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Welcome to Urdu Community & Poetry/Shayari Forum
This is a discussion on Ra'ay shumari bra'ay muqabla-e-nazm goi (Nov. 07) within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; As-salam-o-alaikum dosto, muqabla-e-nazm goi Nov. 07 k liay nazmeN shamil krwany ka waqt khatm hua, hmeiN az-had khushi hy k ...
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#1
11-22-2007, 08:06 AM
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As-salam-o-alaikum dosto, muqabla-e-nazm goi Nov. 07 k liay nazmeN shamil krwany ka waqt khatm hua, hmeiN az-had khushi hy k is baar dostoN ne bherpur his'sa liya aur hmeiN bohat hi umda nazmeiN paRhny ko miliN... mahana muqably ka asl maqsad na'ay likhny waloN meiN behter se behter likhny ka jazba baidar krna aur purany (senior) likhny waloN ki taraf se in na'ay likhny waloN k liay misaal pesh karna hota hy... hmeiN khushi hy k is baar seniors k sath sath na'ay likhny waloN ne bhi khoob participate kiya... muqably ka faisla (jesa k aap sab ahbaab janty haiN) Judges k mushtarika faisly ki roshni meiN kiya jata h, so maiN sab judges se guzarish kruN ga k wo apni apni marking 30th Nov. 07 tak isi thread meiN post kr deN... Judges k panel meiN shamil haiN: Sohail Malik, Sahir, Zain, Kanch ki Mehroo, Mehtab & WanderingThoughts muqably meiN shamil nazmeiN derj zail haiN: 1-faridnawaz akhri sawaaal Bicharnee walee meen kab tak yoonhi;oodass sa;besahara sa sardiyoon ki yakh basta ratoon meen zindagi ki tareek rahoo par apnee mann meen tere milaan ki aass liyee tere yadoon kee deep jalaoon ore aab AKHRI bar TUM se SAWAL karta hoon iss see pehlee keh muntazir ankheen tere dedar ki tamanna meen kabhi na khulnee kooband hoo jaeen ore mere rooh!!!!! azab-e-faraq see ghabraa kar chaand na mukamal si khuwahishoon koo liyee mujh see roth kar chali jaee tumheen apni majboriyoon ki qasam tum faqat aik baar aa jaoo yee akhri sawal maan jaoo -------------------------------------------------------------- 2-denarouse AKHRI SAWAL ---------------- TUM TAHI DAMAAN SANG HATHOON MEN LIYEE KHULTEE AABB KE CHENTTEE MERE SAR GASHTA ROOH PAR DALTEE HOO MERE GESOOO PAOON TALEE LEE KAR MUJHEE KHUD SEE DOOR DHAKEELTEE HOO MERE DIL KI UN CHUEEE BULANDIYOON PAR GADRR KAR MUHABAT KEE JHANDEE MUJHEE GEHRAIYOON MEEN PHEENKTEE HOO HAR AIK SE MERA PATAA PUCH KAR MUJHEE AJNABI BANA DETEE HOO TU PHIR AIK AKHRI SAWAL HEE TUM SEE KIYA MEEN TERE SACHAIYOON KA BHARAM RAKHOON? KIYA TERE BE TABIYOON KI DASTAAN KAHOON? TERE BE QARARIYAAN KESEE BEYAAN KAROON? TERE CHAHATT KOO KIYA HARF KE JAMEE PEHNAOON? KEH MEEN NEE TU TERE ANKHOON KI BANJAR ZAMEENEEN APNEE NAAM SEE ABAD HUTEE DEKHI HEEN TERE SUKHEE LABOON PAR APNI MUSKURAHATT KI CHAMAK PARKHI HEE TERE TALASH MEEN BHATAKTI BECHAIN NAZREEN KHUD PAR QARAR PAYEE JATI HEEN TERRE ANDER UTHTI KHUHAESHOON KI CHAAP MERE MEHSOOSAAT MEEN SUNAI DETI HEE TERE SOCHOON KI ZUBAAN MERE ANDER GUNJTI HEEE TERE JAWAR BHATOON KA SHOOR MERE RAWANI MEEN TALATAM BARPA KARTA HEE TU PHIR AEE JANAM MAAN LEE YEE AKHRI SAWAL MERA ORE KAR LEE IQRAR TU