Urdu Poetry Forum

**kanch ki mehroo** · #1 03-21-2007, 07:24 PM

is martaba muqabla-e-nazam goi ke liye jo unwan diya gaya, woh tha..."Umeed"...hum un sab sho'ra ke shukar guzar haiN jinhoN ne muqablay maiN shirkat ki...aur apni khubsooorat tahareer hum sab ke sath share keeN...

jaisa ke aap sab ko ilm hai ke muqablay ke nataaij ka ailaan judges ke mushtarka faislay par mabni hoga...Judges say guzarish hai ke woh 31st March tak is thread maiN apne faislay say aagah karaiN...judges har nazam ko 1-10 tak marks daiNgay..aur aakhir maiN tamaam judges ke diye gaye marks ko jama kar ke hatmi nataaij ka ailaan kia jayega...

judges ke naam darj-e-zail haiN:

(Ankaboot, Aik Lamha, Kanch ki mehroo, Zain, Mehtab )

Evalutaion ka criteria yeh hai

Andaz-e-beyan (5 marks) (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul)
mozu (5 marks)
total marks = 10

muqablay maiN shamil nazmaiN yeh haiN:

1: Shehr-e-Wafa

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2: Subha757

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3: WanderingThoughts

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4: Kanwal Hussain

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5: Saahir

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khush rahiye
HG Administration

Note: Aap tamam sathiyoN se guzarish hay kay iss thread meiN post na kijiye... Judges k ilawa kisi bhi member ki post delete kerdi jaye gi...

**Ankaboot** · #2 03-30-2007, 01:34 PM

Alfaaz + Mozoo

1- Shehr-e-Wafa
2+3.5 = 5.5
Very sad to see a poet making mistakes in Urdu text. Lafz Sanbhal mein kahee'n bhi Harf Meem nahi aata , balkey Seen, Noon , Bey, Do aankh wali hey aur Laam. Aam urdu likhney parhney waloo'n ko Imla ki ghalatiyaa'n muaaf hoti hain, magar shora aur adeeboo'n ko aisi ghalatiyaa'n merey nazdeek hargiz hargiz muaaf nahi honi chahye.

2- Subha757
3.5 + 3.5 = 7

3- Faizan Ahmed
4 + 3.5 = 7.5

4- Kanwal Hussain
4.5 + 4.5 = 9
Very nice topic. Always love to see something outside love. Topic was very vast. cold have been avoided love with ease, which u obviously did. nice job

5- Saahir
4 + 4.5 = 8.5
U also did very good. when i saw the topic i was expecting something that is not related to old love stories. u didn't let me down. great wok

aNkaboot.

**Aik Lamha** · #3 03-30-2007, 07:46 PM

Shehr-i-Wafa

Wah khatoon.... kia zabardast nazm ki uthaan hay.. .wah.. kia khayalaat heiN.. parhtay hi jaisay iss k seher mieN girftar hogaye hum to... nazm ka aghaaz buhat hi umda hay... uthaan bhi buhat achi thi.. laikin darmiyan meiN wazn ki thori garbar hay aur phir uss k ba'ad aakhir tak nazm per aap ki giraf dheeli hoti gayee...

her aik pattay kay zard chehray ki iss thakan se
wehshat zada heiN

yahaN wehshat rawani meiN khalal daal raha hay..

aur phir lafz gerdishoN bhi sahi nahiN iss jaga pe...

aik spelling mistake bhi hay sambhal sambhal iss tarhaN nahiN likhtay .. .seen k ba'ad noon ata hay...

Overall dekha jaye to khayal acha hay... aur alfaz bhi achay hein... so aap k marks huway

mozoo = 5 ,
Andaz-i-bayaN=2.5

Aisa hi acha accha likhti rahiye.... aur share kerti rahiye..

Allah aap ko buhat taraqi day.. Ameen

Subha757

Ji buhat khushi huwi aap ki contribution ko dekh ker... buhat khooob likha hay aap nay.. Bilkul mozoo k mutabiq... laikin nazm meiN rawani aur wazn ki khasi kami mehsoos huwi... laikin agar hum issko aik nasri nazm k tour per dekheiN to rawani itni ahem nahiN rehti... chaliye phir hum dekhtay hien k khayalaat ki zarkhaizi kia kkehti hay.. .to meiN aap ko buhat mubarakbaad deita hooN k aap aik naya talent heiN.. laikin aap k khayalaat buhat hi zabardast aur buhat hi zarkhaiz haiNN.. .agar aap issi tarhaaN kawish kerti raheeN to buhat jald achay sh oura meiN aap ka shumaar hoga..

aap k marks heiN mozoo = 5
andaz-i-bayaaN = 1.5
total marks = 6.5

WanderingThoughts

Wah faizan bhai... buhat khoobsoorat nazm likhi hay aap nay ... wa'ada-i-ummeed ki buhat achi tasveer khenchi hay... bilkul perfect nazm hay meray hisaab se to.. buss aakhir kuch lines rythm meiN parhnay mein kuch takleef huwi.. wo bhi mera hi qasoor nikla

buhat aala' janab...

