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This is a discussion on Raye shumari baraye muqabla-e-nazm goi.. April-08 within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; is maah muqablay k liye jo mozu muntakhib kia gaya...woh hai ; ~Baarish~ humaisha ki tarah is martaba bhi bohat ...
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#1
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![]() is maah muqablay k liye jo mozu muntakhib kia gaya...woh hai ; ~Baarish~ humaisha ki tarah is martaba bhi bohat say mu'aziz sathiyoN ne apni khubsoorat kawishat k sath muqablay maiN shirkat ki...hum unke shukr guzar haiN... nataij ka ailan judges ke mushtarka faislay par mabni hoga...judges say guzarish hai k woh 30th April tak humaiN apne faislay say agah kar daiN...judges har kawish ko 1-10 tak marks day saktay haiN...aakhir maiN tamam marks ko jama kar k hatmi nataaij ka ailan kia jayega.. humaray Mohtaram judges k naam darj-e-zail haiN; Sohail Malik, Anis Hasan, Aatif Saeed, Zehrab, Saraabs, saahir, MEHTAB, Kanch ki Mehroo & WanderingThoughts Evalutaion ka criteria yeh hai; Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 5 mozu = 5 total marks = 10 muqablay maiN shamil nazmaiN yeh haiN: 1: Autam barish Baarish aayi .. Phir Ek Baar... Baar Baar aane Se Use Rokega Kaun ? Baar Baar Aane Se Use Rokega Kaun .. Mere Darde Dil Ko Samjhega Kaun?? Dard Hain Jo Mere Dil Main Woh Chupaaye Kaise ../ Chupaane Se Dard Mit Jaayega Kya? Mit Gaye Hain Jo Dard.. Mit Gaye Hain Jo Dard... Woh Vaapas Aate Kyun Hain ? Aanewaale Pal ko Bheetewaale Pal Se Jodne de? Ya Phir Jode Do Use Rangbhare Khwaabon Se? Rangbhare Khwaabon Se.. Khushisaji Baaton Se.. Kya Ab main Roshan Karun.. Meri Yeh Tanhaaiyan? Aur Ek Barsaat Ki Aagaman Se ... Khushi Ki Ek Jhoke Se ???! --------------------------------------------------- 2: Pices " BAARISH" JANEE KIYAA BAAT HEE IK MUDAAT SEE ISS MULK PAR MULK=COUNTRY) AIK ANJANI SEE BENAAM MAGER QATIL BAARISH SHAB_E_TAREEK KI ZULMAT KI TARHA BARASTI HEE JIS SEE KHUSHBOO KI FIZAA MAND HUWEE JATI HEE (MAND=DIM) JANE KIYA BAAT HEE KIYON PHOL SEE NAZOK BACHEE APNE MASOOM HASEEN KHABON MEEN DAR JATE HEEN JANEE KIYON BARG PARESHAN KI BHI AAHAT SUN KAR SAANS HAR FARD KE SENEE MEEN ATAK JATI HEE JANE KIYON BACHON KO MAKTAB KI TARAF BHEJTE WAQAT MAOON KI ANKHOON SEE SELAAB OOMAD ATEE HEEN JANEE KIYA BAAT HEE IK MUDAT SEE ISS MULK MEEN (MULK=COUNTRY) KHON KI BAARISH SE HAR ZEHIN SULAG UTHAA HEE HAR GHARI QAEED SE BHAGE HUWE MUJRIM KI TARHA SAR PE LATKI HUWEE TALWAR NAZAR AATI HEE HAR KHUSHI REET KI DEWAR NAZAR AATI HEE KAASH AESSAA HO KEH IK NOOR KI BAARISH BARSEE ORE GHATAA TOOP ANDHEREE KI RADAA PHATT JAYEE KASH ISS SEHMEE HUWEE LASHKAR_E_INSANI MEEN HAR