BHI MERE TARHA MERE KHATIR TAHI DAMAAN HEE TU BHI -------------------------------------------------------------- 3-mujahid khan  -------------------------------------------------------------- 4- readme  -------------------------------------------------------------- 5- land of sorrow AKHRI SAWAL Bicherny waly, --------------------------------------------------------------Main kaisy bhula doon tujy Ager mil jaye kahin tu Zakham dil k dikha doon tujy Wo beety dinoo ki yaad Buhat sata'ti hai mujy Loot aaoo janaan, Meri zindgi ka nisaab tuj se hai Guzer raha hai meri jaan pe jo Sara azaab tuj se hai Ab k baras Loot aaoo na Ye mera ''AKHRI SAWAL'' tuj se hai 6- faisal_Rwp  -------------------------------------------------------------- 7- saraabs "Aakhri Sawaal" Yaad aati hai aaj tak mujh ko Us haseeN iztiraab ki lazzat Pehle pehle sawaal ki wo rut Uljhe uljhe jawaab ki lazzat Aik badle hue ta'alluq ki Aik baRhte hijaab ki lazzat Dekhte hi nazar jhuka dena Is qadar ijtinaab ki lazzat Phir hamaiN bhi khabar ye hone lagi Ham ko kitni shadeed thi chahat Aur un ko bhi, jo gurezaN the Is ta'alluq ki hogai adat Rafta rafta badal gaye wo bhi Apne saaNche main Dhal gaye wo bhi Dil ki baateN samajh maiN aane lageeN Chaand raateN samajh maiN aane lageeN ANkh main sham'a wo jalane lage Baat be baat muskurane lage Dhyan ek simt jam na pata tha Har har ahaT pe chouNk jaane lage Go nazar is taraf na uThti thi Phir bhi bewajah aane jaane lage Aaeena jo na dekhte the kabhi Kar ke kuch kuch singhaar aane lage Zindagi Ko haseeN bana Dala Ham ne mana, unheN zamane lage Pehle pehle sawaal ka ham ne Kaisa achcha jawaab paya tha Go bohot der maiN wo aya tha Per ghaTa ki tarah se chHaya tha Zindagi ki dehekti dhoop maiN wo Ek ghanera haseen saya tha Jis qadar der se wo aya tha Us qadar door tak wo chHaya tha Phir sawaal-o-jawaab baRhte gaye Apni aaNkhon ke khwaab baRhte gaye Zindagi ki kitaab maiN har din Us rifaqat ke baab baRhte gaye Par khabar kia thi, is tarah hoga Ham se dunya hi rooTh jayegi Aisa halaat ka sitam hoga ke tamanna hi rooTh jayegi Ho ke majboor ham ko dunya se Unka yuN haath chHoRna hoga Wo ta'alluq jo jaaN se baRh kar tha Us ta'alluq ko toRna hoga Wo saraapa to kaaNch jaisa tha Dil ke tukRe kahaN kahaN hoNge Itna maloom hai magar ham ko Rote hoNge jahaN jahaN hoNge Un ko kis tarah ye batate ham Dil to apna bhi TooT TooT gaya Jab kabhi yaad agai un ki Daman-e-sabr chHooT chHooT gaya Itne majboor hogaye the magar Un se ek lafz keh na sakte the Aur ilzam Daalne waale Log khamosh reh na sakte the Khud pe ilzaam ka to gham bhi na tha Unka dukh tha jo seh na sakte the Band bhi TooT TooT jaate the Aur darya bhi beh na sakte the Aaj mil jayeN to kahuN un se "Sun lo aai jaan-e-aarzoo meri Aaj ke baad kuch na poochHooNga Aakhri hai ye guftagoo meri Ab to ham tum ke ajnabi Thehre Aaj ek baat saaf kar do gi? Aakhri ek sawaal hai dil maiN Ye bata do ma'aaf kar do gi?" -------------------------------------------------------------- 8- zeename Hum tumse ek baat poochte hain beete lamho ki ek yaad poochte hain kya tumhe yaad hai wo rangeen