It seems that you are unregistered. Please register with us by clicking Here, or if you are already registered login here
It seems that you are unregistered. Please register with us by clicking Here, or if you are already registered login here
Welcome to Urdu Community & Poetry/Shayari Forum
This is a discussion on raa'y shumari bra'y muqabla-e-nazm goi (June 07) within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; As-salam-o-alaikum Dosto! is bar muqabla-e-nazm goi ke liye unwan tajweez kiya gya tha: Zindgi hmaiN bohat khushi hy k is ...
| |||||||
| Poetry | Video | Photo | Books | Games | Sites | Register | Groups | FAQ | Calendar | Mark Forums Read | Chat |
| Notices | |||||||||||
|
 |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools |
|
#1
06-21-2007, 10:30 PM
| |||||
| |||||
As-salam-o-alaikum Dosto! is bar muqabla-e-nazm goi ke liye unwan tajweez kiya gya tha: Zindgi hmaiN bohat khushi hy k is bar bhi hmaiN bohat si khubsurat nazmeN paRhny ko miliN... hum un tamam members ke shukar guzar haiN jinhoN ne muqablay maiN shirkat ki aur apni khubsooorat tahareer hum sab ke sath share keeN... jaisa ke aap sab ko ilm hai ke muqablay ke nataaij ka ailaan judges ke mushtarka faislay par mabni hoga...Judges say guzarish hai ke woh 30th June 2007 tak is thread maiN apne faislay say aagah karaiN...judges har nazam ko 1-10 tak marks daiNgay..aur aakhir maiN tamaam judges ke diye gaye marks ko jama kar ke hatmi nataaij ka ailaan kia jayega... hmaiN ye bta'ty huay bhi khushi mehsoos ho rahi hy k Judges k panel meiN o shakhsiaat ka izafa kiya gya hy, jin k nam ye haiN: Sohail Malik & Sahir (Ali Zubair) so is thrha judges panel meiN shamil members k naam darj-e-zail haiN: (Sohail Malik, Sahir, Ankaboot, Aik Lamha, Zain, Mehtab & WanderingThoughts) Evalutaion ka criteria yeh hai Andaz-e-beyan (5 marks) (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) mozu se insaf (5 marks) total marks = 10 muqablay maiN shamil nazmaiN yeh haiN: 1- <!-- google_ad_section_st art(weight=ignore) -->manatiq<!-- google_ad_section_en d -->  <!-- google_ad_section_en d -->------------------------------------------------ 2- <!-- google_ad_section_st art(weight=ignore) -->ArAbIaN gIrL<!-- google_ad_section_en d --> -=Zindagi is kadar=- Zindagi is kadar hamko rulati rahi Har khushi paas aane se pehle door jaati rahi Gham se naata hai shayad apna pichhle janam se Tabhi to har khushi gham mein badal jaati rahi Chaha jo kuch bhi hamne na mila hamko Ek adhoori si chahat ban ke reh gaya sab kuch Ki koshish kabhi hamne jeetne ki kuch bhi to Hamari hi kismat aa kar hamein harati rahi Lad bhi lete ham mukadar se gar koi apna hota Aur badal bhi dete ham shayad apni taqdeer ko Par bhagte rahe jis manzil ko paane ki khaatir Woh manzil bhi hamse door jaati rahi Aisa nahi ke koi nahi tha hamara yahan Har rishta hai banaya aur apnaya hamne Aur har rishte ki khaatir khud ko bhi hai mitaya hamne Par shayad kachchi reh jaati thi gaanth har rishte ki Jo thoda sa kheenchne pe hi khul jaati rahi Bahut roye hai ham hasne ke baad har waqt Aur behte bhi rahe hai yeh bewafa aansu in aankhon se Par ek yeh hansi shayad wafadar hai apni Jo has has ke har gham ko chhupaati rahi Jo has has ke har gham ko chhupaati rahi ------------------------------------------------ 3- <!