KHUSHI MAAL_E_GHANIMAT KI TARHA BATT JAYEE ------------------------------------------------- 3: denarouse BAARISH Barish ka pehla qatraa aa kay Jab who pyasee Zameen say milta hay Us millan kee khushee main bay ekhtiyaar Zameen kay ruu ruu say Mast Khushbu ummad see aatee hay Or thandee hawa kay mast jhonkay Who khushbuu samytay bahn'hun main Chaltay hain unchee nichee rah'hun main Zameen kay syraab honay ka jashan mannaty hain Chahar soo khushbu bakhyar daytay hain Dil kay bhee hotay hain hazrun rang Jitnay moosam hain sarry es main hain Chahatun kay hazarun rang gullab Pyaar kay jitnay hain moosam sarray Kooray kagaz kee trehan hain abb tek Kabhee too koiee awarra baddal Pyaar ka ban kay banjarra badal Bhoolay say aa kay kabhee barsay too Rooh tek ess say syrab hoo jaay Or phir ess ke khushbu say Dil ke dhertee gullab hoo jaay ------------------------------------------ 4: N@r@z baRISH ES SAY PEHLEY BE HOA KARTI TEE MAGAR YE AB KE BAR SUB GHONCHO KO APNE SATH LE KAR PIAR MUHABAT KI HAR AIK BAT LE KAR UJRE POLO KO MANANE AYA ROTE KALIOUN KO MANANE AYA SANDESA HALET-E-ZAR KA BHI KISI KO MUDAT KE INTIZAR KA BHI PIAS BUJHANE AYA UMEED DELANE AYA SABZA ZAROON SAY ES NE JUK JUK K AB K BAR TASLY DE HAIN SUB BAHARO KI ES NE MENTE KAR KE NAY UMEED NAYA JAZBA BAKHSHA, MUDAT SAY BEKREY HOI KHAK-E-ZAMIN DUA DTE HOWE TAKTI HI NAHI PAREND CHAREND MUSKURANE LAGE PEGHAM CHARO SO PELATAY HAIN SHUKRIA MEHRUBANI AUR NAWAZISH HAIN PEHLE BE HOA KARTI TEE MAGAR YEH AB KE BAR REHMAT-E-KHALIQ HAIN BARI HASSEN SEE MA KI DOWAOO KI TARAH bARISH HAIN. ---------------------------------------------- 5: Faridnawaz BAARISH Ye Dharti Lahaoo Rang Ho Rahi Hee Lamha Ba Lamha Khoon Barastaa Hi Ja Raha Hee Jis Tarha Barish Meen Bijli Ki Chamak Badal Ki Garaj Sunai Deti Hee Isee Tarha Iss Insani Khoon Ki Baarish Meen Cheekheen,Karaheen Sunai Deti Heen Ye Kesee Insani Khoon Ki Barish Hee Jo Barasti Ja Rahi Hee Ye Baarish Kab Barasna Band Ho Gi??? ------------------------------------------ 6: fazal khan BARISH barsat main jab barish hoti thi hum park main behta karty thy barish main bheega karty thy, aaj waisa hi barsat ka din hi, park k bench pe tanha !!!! betha bheeg raha hon, jin main hum tum sang bheegy thy un lamhon ko soch raha hon ------------------------------------------------ 7: cuteangel ~*~Phir Wahi Barish~*~ Yeh baarish ka mausam, Aur Tip tip girti yeh bundein. Jee karta hai kheedki se Haath badahke inhe chulein Yeh sochte hi magar ek yaad Mann mein ghar kar leti hai, Ek aise hi barish ke mausam mein, Kisine is kanpte haath ko thama tha, Thand ki lipat mein aaye is bande pe Apna jacket pyar se dala tha, Phir apna rumal nikal kar kisine, Mathe ka sari pani paunch kar , “Kahin thand na lag jaye