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This is a discussion on [woh mera hamdam... ] within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; Salam dostoon, aaj phir aik toti pothi nzm lai ker ayan hoon ummed hai aap logo ki rai milay gi ...
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#1
05-31-2007, 09:29 AM
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Salam dostoon, aaj phir aik toti pothi nzm lai ker ayan hoon ummed hai aap logo ki rai milay gi phir say................. ... woh mera hamdam... darkan hai ya ahsas hai toota huwa saaz hai sooni si aik raat hai khamoshii mai baat hai bat bai bayan hai matlab sab aayan hai lehja tota phota hai ankhain bhegi bhegi hain kajal bikhra bikhra hai noor sa chehra hai baal ghata gehri kali si sadgi sawan ki tarah husn hasin bina zaiwar woh haya ka paiker woh mera ham dam hai bai bayan saa khamosh hai thora per sara bayan saa woh mera hamdam...         |
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#2
05-31-2007, 09:39 AM
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first time apki poetry read ki achi kavish ha per rawani mai kami ha baykhud si kavish k socha ore likhtay gay but achi try ha ore iss line main baal jhata gehri kali si issmai shaid spelling mistake ha gahta ko jhata likh diya ha gour kijiya ga overall theme achi ha likhtay rahay pre ziada pukhtagi aya gi wish u all the best
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#3
05-31-2007, 09:44 AM
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Quote:
thnks 4 ur +ve comment shazlay mistake mai nay door ker di hai, aap logoo ki muhabbat milti rahay to mai yeh bhi seekh longa t c b happy Allah HAfiz, |
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#5
05-31-2007, 11:21 AM
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nice.........,. 
__________________ s0ft-sp0ken  |
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#6
05-31-2007, 11:37 AM
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nice................ ......
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#7
05-31-2007, 02:40 PM
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Salam, Pehli baar app ka kalam parha, very nice. koshish to bohat acchi hai, laikin kaheen kaheen zaban atak rahee hai agar wahan alfaaz ki tabdeela la kay rawan kar dein to bari behtreen nazm bun jaye gee. Raza
__________________ MujhKo Meray Afkaar kay Aainay mein dekho Qirtaas kay Dhabbay meri pehchaan nahi hen Sahir Faizabadi |
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#8
05-31-2007, 04:33 PM
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boht khooob jiii achi thoughts hein inshallah ahista ahista rawani b behter ho jay gi sada khush rahein
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#9
05-31-2007, 08:04 PM
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w.s bohut acha likha aap ne likhtey rahe k likhtey rehne se mazeednikhaar ata jaye ga
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#10
06-01-2007, 06:15 AM
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achi kawish hy ajnabi sahab! nazm ka markazi khyal acha laga.... lekin abhi rhythm ki kuch kami mehsoos ho rahi hy, keep writing & sharing with us, Allah Mola aap ko bohat ziada ata kary, khush raheN, aabad rheN,....
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! |
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