-- google_ad_section_st art(weight=ignore) -->Rose4U!<!-- google_ad_section_en d -->  ------------------------------------------------ 4- <!-- google_ad_section_st art(weight=ignore) -->kanwal Hussain<!-- google_ad_section_en d -->  <!-- google_ad_section_en d -->------------------------------------------------ 5- <!-- google_ad_section_st art(weight=ignore) -->Shehr-e-Wafa<!-- google_ad_section_en d --><!-- google_ad_section_en d -->  <!-- google_ad_section_en d -->------------------------------------------------ 6- <!-- google_ad_section_st art(weight=ignore) -->TariqRaheel<!-- google_ad_section_en d --> Ye Nazam nahin mere Pegham hain Jo Ap logon k liye Sar-E-Aam hain Khoshi ho ya ho k Gham koi Pine to ZINDAGI k ye hi Jaam hain Hans k seh lo Zamane k Dard ko K baad mai to sab k liye Moat k Jaam hain Piyar, Muhabbat, Shafqat, Adab or Ibadat Jo na mane Lafz Insaniyat mehaz Ilzaam hain Rishwat, Dhoka, lootmaar or behayai krte log sab Sare-e-Aam hain Nach, Gana, Masti, Maza or Awargi Fashion k naam pr Behayai kia Musim k yehi Emaan hain Namaz, Roza or Quraan parho or Tableegh e Islaam karo Aik Sache Muslim ki ZINDAGI bas inhi chizon k Naam hain ------------------------------------------------ 7- <!-- google_ad_section_st art(weight=ignore) -->sirra<!-- google_ad_section_en d --> Aey Zindagi!!! Aey Zindagi bata de! Tu ney humko kia dia hey ? yeh khoi khoi si shamain ? yeh bujhi bujhi si raatain ? kahi un kahi si baatain ? Tujhey jeeney ki chaah main jo mili be-shumar ghaat'ain ... Aey Zindagi bata de! Tu ney humko kia dia hey ? Yeh suta suta sa chehra ? yeh toota hua sa lehja ? kuch miti hui lakeerain ? kuch ruki hui si saansain ? mili humko ja-baja jo wo hazaar- ha maat'ain ... Aey Zindagi bata de! Tu ney humko kia dia hey ? Miley humko baar-ha jo ujaar ujaar rastey ? Aik be-nishaa'n manzil , yeh thakki thakki si raah'ain ? bikhra hua sa kaajal ' yeh roi roi si ankhain ... Aey Zindagi bata de! Tu ney humko kia dia hey ? Mujhey Zindagi bata de .... ------------------------------------------------ 8- <!-- google_ad_section_st art(weight=ignore) -->bailamos_<!-- google_ad_section_en d -->  <!-- google_ad_section_en d -->------------------------------------------------ 9-<!-- google_ad_section_st art(weight=ignore) -->HijjAr<!