aap k marks huway mozoo = 5, andaz-i-bayaaN = 4

total marks = 9

Kanwal Hussain

Zabardast Kanwal sahiba.. buhat hi alaa'a buhat achi uthaan rahi aap ki nazm ki... aur akhir tak atay atay to yaqeen kijiye k aisa laga k palkeiN bheeg jayeiNgi... qari ko saath lay ker aap kahaN se kahaN lay gayeeN.. buhat kh oobsoorat.. buhat achay ista'araat ista'amal kiye hein.. buhat buland takhayyul bhi hay... buss darmiyan mein nazm thori ghair zaroori tour per taweel lagi.. jahaN sapnoN ka zikr hay.. wahaN 1 2 lines extra lageeN.. laikin ye to apnay style ki baat hay

buhat khooob... aap k marks huway mozoo = 5
andaaz-i-bayaaN=4

total marks = 5 + 4 = 9

Saahir

Buhat khoob sahir bhai.. ye nazm bhi nasri nazm ki category mein ati hay... aur khayalaat to buhat hi buland hein.. baqoul hamaray aik dost k , kay asmaan se baateiN ker rahay hein.. tradition se hat ker aap nay unwaan ko barta.. aur buhat hi khooob barta... ..

aap k marks huway

mozoo = 5
andaz-i-bayaaN = 3.5

total marks = 8.5

Sub participaants k liye best of luck.. .

Khush rahiye.. .

**kanch ki mehroo** · #4 03-30-2007, 09:00 PM

1: shehr-e-wafa
wahhh...nazam ka khayal bohat hi khubsoorat hai...kia kehnay..magar baz muqamat par rawani too'ti mehsoos huwi...magar majmooi taur par nazam bohat umda rahi...mozu bhi bohat dilkash hai...marks kuch yooN haiN;

andaz-e-bayaaN = 2.7
mozu = 5
total = 7.7

2: Subha757
PC maiN aik naya izafa daikh kar bohat khushi huwi...apki nazam bhi umda rahi... khayalat achay haiN..agarchay abhi takneeki hawaloN say nazam tawajja talab hai...magar majmooi taur par achi hai..

andaz-e-bayaaN = 2
mozu = 4.6
total = 6.6

3: WanderingThoughts
wahhhh..bohat hi khubsoorat nazam kahi bhai aapne...bohat hi khoob.. bohat pasand ai mujhe yeh nazam..

andaz-e-bayaaN = 4.4
mozu = 4.6
total = 9

4: Kanwal Hussain
wahhhhh... kia bat hai...kia hi kehnay...bohatt hi khubsoorat alfaz..bayhad umda andaz...dilkash ista'aray..

andaz-e-bayaaN = 4.5
mozu = 4.8
total = 9.3

5: Sahir
wahh...sab say mukhtalif andaz liye huwe apki nazam bohat hi khubsoorat rahi...bayhad umda..

andaz-e-bayaaN = 4
mozu = 4.6
total = 8.6

All da best...
khush rahiye

**MEHTAB** · #5 03-31-2007, 07:35 PM

to all Participants and judges

1. Sher-e-wafa

Muhtarma app ne buhat achi nazam kahi hay, Muzo buhat umdah hay but wazn main buhat gunjaish hay, likhti rahiay aur wazn ki taraf dhiyan dijiay.

Andaz-e-bayaN = 3
Mouzo = 4

Total Marks = 7

2. Subah757

App ki tehrer 1st time parhi aur buhat acha laga, aik umdah nazam hay aur khayalat bhi khoob hain, Go k aj kal nasri nazam ka riwaj buhat aam hay magar app koshish kijiay k wazn k sath kahen nazam ko, hamari janib se is khobsurat kawish par buhat si daad qabool kijiay.

Andaz-e-BayaN = 3
Mouzo = 4

Total Marks = 7

3. Woundring Thoughts

Faizan bhai kia kehne hain app ki is nazam k, dil khush hua app ki itni umdah tehrer parh kar andaz-e-bayaN aur mouzo dono he behtreen rahe.

Andaz-e-bayan = 4
Mouzo = 4.5

Total Marks = 8.5

4. Kanwal Hussain

Kanwal Sahiba app ki tehrer parhi aur hamesha ki tarah app k khobsurat andaz-e-bayaN k garweda hogay, app ki ye tehrer bhi buhat he khobsurat aur haseen hay start se end tak aik sehar sa bandh deti hay k bar bar parhne ko jii chahta hay. buhat si daad qabool kijiay

Andaz-e-bayaN 4.5
Mouzo =4.5

Total Marks = 9

5. Saahir

Ali zubair sahib app ne aik umdah aur khobsurat nasri nazam kahi hay buhat khushi hoi app ka kalam parh kar

Andaz-e-Bayan = 3.5
Mouzo = 4.5

Total Marks= 8

Tamam Participant ko buhat mubarak ho aur best of luck

Buhat khush Rahiay aur likhtay rahiay

Mehtab

**WanderingThoughts** · #6 04-01-2007, 09:05 AM

sab judges ka bohat bohat shukriya k unhoN ne apny qeemti waqt maiN se kuch pal nikaalay aur shurakaa-e- muqabla ki takhleeqat pr any raa'ay se aagah kiya...

abhi kuch der maiN fateh ka ailaan kr diya ja'ay ga.

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Urdu Poetry Forum

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