wadiyan Mile the hum tum tumse wo mulakat poochte hain kya tum bhulgaye ho wo sunehri raatein saath jab bheege the hum tum un boondon mein Tumse mohobbat ki wo barsaat poochte hain kya kuch yaad nahi tumhe,sab kuch bhula diya wo fiza,wo khaza wo tere armaan poochte hain Yun ek pal mein hume kaise bhula diya tune Jo legayi dur,jisne juda kiya wo halaat poochte hain Humne to aaj tak intezaar k diye jalaye rakhe hain Tumhare seene mein jalayi thi khabi humne jo Us sulagti aag ka farmaan poochte hain Hume chahe bhula do tum,Mita do in lamho ko Akhri is sawal ka jawab dekar bhale chale jaao tujhse apni is mohobbat ka anjaam poochte hain -------------------------------------------------------------- 9- autam --------AKHRI SAAWAAL...!------ ager muhabat nahi kisee see tu phir sar par guzarnee wali qiyamatoon see piyar kiyoon? hameen yee kesee na yad aayee? gayee dinoo ki rafaqatoon meen bhi tum ye keh kar bichar gayee thee "hameen muhabat nahi tum see""' sooo aik mudat guzar kar bhi milee hooo hum see tu aaj bhi tum aesee sukhan meen udree huwee hoo HAMEEN MUHABAT NAHI TUM SEE tumheen muhabat nahi hum see tumhara kehna baja hee lakin tumhara chehra tumhari batoon ka sath denee see dar raha hee! tumhari ankheen keh rahi heen keh tum hijar,wasal,hijraan sabhi azaboon koo chakh chukee hoo chaloo yoonh kashakash meen akhir ye maslehat hum nee maan li hee tumheen muhabat nahi hum see mager aee zood 0 ashnayee gheraan aik AKHRI SAWAL HEE TUM SEE yee mashwara maanloo tum chaloo kisee see piyar kar loo kiyoon kee tumheen zarurat hee dosti ki tumhari matti hee piyar wali tumhara pekar hee ishq parwar tumharee hontoon meen raas buhoot hee(keh jis ka qatra bhi baas buhoot hee) tumharee pekar ki saltanat meen gharoor bhi hee supurdagi bhi tumhari ankhoon meen sagroon sa sakoot bhi hee rawaniyaan bhi woo meen nahi, na , sahi-mere jaan! kisee kee shanee tu tumbhi thamooo kisee kee dil par tu hath rakhoo kiyoon apnee pekar meen aap gum hoo kash maan jaoo mera ye AKHRI SAWAL ore khud parasti ka yee behunar aainaa badal doo kisee kooa pnee siwa bhi chahoo kisee koo dhundoo kuch iss talab see keh ablee ju qadam meen aaeen tu un ki talkhi bhi har tapak par musaftoon koo nishat bakhshee rafaqtoonkoo hayat bakhshee yee akhri sawaal hee tum koo akhir keh tum yonnhi raigaan na jaoo tum yee tarmeen-e-zaat kar loo maan jaoo yee sawaal meraa gumaan ke asmaan see utroo ------------------------------------------------------------- 10- Ik PaGla .................... .... Sahil Ke Rate Par Sang Tanhai Kay Beth Kar Ungliyon Say Rate Par Naam Tera Likh Raha Thah Aur Yadoon Kay Darpan Say Teri Sorat Mujhay Jhank Rahe Theh Teri Ankhon Ki Khamoshi Mujh Say Poch Rahe Theh Kiya Tum Ko Yaad Hae ? Kiya Tum Ko Yaad Hae ? Woh Lamha Akhri Woh Sans Akhri Wo Zindagi Ka Maeri Sawal Akhri Tumheen Mujh Say Mohab'bat Hae ? Kiya Mujh Say Mohab"bat Hae ? Haan Mujh Ko Yaad Hae Akhri Sawal ! Jo Kiya Mujh Say Thah Sans Tham Rahe Theh Lamha Akhri Thah Tumhen Mujh Say Mohab"bat Hae Kiya Mujh Say Mohab'bat Hae! Keasay Batlaon Jana! Us Aek Lamhay Main Main Ruk Sa Giya Thah Waqat