tumhe”, kahe kar apni gadi mein bithatya tha Phir Ishi khidki ke pass gaadi rokar Mere andar aane tak intezaar karta raha. Jo maine haath hila kar kaha “suno, ab tum jao” aisa gaya who ajnabee, ke laut kar phir na aaya kabhi, laut kar phir na aaya kabhi…… --------------------------------------- 8: shaz malik BARISH USS KA NAAM MERI KHIDHKI PAR BOONDEIN GIRA KAR PAINT KARTI HAY MUJHE AAJ BHI YE YAAD DILANE K LIYE K WOH MUJHE YAAD RAKHE HUYE HAY TO PHIR TUM USSE KAISE BHOOL GAYI!!!!!!! HAWA AAJ BHI SHOR MACHATE HUYI MERE DARWAZE PAR PATON KI PAYEIL PEHAN KAR BAIN KARTI HAY AUR YE KEHTI HAY K ZARD RUTON MEIN BHI USS NAY THUMHARA SATH DIYA THA SABZ RUTTON MEIN TO PHIR TUM USS KO KAISE BHOOL GAYI!!!!! TO AEY BARASTI BARISHON AEY SANSANATI HAWAYO JUB USS K DEIS MEIN JANA TO BASS ITNA HI KAR DEINA MERE ASHKON KI CHAND BOONDEIN USS PAR BARSA DEINA MERI ARZOYON K MARQAD SAY KUCH KHUSK PATE USS K PAYON MEIN BICHA DEINA WOH JAAN JAYE GA MEIN USSE BHOOLI NAHI HAA PEHCHAN JAYE GA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ------------------------------------------------- 9: shikwa “BARISH OR YADAIN……” Ak Bheeni Khushboo Taiz Hawa Ka Jhonka Ly Kr I Hy Kuch Bety Lamho Ki Yadoun Ka Jhola Ly Kr I Hy Jab Barish Ki Pehli Bondain , Hathon May Samouya Karty Thy Phir Nannhi Nannhi Bondoun Say Chehray Ko Bhigouya Karty Thy Barish Ka Maza Leny K Lye Hum Bagh May Jaya Karty Thy Or Aik Pagal Bhanwray Ki Tarha Har Phool Ko Choma Karty Thy Kehny Ko Bht Nat Khat Thy Magr , Har Kaam Bighara Krty Thy Or Bholi Bhali Soorat Sy Hm Sab Ko Manaya Karty Thy Kaghaz Ki Naao Bana Kr Ham Paani May Chalaya Karty Thy Un Naao K Aik Kony May Hm Aik Deep Jalaya Karty Thy Barish Ki Boundo Sy Hm Usy Khud Aap Bujhaya Karty Thy Wo Bachpan K Din Beet Gay , Jb Mil K Sitary Ginty Thy Ab Tum Pardais K Baasi Ho , Or Hm B Tmhary Saath Nhi Barish Ka Maza B Rooth Gya , Shayad Ye Hmy Ab Raas Nhi Suno…..! Boundain Hatho May Lay Kr Hm Tum Ko Pukara Krty Hain Teri Yad K Deep Jala Kr Hm , Barish K Hawaly Karty Hain Hm Ab B Sitary Ginty Hain , Baghon May Jaya Karty Hain Barish Ki Boundon Ky Hamrah Sandeesy Rawana Krty Hain. Ak Pal Ko Tm Mehsos Karo Wo Mosam Phir Sy Aya Hy Jis Pal May Hazaron Khushian Thi’n Wo Mosam Phr Sy Aya Hy Hmy Kal B Tum Sy Raghbat Thi , Hmy Aj Bhi Tm Sy Raghbat Hy Ksi Roz Hmari Dunya May Sawan Ki Tarha Tum Aa Jao…. Us Roz Hmari Chahat Ko Takmeel Inayat Hojay …………….!!! -------------------------------------- 10: Anju Ay Moj-e-Saba KuCh TOO hi bata! Kahan hai manzil meri rukay ga kahan mera safer! dhoondoon kahan mae is ka nisha'n ay moj-e-saba kuCh Too hi BaTa! MeRay sehra-e-DiL per BaRish to rooz Barasti hai Kiyoon Mun Pher Bhi hai piyasa Ay MoJ-SaBa KuCh Too Hi BaTa! Khawaboon ki raFaqat mae Lafzoon