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Welcome to Urdu Community & Poetry/Shayari Forum
This is a discussion on ra'y shumari bra'y muqabla-e-ghazal goi (Mazahia) Dec. 07 within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; As-salam-o-alaikum Dosto! is maah Eid-ul-Azhaa ki nisbat se mazahia muqaabla-e-ghazal goi ka ehtmaam kiya gya tha, hmeiN khushi hy k ...
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#1
12-25-2007, 10:11 AM
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As-salam-o-alaikum Dosto! is maah Eid-ul-Azhaa ki nisbat se mazahia muqaabla-e-ghazal goi ka ehtmaam kiya gya tha, hmeiN khushi hy k kafi dostoN ne is muqably meiN shirkat ki... hum tamam shurka k shukr guzar haiN..  nataij ka ailan judges ke mushtarka faislay par mabni hota ga... lehaza judges say guzarish hai k woh 31st Dec. tak hmeiN apne faislay say agah kar daiN... judges har kawish ko 1-10 tak marks day saktay haiN... humaray Mohtaram judges k naam darj-e-zail haiN; (Sohail Malik, Mehtab, saahir, Zain, Kanch ki Mehroo, WanderingThoughts) Evalutaion ka criteria yeh hai; Behr aur Wazn = 4 andaaz-e-bayaN, Rawani, Takayyul, alfaaz ka ist'emal = 6 total marks = 10 muqablay maiN shamil ghazlaiN yeh haiN: 1- mujahid khan  2- autam chupke chupke raat din uska bartan manjvana yaad hai humko ab tak kaprey dhonay ka woh zamana yaad hai dopehar ki dhoop mein kaprey sukhanay kay liye woh mera kothay pay bhi nangey panv jana yaad hai Aa gaya jab sunday ki shab bhi kabhi zikr-e-shopping woh mera meri biwi say, ATM card chupana yaad hai saas sasur ki dostoN ab kiya sunaoun daastaaN sasuraal na janey ka mujhey har ik bahana yaad hai daaru pee kay jab bhi ghar mein aana para mujhey woh mera daantoN taley, ilaichi chabana yaad hai dekh liya jab bhi kabhi rastay mein kissi dusri larki ko Biwi kay ghussay ko deikh kar mera thartharana yaad hai waqt-e-rukhsat office, Ab bhi yaad aata hai mujhey biwi kay purse say car ki chaabi churana yaad hai second show deikh kar woh mera raat ko ghar dair say Aana Biwi ka ghussay say darwaza na kholna yaad hai Jub Kabhi Ittefaqan taway pey roti jal janay par woh mera tere belan say sir phatwana yaad hai Jub kabhi tujh say teree umar poochnay per who tera duppatay main Sharmana aur 34 ko 17 bata tey huey muskurana yaaad hai Apni umar chupanay kay liye who tera munnay ko peetna Aur Tujhe Mummy nahi baaji bulanay ko kahna yaad hai haftey baad hi moun utha kar meikey chalay jana tera aur mera ghar mein jharu pochaa lagana yaad hai kheench lena woh tera salary ka lifafa dafataan aur tera beauty parlor pay woh paisay urana yaad hai yaad hai begum ab bhi woh tera belan se mujhey peetna aur baad pitney kay tera woh iodex lagana yaad hai aaye din saley saliyooN ka aana ghar pay mere woh tera unkey samney mujhey murgha banana yaad hai shukr hai 'HumTum' teri shaadi nahi hui abhi shaadi shuda YarooN ka woh, rona rulana yaad hai !! 3- faridnawaz Aaj tak woh band baje shaamiyana yaad hay Khud ko itni dhoom se sooli chaRhana yaad hay Teen moqay bhi diye qazi ne GHor-o fikr ke Aaj tak who qeemati moqay gaNwana yaad hay Aik nah kafi thi her muskil se bachne ke liye hum ko haN ka faislaa who ehmaqana yaad hay ghar jise laye the hum roti pakane ke liye ab pakati hay hameN us ka pakana yaad hay nah silaee janti hay nah cooking maloom hay haN oose shohar ko ungli per nachaana yaad hay uski her ik baat per kehna hi paRta hay ‘bajaa’ is tarah ooska hameN barsoN bajana yaad hay mantay heN hum logoo hadesaa hoga shdeed kiyon keh hum ko waqeaa itna puranaa yaad hay 4- land of sorrow ye ho gaye kia haalaat SADAR sahb ik kero muj se mulakat SADAR sahb apposition ki position khatar naak hai ker do havaly jail khana jaat SADAR sahb main kum sin shaitaan kaya mashwara don aap to khud hoo bady chaalaak SADAR sahb khud he ban jaoo sadar , wazir_e_azam be nahin chayeh hamain ye wuzraat SADAR sahb mangty rahoo amrica se amdaad roozana har din hoo ap ka jumairaat SADAR sahb zindgi main kabi b wardi na utarna ta k door rahain afaat_o_billiyaat SADAR sahb hakoomat ho apki jeet koi or jaye ye kahan ki ''ikhlakiyaat'' SADAR sahb aman ka suraj nikal he ana hai akhir ho gaye hai kaafi raat SADAR sahb 5- ali4everfriend  6- Stubborn Lioness!  ------------------------------------------------- Note: ye thread sirf judges ki marking k liay hy, judges ki posts k elawa koi bhi post hui to delete kr di ja'ay gi.