Tham Sa Giya Thah Her Soch Her Yaad Say Her Sans Her Khiyal Say Zindagi Kay Guzray Howey Her Ik Saal Say Main Nay Pocha Hae? Kiya Mujh Ko Mohab'bat Hae ? Kiya Tum Say Mohab'bat Hae ? Her Ristay Her Mor Say Apnay Us Ghar Say Jis Main Sang Bitaey Thay Zindagi Kay Tamam Pal Un Chahtoon Kay Her Daor Say Main Nay Pocha Hae ? Kiya Mujh Ko Mohab'bat Hae ? Kiya Tum Say Mohab'bat Hae ? Chand Ke Chandni Say Jhil Mil Sitaroon Say Pholoon Ki Khushbo Say Dilkash Nazaroon Say Main Nay Pocha Hae ? Kiya Mujh Ko Mohab'bat Hae ? Kiya Tum Say Mohab'bat Hae ? Her Pal Mujhay Jana ! Yeh Jawab Milla Un Say ! Woh Chaht Tumhari Hae Tumhain Us Say Mohab'bat Hae Ab Tum He Kaho Jana ! Yeh Baat Haqeqat Hae Ya Hae Ik Afsana Maeri Chaht Tumhari Hae ? Mujhay Tum Say Mohab'bat Hae ? -------------------------------------------------------------- 11- Stubborn Lioness ''AAKHRI SAWAL'' KHUDA-e-Bartar karam hai tera Khalifa apna bana k Tu ney ZameeN per insaan ko utara Aqil'zahanat'fehm'im amat Dee saari makhlooq per fazilat Ye Tera insaaN barrha phir aagey Barrhey phir arman-o-khuahishen bhi Zarooraten bhi' Karamaten bhi Terey mazahir ko is ney socha K maiN bhi aesa hi ker dikhaooN Bananey phir ye chala ajoobey Naee naee ronaqen banaeeN ZameeN sey ho ker falak pey pohncha Ye jaa pohncha hai chaand per bhi Ye Tera insaaN... Tha is pey lazim Teri sannaee ki humd karta To teri nemat ka shukr hota Magar ye insaaN... Fatah k aesey nashey mein dooba Khudi mein apni 'Tujhey bhi bhoola Tabahi apni hi phir bana li K jis din Atom-Bum banaya Wo aik zarra Zara sa reza Magar jo toota'tabahi laaya Ejad is ney kiya boht kuch Phir aik din ek masheeN(computer) banai Ajab ajooba hai ye bhi is ka Khazana-e-maloomat jis meiN Jo us sey poocho'jawab aaey Magar ye dar hai... K aik din wo na aesa aaey Ye Tera insaaN Barra hi nadaN Jo us sey poochey... Mujhey bata tu K kya ''KHUDA hai?'' Ho Akhri wo sawal is ka Khalifa jis ko bana k bheja Bus aik dam ho qehr sa nazil Bikher parrey kaiinat sari Aur Akhri us sawal ka ye jawab aaey K ''Han KHUDA hai!'' Barra KHUDA hai Wo WAHDAHU LASHAREEK jis ney Tujhey banaya Qaraz tha tujh per terey Khuda ka Tu shukr karta'tu humd karta Tu Us k aagey sujood karta Magar Aey Badbakht...! Ye kya kiya hai? Barri himaqat kari hai tu ney Azeem Rub ney jo nemateN deeN Tu un k zaryey azaab laaya Tabahi paee Khasara paya! ...................! !! To sun ley ab Aey Khata k putley! Hai waqt ab bhi'bus ab sudhar ja Tu apney Rub ki taraf palatt ja Ghafoor hai Wo Raheem hai Wo Wo bakhsh dega khataeN teri Magar Aey insaaN... Bus Akhri us sawal sey dar Tu ab sudhar ja Bus ab sudhar ja K apney Rub ki mazeed kitni InayatoN ko Bhulaey ga tu...!!! -------------------------------------------------------------- 12- rubinbiswas Akharee Saawaal akharee saawal poochney tum se aya hoon janey jana suno faisala aub tum ko hi karna hai meri ess chahat ka itna kehna hai bus tum se aub bhi tum meri zindagee ho dili ehsaashat ko mery ankhono main pharney waley moh lya saadgee se merey dil ko sub se aziz ho itni tum mughey tumharey haatono main rakh di mene apni ess jaan ko