ki zakhamat mae KonSa isam hai chupa Ay Moj-e-Saba KuCh Too Hi BaTa! Naseem-e-Bari jo aai hai kia paigham-e-wafa lai hai? Qismat mae kia ab bhi GoRi k hai DhokA Ay Moj-e-Saba KuCh Too Hi BaTa! NeeNdien GunWa Kr Bhi RiShTay suB khoo kr bhi KiA TaQdeeR mae meri Likhi Hai siRf RuSwaai?? ay MoJ-e-Saba KuCh Too Hi BaTa!!!!! ---------------------------------------------- 11: Mom0 KhooF Her GuzerTi RuT atkaliyan krti Bad-e-NaseeM SaWal Mujh Sy kerti hai Kon hai jo dherkun ben ker karoobar-e-zindgi chala raha hai khud zehr-e-gham peetay howy bhi Aouroon ko jam-e-nishaat pila raha hai Koi to hai jo WaFa K JuGnoo'on ko muthi mae qaid krna sikha raha hai Koi to Hai jo KhUsHboo khushboo kiran kiran bun kr fiza ko mehka raha hai Chamka raha hai wo tery mun ka ChooR Jo TuJh Sy TuJh Ko Chura raha hai Mausum ki pehli barish ban kr Mun ko try bhigoo raha hai jo nerm lehjoon sy kund samaatoon ko jaga raha hai jo pakray daman tra chahatoon k safer pr ly ja raha hai mae Sub SuNti hooN Mery LaB Waa Hoty hain maGeR! Rasmoon' reetoon ki GehRi KhaAii LaFzooN ki qaBer Bun Ker Mery anSoo'on ko rah day dayti hai! AuR Ye Num AnkH PerHnAy ki BhaLa FuRsaT Kisay Hai!!! ---------------------------------------------- 12: papa ki shehzadi Uff yeh barish yeh bheega mosam, yeh barasti bonden yeh bheegtay pair, yeh nikhartay phool or yeh dhula dhula manzar Woh janta tha mujhay yeh mosam hamesha he bhaata hai so woh yeh mosam meray naam ker gaya ek bheegti shaam mujh se juda ho gaya us nay socha mosam k husn main mujhay uska gham halka lagay ga Magar woh pagal yeh na jan saka k us k mon mortay he sawan ka husn kho gaya tha yeh o asmaan tha jo ro raha tha yeh pair bhi udaas ho gaye thay or saray manzer dhundla gaye thay or woh... woh pagal barish ki bondon main meray aanso naa pehchan saka... ------------------------------------------- 13: Sohail2008 ------------------------------------------- 14: chalatmusafir BAARISH kisee khidhkee maiN hai, suroor ka ek jhoNka kisee chhat per hai, qayaamat barish is rut ke apne hee fasane haiN, thahra kahiN lamha bhar, kahiN ta-qayaamat hai baarish is kee fitrat bhee insaani hai jism kee hiddat maiN hai, saylaab liye, jaise khushk ankhoN ki suurat maiN, bin mausam barsaat liye. meree aNkhoN ne bhee, rut ek sajayaa hai, jahaaN, kaalee ghataoN maiN chand ho roshan suraj ki aghee per badal khushiyaaN manayN thandee hawaa ka rut har soo sharmaye jahaan, ghutan zadah kothree maiN, lafz thandak phelaeN aur zard jhuree zadah apne aangan maiN bachhoN ki aahat per ghar sajayeN ghar ka mausam baahr ka mausam ek hojaye aur chupke se phir baarish ajaaye --------------------------------------- 15: danmurfi Khizaan Ki Barish teray khayal ki barish dareecha e dil mein gaye dinon