-- google_ad_section_en d --> Zindgii tOo Ney Hamein Har ROz Naii Baat Mein Dhalla kyOu Na tOo Ney mUjhey Meri Hii Is Zaat Mein Dhalla Sehtey hAin hUm mOhabbat Mein Kaii Azaab Masalsal KyOu Khultey hAin Merey Leye dArd Key Baab Masalsal KyOu tOo Ney mUjhey Ishq Key Kharabaat Mein Dhalla KhOon e JiGger Sey Din Raat hAin Yeh Armaan Nikaltey hUm Dekhien Bhala KaiSey Khud Apni Yeh jAan Nikaltey kyOu tOo Ney Hamein Naza'a Key Azabat Mein Dhalla KyOu hUm Sey Guraizaan hAi mOun Phair Key Chalti hAi Jis Sey hAi Hamein WehShat Ussi Rang Mein dhAltii hAi kyOu Ulajhey hOye Rakhti Ho KyOu HaDShat Mein Dhalla Zindgii hUm Ney Abhe tUjh Ko Jeya Bhe To Nahii hAi hUm Ney Abhe jAam e Khyaat Peya Bhe To Nahii hAi KyOu tOo Ney Har Lamha Mera mUShkulat Mein Dhalla KyOu mUjh Ko Deya tOo Ney Bata Yeh dArd e jUdaii KyOu Meri Khushi Zindgii tUjh Ko Bhala Raas Nahii Aaii KyOu Din Ko Mere tOo Ney Siyaah Raat Mein Dhalla Kya bhOol hOii hUm Sey Jo Di tOo Ney Itni Sazaien KyOu Hijjr Mein Har Lamha KhOon Yeh Aankhien Rulaien KyOu tOo Ney Hamein AskhOun Ki BarSaat Mein Dhalla hUm Tak Na Kabhi POhnchii KyOu Yeh ViSaal Ki dOlat Zindgii tOo Ney Faqt Bakhshii mUjhey Malaal Ki dOlat KyOu tOo Ney mUjhey Bata Hijjr Key Lamhaat Mein Dhalla ------------------------------------------------ khush rahiye HG Administration ------------------------------------------------ Note: Aap tamam sathiyoN se guzarish hay kay iss thread meiN post na kijiye... Judges k ilawa kisi bhi member ki post delete kerdi jaye gi...
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! Last edited by WanderingThoughts; 06-22-2007 at 08:37 AM.         |
| The Following User Says Thank You to WanderingThoughts For This Useful Post: | ||
noon_noon (04-13-2008) | ||
|
#2
06-22-2007, 09:48 PM
| |||||
| |||||
 Goodluck to all participants 1.gif ")1") Rawani + Mozoo 1- 3.5 + 3.5 = 7 2- 3 + 3 = 6 3- 3.5 + 4 = 7.5 4- 4.5 + 4.5 = 9 5- 4.5 + 4.5 = 9 6- 3 + 3.5 = 6.5 7- 4 + 4 = 8 8- 4 + 4.5 = 8.5 9- 3.5 + 3.5 = 7 Waslam, aNkaboot.
__________________  |
| The Following User Says Thank You to Ankaboot For This Useful Post: | ||
noon_noon (04-13-2008) | ||
|
#3
06-27-2007, 05:08 PM
| |||||
| |||||
Assalam o alaekum pehlay to maiN aendah kay liay kuch tajaweez dena chahuN ga 1. behter ho ga keh nazem goi kay muqabilay kay liay pehlay hi yeh faisla ker dia jaey keh nazem aazad ho gi ya pabend. 2. ashaar ya lines ki ziada say ziada taadad per bhi pabendi lagai jaey aur meray khayal maiN ghazal maiN 8 ashaar, paband nazem maiN isaay 20 miSroN aur azad nazm maiN 20 lines tek mehdud rekhna chahihay. Is pabendi say shuara ko kam alfaaz maiN apna mafhuM bayan kernay ki terbiet bhi mil sakay gi. 3. marking system maiN 4 attributes per number dainay chahihaiN a. saakht (qafia radeef ka ehtemaam, wazen ka khayal...ghazal aur pabend nazem maiN) ( rawani ... azaad nazem maiN) b. andaz e bayan (yeni bayan ki khubsureti) c. perwaaz e takhayyal d. mozu say insaaf(nazem maiN) is muqabilay kay liay marking (rawani + mozu) 1. 2+2 = 4 2. 3+3 = 6 3. 4+4 = 8 4. 4+4.5= 8.5 5. 4.5+3.5= 8 6. 3+3 = 6 7. 3.5+2.5 =6 8 3.5+4 =7 9. 3.5+3 =6.5 sab shurakaa e muqabilah kay liay nek khwahishaat sohail malik
__________________ Sohail Malik |
| The Following User Says Thank You to sohailmalik64 For This Useful Post: | ||
noon_noon (04-13-2008) | ||
|
#4
06-28-2007, 07:10 AM
| |||||
| |||||