dil mera muthee main band ker lo ya phir phool samajh ke esey jo guzrey nagawar tumhey tor ke dil ki patayaina ura dena kahin kisi weeraney main shaid yunhi mujey sakoon ajaye azm hai mera kar dee naam tumhrey ye zindagee aub tu mayoos na krna na rud karna mery jazbono ko ya phir maan lo ess dil ka kaha mumkin hai tumhrey es rawaye se khain main tang ho kr mar hi na jaono itney anjaan tu na bano dil ki baat ankhono main pharney waley kahbi khe na saaka ess dil ki tapkan ko tum se main janey jana koi kya janey meri ess maan ki laagan ko dil ki lagee nahi hai ye jub bhi tum se nigha milata hoon sanbhaley nahi sanmbalta ye dil girft inti mazboot hai ess ki bina tumharey rehna aub mushkil hai khud ko jala ke main apney aap ko ye maashal e jisaam laya hoon ye woh naghma hai jesy sun ke chataney bhi samandar ban jayain mubhaat ki shama haemsha apney taaq e jaan main roshan rakhna sawaal tum ko khoney ka nahi sirf tum ko chahney sirf tum ko paaney ka hai -------------------------------------------------------------- 13- RUKHSAAR AAKHRI SAWAAL IsI rEhgUzAr pAY tUm nE mUjH sE cHaHaTo'N kA aPnI iQrAaR yUn kiA tHa mUhAbBaT k sabHi rAaStO'n sE mUjHe aAsHnA kiA tHa tUm hE nE mUjH sE kAhA tHa "mUhAbBaT diL kO cHhOtI aGaR rOoH mAiN uTaR jAaYe tAu hAmEsHa ZiNdA rEhTi hAi iSi tArhA tUm bHi aB mErI sAaNsO'N mAin bAsTi hO mErI rOoH mAiN rEhtI hO" aUr uS gHaRi tUmHaRi mUhABbAt k LuMs nE mErI bHi rOoH kO cHhO LiA tHa... mAgAr tUmhArE sAfAr kI mAnZiL kiSi aUR rAaH paY tHi tUm Se pHiR wOh mEri MuLaAqAaT aAkHrI tHi uS rAaH sE aAgAy kOi rAaSta nAhi tHa pALaT jAatI bHi TaU kAiSe kOi rAHnUmA nAhI tHa ChAro'N OoR mErE sHikAsTaGi kA jAaL tHa bEhTaY hUwE aShQo'N kA RuKnA mUhAaL tHa "bInA rOoH k mAiN aB kiS tArhA'N JiYoN geE..?" uSi rEhgUzAr pAY tUmSe yE mErA aAkHrI saWaAL tHa -------------------------------------------------------------- 14- ali4everfriend  -------------------------------------------------------------- 15- sLeEpLeSs  -------------------------------------------------------------- 16- Kanwal Hussain  -------------------------------------------------------------- 17- silent_wishes Aakhri Sawal ay m'ray masoom dil ! thu kab thalak yuuN ishq maiN jalta rahay gaa yaad usay kerta rahay gaa raat din rotaa rahay gaa raastay taktaa rahay gaa ab sambhal bhee jaa ! z'ra socho ! tujay kuch aur bhi kerna hai jeevan maiN bila maqsad yuuN ronay se tujay kuch bhi nahi milna ye dunya hai barri zalim tujay barbaad kerdegi bhalaa chaaho z'ra apna ! z'ra socho ! jisay thu ne bohot chaha bhala uss ne kabhi maana ke tum uss keliay ye jaan bhi qurbaan kerdoge ke har ek kaam ka maqsad usi ka naam kerdo ge agar kehtay ho tum ke haaN usay ehsaas hai tera tho phir is jaan ki baazi laga dena usay apna bananay ki musalsal justjoo kerna tujay mil jayegaa ek din magar ye pooch lo khud se !!!! ke waaq'i ye haqeeqat hai ???? -------------------------------------------------------------- Note: ye thread sirf judges k liay lagaei gai hy, so guzarish hy k Judges k elawa koi bhi member is thread meiN post na kary, ghair-mutaliqa post ko delete kr diya ja'ay ga...