kay manazir haseen jagati hai yeh abr e shaam ameen` hai hamarey jazbon ka har aik boond mein ik dastaan muqayyad hai kahin woh pal hain jo ik doosrey ki sangat mein jahan sey bey khabar apni hi dhun mein guzrey hain kaheen firaq ki raton mein chandni bojhal teray udaas mizajon ka pata deti hai milan ki aas ka nanha sa aik pair kahin samoom-e-hijr abhi tak jisey gira na saki yeh kesa abr hai k saal bhar barasta hai magar yeh jee na kisi tor bhi behelta hai isey yeh ilm nahin yeh khizaan ki barish hai baras bhi jaaye to konpal na koi khilni hai meray naseeb mein yeh barishein hi likhkhi hain teray wisal ka sooraj nahin nikalna hai tamam umr inhi barishon mein jalna hai ---------------------------------------------- 16: furqan ----------------------------------------------- 17: Haya n '' Baarish...'' .................... .... Yaado'n Ki Dehleez Pay Baithay Sapnay Buntay Rehtay Hai'n Baarish, Mai'n Owr Tum Khushiyo'n Ka Ik Ik Moti Sapno'n Mai'n Pirotay Hai'n Baarish, Mai'n Owr Tum Khuaab Nagar Ki Paryo'n Kay Sang Mil Kar Urtay Phirtay Hai'n Baarish, Mai'n Owr Tum Daali Daali Pay Urti Titliya'n Pakartay Hai'n Baarish, Mai'n Owr Tum Chahat Ki Barkha Mai'n Bheegay Kitna Hanstay Rehtay Hai'n Baarish, Mai'n Owr Tum Pyar, Mohabbat Kay Jhoolay Mai'n Jhoola Jhooltay Rehtay Hai'n Baarish, Mai'n Owr Tum Chahato'n Kay Mosam Mai'n Raqs Kartay Raihtay Hai'n Baarish, Mai'n Owr Tum Prem Ruto'n Mai'n Bheegay Huway Háya Kay Sang Chaltay Hai'n Baarish, Mai'n Owr Tum ----------------------------------------- 18: sidra baig ![]() ----------------------------------------- Note: Is thread maiN judges k ilawa kisi bhi member ki taraf say ki gai post delete kar di jaye gi.. khush rahiye HG Aminidstration
__________________ ![]() . . . Mere dil.. Mere musaafir..! Last edited by kanch ki mehroo; 04-30-2008 at 12:53 AM. |
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#2
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| HG Ke Dosto, Assalam-o-Alaikum. Muqabla-e-nazm goyee ki marking hazir-e-khidmat hai. Marking criteria wahi hai jo ooper bayaan kia gaya hai. 1. Autam: 1.5 + 1.5 = 3 2. Pisces: 3.5 + 3.5 = 7 (MashaAllah, pehle ke muqable maiN bohot imrovement nazar a rahi hai) 3. Denarouse: 1.5 + 2.5 = 4 4. Naraz: 1.5 + 1.5 = 3 5. Faridnawaz: 1.5 + 3 = 4.5 6. Fazal Khan: 3 + 3 = 6 7. Cuteangel: 1.5 + 2.5 = 4 8. Shaz Malik: 2 + 2.5 = 4.5 9. Shikwa: 4.5 + 4 = 8.5 (Bhai mashaAllah, kia khubsoorat nazm kahi hai, ji khush hogaya paRh kar) 10. Anju: 1.5 + 1.5 = 3 11. Mom0: 2 + 3 = 5 12. Papa Ki Shehzadi: 1.5 + 2.5 = 4 13. Sohail2008: 1.5 + 1.5 = 3 14. Chalatmusafir: 1.5 + 1.5 = 3 15. Danmurfi: 4 + 5 = 9 (SubhanAllah janab, kia kehne haiN, behtreen nazm likhi hai, mubarakbaad paish hai) 16. Furqan: 1.5 + 1.5 = 3 17. Haya n: 3.5 + 4.5 = 8 (Wah...hamesha ki tarah bohot khubsoorat nazm likhi aap ne) 18. Sidra Baig: 1.5 + 2 = 3.5