aaj marks daynay baitha hon to pata chala kay marks dayna to boht mushkil kaam hay.dil krta hay kay sab hi jeet jaain.sab nay khoob mahnat ki.. marks kuch yon hain: 1- 3+4= 7 2- 1+4= 5 3- 4+3.5=5 4- 4.5+4.5=9 5- 4.5+4=8.5 6- 2 + 2= 4 7- 3+4 = 7 8- 4+4 = 8 9- 3+3.5 =6.5 main aik martaba phir is muqablay kay tamam shurka ko dili mubarkbaad kay saath unhain sarahta hon kay unhon nay itni khobsorat nazmain takhleeq keen,,,jin kay kam marks hain mujhay poori umeed hay kay aainda wo is say ziyada hasil karsakain gay shukria ali zubair Last edited by saahir; 06-28-2007 at 07:12 AM. |
| The Following User Says Thank You to saahir For This Useful Post: | ||
noon_noon (04-13-2008) | ||
|
#5
06-29-2007, 09:52 PM
| |||||
| |||||
As-salam-o-alaikum Dosto! Ham bhi hazir haiN marking k sath…. Is bar bhi hmaiN “zindgi” k mozu pr bohat achi achi nazmeN paRhny ko miliN… meri raa’ay aur marking kuch youN hy: 1- manatiq Natiq bhai aap ki janib se hmaiN aik achi nazm paRhny ko mili, aap ki nazm ka musbat pehlu ye hy k is meiN aik nazm ki bunyadi khususiaat maujud haiN, yaani ibtida, dermian aur ikhtitaam… mager abhi kaei lehaz se nazm meiN behteri ki gunjaish hy, nazm meiN "mozu" k lehaaz se kami mehsoos hui, yaani zindgi se bat to kei gai hy, lekin bzat-e-khud zindgi k bary meiN kuch nahi btaya gya… abhi deger pehlo’oN pr mehnat ki zuroorat hy, jis meiN alfaaz ka chunao, aur un ka munasib ista’mal, sath hi sath misroN ki rawani shamil haiN… Aap ki nazm ko marks milty haiN: Andaaz-e-bayaN = 3 Mozu se insaaf = 3 Total marks = 6 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 2- ArAbIaN gIrL Rabi sahiba aap ne bhi aik umda kawish pesh ki, khyalaat bohat achy haiN nazm meiN lekin aap ki nazm ko bhi ager unwaan k hawaly se dekha ja’ay to kuch kami mesoos hoti hy, deger pehlo’oN meiN rawani ka masla aham hy, aur alfaaz ka behter andaaz meiN istamal bhi abhi kuch kam hy aap ki nazm meiN.... Aap ki nazm ko marks milty haiN: Andaaz-e-bayaN = 3 Mozu se insaaf = 3 Total marks = 6 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3- Rose4U! Aap ki nazm paRh kr mehsoos hua k aap ne nazm pr kafi mehnat ki hy, so aap ki nazm bhi achi rahi, lekin abhi andaaz-e-bayaN meiN behteri ki gunja’ish hy... aap ne nazm meiN aik jaga tarkeeb istamal ki “dar-haqeeqat meiN”, jo k thek nahi hy, is ka durust istamal ya to “der haqeeqat” hota hy, ya phir “haqeeqat meiN”. Aap ki nazm ko marks milty haiN: Andaaz-e-bayaN = 3.5 Mozu se insaaf = 3 Total marks = 6.5 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 4- kanwal Hussain KaNwal sahiba aap ki nazm bhi bohat umda rahi, pehli bar meiN bohat gehra taasur choRti hy ye nazm, k jesy is ki bunat-kaari esi ki gai ho k paRhny wala is k asar meiN aa ja’ay... mager ghor se paRhny pr is meiN kuch nuqaat nikalty haiN, so maiN un ki janib tawaju dilana chahuN ga, pehli bat andaaz-e-bayaN (takhatub) k hawaly se hy: aap ne likha “bta ay zindgi, tum kin saroN pr ab huma ban kr uterti ho” isi trha aagly kuch misroN ko bhi dekheN to ye ghalati nazer aati hy, ye nazm jis level ki hy, is level pr aa kr esi kotahi