lounge number flan flan main aa dhumkiye...Yeh awaaz aisi hi thi jaise mujhe waqt se pehle graduate kera diya ho, dhukke se.
Phir derwaza khula to ussi police officer nain keha ke, jub aap cyprus land kerain ge to aap ko wahan 2 se dhai ghunte wait kerna pare ga...maine socha wejha poochon ke aakhir KIYOON!!! Mugur is ultimatum main jahan mujhe intizaar ka hukm tha waheen is transit lounge se najaat ki khushgawaar nida bhi thi...aur choonke yeh main nahin tha, yeh mere under ka chooha tha jis se woh mukhtib tha, to choohe nahin hi jawaab diya "Acha jee."
Aadh ghunte ba'd cyprus ke plane per main be sudh pera hawaon per perwaaz ker reha tha...thukaan hi kuch aisi thi...Woh mujh se khaasi peeche ki nushist per burajamaan thi...
Ercan airport per jub sub apna samaan uthaaye ja chuke they, to peeche reh jane walon main se siref do buche they...hum...yaani main aur woh, sunehre balon wali.
Yahan bhi hum police ke mehmaan they. Laiken is baar hum donon aik hi kumre main they...Maine socha ke is museebat ke babut kuch poochon mugur woh himmat na juta seka...kuch aisa hi belagaam husn tha...
- " Kiya aap buta sekte hain ke yeh sub kiyoon ho reha hai ?"
Mujhe aik jhutka sa luga aur maine pehli baar is poori trip per use ghaur se dekhne ki jasaret kee.
-> "Nahin, bilkul nahin"
- " Mugur aakhir kiyoon ?"
Woh hud derje pareshaan dikh rehi thi...aur main ullu ka butt.
-> " Kiya aap ke ghur wale yan dost ahbaab main se koi hai bahir aap ko lene ke liye..."
- "Hain to sehi, mugur yeh police wale chorain ge tub ki baat hai"
Kuch dair ba'd durwaza khula aur police wale humare samaan ke saath under dakhil huwe. Samaan per siref aik hi nuzur butati thi ke samaan ke aik aik zurre ki buri baqreeki se muaina huwa hai. Police walon nain samaan humare hawale kerte huwe keha...
- "Shayed humain ghulut information mili thi...aap log ab araam se airport se jaaiye...agar aap log chahte hain to aik police van aap logon ko aap ke thikane chor aati hai."
-> "Nahin, koi zarooret nahin, shukriya" ...
donon teref se behem yeh jawaab paa ker, police waale chulte bune...maine juldi se apna samaan pack kiya mugur jub tuk woh tayaar na huwi maine apne qadem nahin uthaaye. Airport se bahir nikulne ki dair thi ke woh haseena apni saheliyon aur doston ke dermiyaan ghir geyi...aur main apna sa moon liye parking stand ki teref murr gaya. Khurpainch late ho gaye they, husb-e-riwayet...laiken dair ayed, durust ayed.
Khurpainch ki halut kuch aisi thi jaise use kissi saanp nain valentine card bhej diya ho. Shayed woh dil se itna la ubaali nahin tha jitna ke apni shukel yaan taur tareekon se dikhta tha. Khair...ghur pohonche aur sukoon ki saans lee.
Kuch din ba'd meri us se ittefaq se University Library main mulaqaat huwi...aur phir silsila chul nukla. Main ussi semester yaqeenan khurpainch ki husud ke badaulut graduate ho gaya...aur khurpainch kissi aur dager ka raahi...puluk chupukte hi woh din aankhon se ghayeb ho gaye...maine ussi university main masters ki sochi...aur waheen ka ho reha...Aaj kel woh haseena bhi linguistics main masters ker rehi hain.
Aik aur ittefaq....us lerki ka naam bhi....Ayse tha.
Aas