__________________ ******************** ******************* MaiN bulata to hooN usko magar aye jazba-e-dil Us pe ban jaye kuch aisi ke bin aaye na banay (Ghalib) |
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#3
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| Meri haqeer raaey mein is maah ki nazm ki marking derj-e zail hay. Tamam shora ney bohat achi koshishen ki hain aur muqabala kafi sakht raha hay. Marking yu hay: 1. Autam: 2 + 1.5 = 3.5 2. Pisces: 4.5 + 3.5 = 8 3. Denarouse: 2 + 2 = 4 4. Naraz: 2 + 1.5 = 3.5 5. Faridnawaz: 1.5 + 2.5 = 4 6. Fazal Khan: 3 + 4 = 7 7. Cuteangel: 2.5 + 3 = 5.5 8. Shaz Malik: 2 + 3.5 = 5.5 9. Shikwa: 3.5 + 4.5 = 8 10. Anju: 3 + 1 = 4 11. Mom0: 2 + 2 = 4 12. Papa Ki Shehzadi: 3 + 4 = 7 13. Sohail2008: 4 + 3 = 7 14. Chalatmusafir: 3 + 3.5 = 6.5 15. Danmurfi: 4 + 5 = 9 16. Furqan: 4 + 4 = 8 17. Haya n: 3 + 4.5 = 7.5 18. Sidra Baig: 1.5 + 2.5 = 4 Shukria Kher andesh Qamar
__________________ Kyun Teri Chashm-e mast ka ehsaaN uthaaiye Zehrab-e may sey ho gham-e hasti ager ghalat |
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#4
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| tamaam sh'ora ki kawishat umda raheeN.. mubarak bad qubool kijiye.. 1: autam andaz-e-bayaN = 1.5 mozu = 3 total = 4.5 2: pices andaz-e-bayaN = 4.5 mozu = 3 total = 7.5 3: denarous andaz-e-bayaN = 2.5 mozu = 3 total = 5.5 4: naraz andaz-e-bayaN = 1.5 mozu = 3 total = 4.5 5: faridnawaz andaz-e-bayaN = 1.5 mozu = 3 total = 4.5 6: fazal khan andaz-e-bayaN = 3 mozu = 3 total = 6 7: cuteangel andaz-e-bayaN = 2 mozu = 3.7 total = 5.7 8: shaz malik andaz-e-bayaN = 2.5 mozu = 3 total = 5.5 9: shikwa anadz-e-bayaN = 4 mozu = 3.8 total = 7.8 10: anju andaz-e-bayaN = 1.5 mozu = 3 total = 4.5 11: momo andaz-e-bayaN = 1.5 mozu = 3 total = 4.5 12: papa ki shehzadi andaz-e-bayaN = 1.7 mozu = 3 total = 4.7 13: sohail andaz-e-bayaN = 1.5 mozu = 3 total = 4.5 14: chalatmusafir andaz-e-bayaN = 1.5 mozu = 3 total = 4.5 15: danmurfi andaz-e-bayaN = 4.5 mozu = 4.5 total = 9 16: furqan andaz-e-bayaN = 1.5 mozu = 3 total = 4.5 17: Haya n andaz-e-bayaN = 3.8 mozu = 3 total = 6.8 18: sidra baig anadz-e-bayaN = 1.5 mozu = 3 total = 4.5 naik khahishat aap sab k liye.. khush rahiye
__________________ ![]() . . . Mere dil.. Mere musaafir..! |
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#5
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| tamam shurka aur judges ka bohat shukriya.. khush rahiye HG Administration.
__________________ ![]() . . . Mere dil.. Mere musaafir..! |
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