ki gunja’ish nahi rehti.... Dusri bat mozu se insaaf k hawaly se hy, k be-shak is nazm meiN bohat si bateN huiN, lekin nazm ko over-all dekha ja’ay to mozu k haawaly se kuch tashnagi si reti hy.... Aap ki nazm ko marks milty haiN: Andaaz-e-bayaN = 4.5 Mozu se insaaf = 3.5 Total marks = 8 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 5- Shehr-e-Wafa Aap ki nazm bhi apni jaga bohat khubsurat rahi, dilkash lafzoN se saji, apny ander bohat se maani smaity ye nazm khoob rahi... takhayul, rawani, aur misroN meiN rabt... sab umda hy, lekin kahiN kahiN misroN meiN (shayad misry ka wazn pora krny k liay) zaa’id alfaaz istamal hu’ay... Aap ki nazm ko marks milty haiN: Andaaz-e-bayaN = 4.5 Mozu se insaaf = 4 Total marks = 8.5 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 6- TariqRaheel Tariq bhai aap ki paighamaat se bhari ye nazm bhi khoob hy... lekin sirf mozu ko lafzi tor pr nazm me istamal krna hi kafi nahi hota, nazm k liay mozu aik markaz ka kaam krta hy, jis k gird nazm ghoomti hy... ap ki nazm meiN is bat ki kami nazer aaei... dusra ye k abhi alfaaz k chunao, un k munasib istamal aur misroN ki rawani meiN bhi improvement ki zuroorat hy.... Aap ki nazm ko marks milty haiN: Andaaz-e-bayaN = 3 Mozu se insaaf = 2.5 Total marks = 5.5 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 7- sirra Sirra sahiba aap ki nazm paRh kr laga k aap maiN nazm kehny ka hosla aur salahiat maujud hy, sirf kuch tawaju aur lagan ki zuroorat hy.... aap ne alfaaz ko achy andaaz meiN istamal kiya hy, lekin misroN meiN rawani abhi kuch kam hy, aur nazm ko unwan k tehat dekha ja’ay to abhi kuch kami mehsoos ho rahi hy.... Aap ki nazm ko marks milty haiN: Andaaz-e-bayaN = 3.5 Mozu se insaaf = 3 Total marks = 6.5 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 8- bailamos_ Umair bhai aap ki nazm bhi bohat achi hy, choty choty misroN meiN achy mazmon bandhy haiN aap ne... alfaaz ka chunao khoob hy, lekin in k munasib istamal meiN abhi kuch behteri ki gunjaish hy, rawani meiN bhi kuch kami nazer aaei, aur mozu k hawaly se bhi abhi ye nazm tashna hy.... Aap ki nazm ko marks milty haiN: Andaaz-e-bayaN = 3.5 Mozu se insaaf = 3 Total marks = 6.5 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 9-HijjAr Ahmad bhai zindgi se gily shikwy krti ap ki nazm bhi achi rahi, aap ki nazm ki khaas bat ye lagi k aap ne paband nazm kehny ki koshish ki, aur us meiN kafi had tak kaamyab bhi rahy... mager abhi aap ki nazm ko rawani ka masla derpesh hy, aur sath hi mozu k lehaz se bhi behtri ki gunja’ish hy... Aap ki nazm ko marks milty haiN: Andaaz-e-bayaN = 3 Mozu se insaaf = 3 Total marks = 6 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - aakhir meiN aap sab dostoN ka aik bar phir bohat shukriya k aap ne is muqably meiN hissa liya aur hmaiN itna acha kalaam paRhny ko mila.... marks kam ya ziada hona itni aham bat nahi hoti, baRi bat ye hy k aap ne participate kiya. ham aap se aainda bhi isi jazby ki tawaqu rakhty haiN.... wish u all best of luck.