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! Last edited by WanderingThoughts; 12-25-2007 at 12:38 PM.        |
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#2
01-01-2008, 07:48 AM
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As-salam-o-alaikum Dosto! ham kuch takheir k sath marking k liay hazir haiN. meri ra'ay k mutabiq members ki kawishaat ko derj-zial numbers milty haiN... 1- mujahid khan Behr aur Wazn = 0 andaaz-e-bayaN, Rawani, Takayyul, alfaaz ka ist'emal = 3 total marks = 3 ------------------------------------------------------------ 2- autam Behr aur Wazn = 0 andaaz-e-bayaN, Rawani, Takayyul, alfaaz ka ist'emal = 3 total marks = 3 ------------------------------------------------------------ 3- faridnawaz Behr aur Wazn = 3.5 (aakhir sheir k pehly misry meiN wazn ki kami mehsoos hui...) andaaz-e-bayaN, Rawani, Takayyul, alfaaz ka ist'emal = 5 total marks = 8.5 ------------------------------------------------------------ 4- land of sorrow Behr aur Wazn = 1 andaaz-e-bayaN, Rawani, Takayyul, alfaaz ka ist'emal = 3 total marks = 4 ------------------------------------------------------------ 5- ali4everfriend Behr aur Wazn = 2 andaaz-e-bayaN, Rawani, Takayyul, alfaaz ka ist'emal = 4 total marks = 6 ------------------------------------------------------------ 6- Stubborn Lioness! Behr aur Wazn = 4 andaaz-e-bayaN, Rawani, Takayyul, alfaaz ka ist'emal = 5 total marks = 9 ------------------------------------------------------------ wish u all best of luck...
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! |
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#3
01-01-2008, 09:44 AM
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mai'n tho samjha tha k yaha'n par bohot qaabil aur ustaad log hongey laikin yaha'n tho sarey ustaad he nikammey hai'n,mai'n aap sub ko jo kehta hai k meri ghazal bahar may nahi hai chalange karta hoo'n agar meri ghazal bahar may hui tho phhir iss halla gulla k website ko he bund kar dena chaahiye,merey khayal may jinn logo'n nay ye faisla dia hai unn ko sirey say ye bhi nahi maaloom k wazan aur bahar kia hoti hai aur kisi ghazal ki taqtee kaisey hoti hai |
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#4
01-01-2008, 10:27 AM
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#5
01-01-2008, 10:32 AM
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Quote:
As-salam-o-alaikum Mujahid bhai! moaaf kijiay ga Ustad logoN ne to abhi marking ki hi nahiN aur aap ne apni ghazal ki file ko pehly hi apny upload server se remove kr diya, ager aap ko meri marking pr koi eitraaz hy to usy suljhy hu'ay andaaz meiN bhi kiya ja sakta hy, is meiN asatza k bary meiN ghalat alfaaz kehny ki kya zuroorat hy... wesy ab aap kis ghazal ki baat kr rahy haiN??? ager aap ko challange hi krna tha to aap ne DivShare se apni ghazal ko remove kyuN kiya??? waiting for your reply...
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! |
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#6
01-02-2008, 03:07 AM
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ASLAAM O ALEKUM, sab se pehley to ta.kheer se aaney par ma.azarat,ke masrufiyat ki wajah se time nikaalna kaafi mushkil ho raha hai,lekin choonke hukam huwa tha is liye haazir ho gaya,is baar mukhtasaran sirf marking kar raha hoon,(waqt ki kammi ki wajah se),albata agar kissi ko koyi bhi sawaal poochhana ho to woh mujhey pm kar sakta hai,Insha Allah poori koshish rahey gi ke us sawaal ka tasali bakhsh reply de sakoon, 1.gif ")1") aatey hain marking ki tarf........ 1- mujahid khan aap ko meri tarf se total marks miltey hain....4 2- autam total marks............... 3 3- faridnawaz aap ko total marks miltey hain............7.5 aap ki ghazal ke 4,6,aor 7 sher tawajah chaahatey hain,majmooyi tor par achhi ghazal hai. 4- land of sorrow aap ke total marks.............4 5- ali4everfriend total marks............... 4 6- Stubborn Lioness! aap ke total marks...........8 aap ki ghazal achhi hai, lekin kuchh jald baazi ka shikaar lagti hai,agar aap mafhoom par thori si mazeed mehnat karti to yaqeenan bahot khoobsurat ghazal hoti. filhaal itna hi,wish u all best of luck, bahot khush rahiye,
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ra'y shumari bra'y Muqabla-e-Mazahia Ghazal ~*~Eid -ul-Azhaa Special~*~ 