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! |
| The Following User Says Thank You to WanderingThoughts For This Useful Post: | ||
noon_noon (04-13-2008) | ||
|
#6
06-30-2007, 07:31 PM
| |||||
| |||||
ASLAAM O ALEKUM, lijiye ji main bhi haazir hoon,apni raaye,aor marking ke saath, lekin is se pehley ke marking shuru karoon,munaasab samajhta hoon ke aap tamaam doston ka shukriya ada karoon,ke jin ki wasaatat se is qadar khoobsurat nazmain parney ko mileen,......yahaan yeh bhi yaad karana zaroori samjhta hoon ke in muqaabalon ka maqsad kissi ki haar ya jeet naheen,balke aek doosarey se kuchh seekhana,kuchh sikhaana hai,so..jo dost bhi jeete,ussey yeh naheen samajhna chaahiye ke ab ussey mazeed seekhaney ya mehnat karney ki zaroorat naheen rahi, .....aor jo dost kaamyaab na ho paayain,unko dil bardaashta naheen hona chaahiye,balke pehley se ziyaada mehnat karni chaahiye,ke kuchh bhi seekhaney ke liye mehnat pehli shart hai,aor ab aatey hain marking aor raaye ki tarf........... 1,Manatiq bahot achhi koshish rahi aap ki,lekin merey khayaal main abhi bahot si baaton ki tarf tawajah deney ki zaroorat hai,jesey ke.mozu ke saath insaaf,..khoobsurat alfaaz ka chunao,aor un ka behtar istamaal,aor khaas tor se wazn,yehni rawaani,......so mehnat jaari rakhiye,aor ustaad shaairon ko baghor pariye,INSHA ALLAH bahot behtari aaye gi,..merey khayaal main aap ki nazam ko jo marks miltey hain,woh darj zeil hain,....... mozu se insaaf, = 3 andaaz-e-bayaan+rawaani,=3 total marks=6 2, Arabian Girl aap ne bhi achhi koshish ki hai,aor aap ki shaairy main bahot behtari dekh raha hoon main,lekin abhi,alfaaz ke chunao,un ke munaasab istamaal,andaaz-e-bayaan main dilkashi,aor mozu ko samajhtey huye,mozu ke andar reh kar likhney ki koshish jesi baaton ki tarf tawajah deney ki zaroorat hai,so mehnat jaari rakhiye,aor ustaad shaairon ko baghor parti rahain,to INSHA ALLAH jald hi bahot achha likhney lage gi aap, aap ki nazam ko miltey hain......3+3 = 6 marks 3, Rose4u, aap ne bhi bahot achhi koshish ki,aap ki nazam is lehaaz se achhi hai ke aap ne mozu ko samajhtey huye likhney ki koshish ki,lekin khayaal ko behtar aor waazeya andaaz main paish karney,wazn,aor alfaaz ke chunao ki tarf tawajah deney ki zaroorat hai, aap ki nazam ko miltey hain,...4+3= 7 4, Kanwal Hussain aap ne bhi bahot khoobsurat nazam kahi,aor bahot achha laga aap ki nazam par ke,2/1 baatain jo main ne mehsoos ki,share kar deta hoon,......aap ki nazam yoon to bahot achhi hai,lekin chand aek maqaamaat par aap takhaatab main ikhtalaaf kar gayeen,jesey ke......aap ki nazam ka mozu hai,zindagi ae zindagi,..lekin nazam main aek jagah aap likhti hain,......sayaah dil waaley bhanwaron ne bahot de dard ho kar ,ZINDAGI ko rond daala hai,shagoofey Zindagi ke shabnami bosey ki hasrat le ke dil main,......aek aor baat jo main ne aap ki nazam main mehsoos ki,woh yeh hai ke aap ne ZINDAGI ko sirf aek rukh se,yehni sirf khushiyon ke andaaz main dekha hai,jabke ZINDAGI,dukh,aor khushi donon ka ahaata karti hai,(mera khayaal hai ke aap samajh rahi hongi ke main kaya kehna chaah raha hoon), aap ki nazam ko merey khayaal main milney chaahiye... 3.5+4.5 = 8 marks 5,Sher-e-Wafa aap ne bhi bahot khoobsurat nazam kahi,khoobsurat khayalaat se muzayyan yeh nazam bahot pasand aayi,mozu se bhi khoob insaaf kiya gaya hai,so aap se itna hi kahoon ga ke mehnat jaari rakhiye,ta ke agli nazam is se bhi ziyaada khoobsurat ho, aap ki nazam ko merey khayaal main milney chaaiye,..... mozu se insaaf, = 4 andaaz-e-bayaan+rawaani,=4.5 total marks...8.5 6, Tariq Raheel aap ne bhi achhi koshish ki hai,lekin manzil paaney ke liye abhi bahot mehnat ki zaroorat hai,so mera aap ko yahi mashwara hai ke ustaad shaairon ko ziyaada se ziyaada parain,aor samajhney ki koshish karain,ke unhon ne kaya likha,aor kesey likha,to yaqeenan aap ke kalaam main bhi bahot nikhaar aaye ga, aap ko miltey hain,.....2.5+2.5= 5 7,Sirra, ghaalban pehli baar aap ko par raha hoon,bahot achha laga aap ki nazam par ke,yaqeenan aap main likhney ki bahot salaahit mojood hain,zaroorat hai us ko saamaney laaney ki,agar aap rawaani aor alfaaz ke intakhaab,aor un ke sahee moqa par istamaal ki tarf tawaja dein to aap ki tehrooron main bahot nikhaar aa jaaye ga, meri nazar main aap ki naqzam ko miltey hain....3.5+3=6.5 8,Bailamos aap ne bhi achhi nazam kahi,lekin nazam mozu se kaafi hat kar lagi mujhey,aor rawaani main bhi kami mehsoos huyi,alfaaz ke istamaal ke tarf bhi kuchh tawajah deney ki zaroorat hai,beharhaal mehnat kartey rahiye,INSHA ALLAH behtari aaye gi, aap ki nazam ko miltey hain,... mozu se insaaf,....3 andaaz-e-bayaan....3.5 total marks...........6.5 9,Hijjr aap ne bhi paband nazam kehney ki aek achhi koshish ki hai,aor yahi is nazam ki khaas baat hai,jabke nazam main rawaani,alfaaz ka intakhaab,un ka munaasab istamaal,abhi mehnat talab hain,so mehnat kartey rahiye,INSHA ALLAH asraat jald zaahir honge, aap ki nazam ko miltey hain....3+3=6 marks aakhir main aek baar phir aap tamaam doston ki shamoliyat ke liye shukriya ada karta hoon,umeed hai ke aap tamaam dost aainda bhi apne khoobsurat kalaam se hamain mehzooz honey ka moqa inaayat farmaayain ge, bahot khush rahiye,aabaad rahiye,
__________________  |
| The Following User Says Thank You to zain For This Useful Post: | ||
noon_noon (04-13-2008) | ||
|
| Bookmarks |
| Tags |
| raay, shumari, bray, muqablaenazm, goi, june |
| Thread Tools | |
| |
Similar Threads | ||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| Major Incidents in Karachi (1986 to 2002) | Mukhshif | Discussion Corner | 15 | 11-22-2007 05:55 PM |
| Muqabla bra'ay Nazm-goi (June 07) | WanderingThoughts | Urdu Poet Club | 47 | 06-21-2007 09:28 PM |
raa'y shumari bra'y muqabla-e-nazm goi (June 07) 