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! Last edited by WanderingThoughts; 11-23-2007 at 04:19 AM.        |
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#2
12-01-2007, 12:38 AM
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As-salam-o-aalikum Dosto!!! Muqabla-e-nazm goi (Nov. 07) ki marking k sath hazir huN, taakheir ki maazrat k sath sath is baat ki bhi maazrat chahuN ga k aap ki nazmoN pr tabsara nahiN kr paya, sirf marks hi bta raha huN, phir bhi ager koi dost chahy... k maiN us k marks ko justify kruN, to wo poch sakta hy... maiN hazir huN... filwaqt aap ki tehreeroN pr marks derj zail haiN.... 1-faridnawaz Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 3 marks mozu se insaaf = 3 marks total marks = 6 -------------------------------------------------------------- 2-denarouse Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 2.5 marks mozu se insaaf = 3 marks total marks = 5.5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 3-mujahid khan Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 2.5 marks mozu se insaaf = 3 marks total marks = 5.5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 4- readme Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 4.5 marks mozu se insaaf = 3 marks total marks = 7.5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 5- land of sorrow Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 3 marks mozu se insaaf = 3 marks total marks = 6 -------------------------------------------------------------- 6- faisal_Rwp Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 3 marks mozu se insaaf = 2.5 marks total marks = 5.5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 7- saraabs Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 4 marks mozu se insaaf = 4 marks total marks = 8 -------------------------------------------------------------- 8- zeename Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 3 marks mozu se insaaf = 3 marks total marks = 6 -------------------------------------------------------------- 9- autam Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 2.5 marks mozu se insaaf = 2.5 marks total marks = 5 ------------------------------------------------------------- 10- Ik PaGla Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 3 marks mozu se insaaf = 3.5 marks total marks = 6.5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 11- Stubborn Lioness Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 3.5 marks mozu se insaaf = 3.5 marks total marks = 7 -------------------------------------------------------------- 12- rubinbiswas Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 2.5 marks mozu se insaaf = 2.5 marks total marks = 5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 13- RUKHSAAR Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 2.5 marks mozu se insaaf = 3 marks total marks = 5.5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 14- ali4everfriend Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 2.5 marks mozu se insaaf = 3 marks total marks = 5.5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 15- sLeEpLeSs Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 4 marks mozu se insaaf = 5 marks total marks = 9 -------------------------------------------------------------- 16- Kanwal Hussain Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 4.5 marks mozu se insaaf = 4.5 marks total marks = 9 -------------------------------------------------------------- 17- silent_wishes Andaz-e-beyan (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul) = 4 marks mozu se insaaf = 4.5 marks total marks = 8.5 --------------------------------------------------------------
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! |
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#3
12-03-2007, 07:13 AM
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itnay boht saray logo nay is muqabily main shirkat ki ye yaqeenan poet club kay liya boht kamyabi ki baat hay,, muqabilay kay shurka say meri ye guzarish hay kay wo roman main likhnay say guraiz karain,,or urdu rasmulkhat main likhain..agar aap ko nahi aata to hg pr apnay friends say seekhain or un ki madad hasil karain,,q kay roman main sha,iri ka haqeeq asar roonuma nahi hopata,lafz apni soat kay saath saath sorat kay zarye bhi dil pazeer hotay hain,,to is mertba roman kay main 2 marks kaatma chahon ga,,or faizan kay layout hi pr marks dayraha hon. 1-faridnawaz boht achi koshish thi,,rawani bhi hay laikin kuch kami bhi hay.or 2 nombar roman khagae 2+3=5-------------------------------------------------------------- 2-denarouse aap nay bhi acha likha hay,,koshish krtay rahain,,rawani boht kam hay or khiyal purana hay,,or phir roman 2+3=5-------------------------------------------------------------- 3-mujahid khan 2 # to aapko urdu kay mil gaiy.. achi kahi hay per janab baat bani nahi, 2+2+2=6-------------------------------------------------------------- 4- readme is main koi shak nahi hay kay aapki nazm sab say munfarid hay.or kamal ki pukhtagi hay,khiyal bhi munfarid hay,,laikin mozo say insaaf nahi hay,,muqabilay ki ahm baat mozoo say insaaf bhi,,bahrhaal aik acha munfarid or achoota khiyaal hay..or dagar say hat kay hay.. 5+4=9-------------------------------------------------------------- 5- land of sorrow hmm janab aap ko bhi roman maar gaee.rawani to hay ,albatta khiyal boht purana hay 3+2=5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 6- faisal_Rwp achi kahi aap nay.rawani bhi hay,,pr mozo sirf misray tak hi mahdood raha,,laikin phir bhi achi nazm thi.. 3.5+35=7 -------------------------------------------------------------- 7- saraabs lutf aaya aapki taweel nazm parh kr..roman aap ko dagha day gaya,wrna kaafi mahnat ki hay aap nay,,or sab say bari baat mozzo say insaaf hay,,nuqta bana kr nazm likhi hay.. 4+3=7 -------------------------------------------------------------- 8- zeename hmm.achi koshish ki hay..sawl bhi khob poocha hay janab,,aap kay marks hain: 2+3=5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 9- autam aap ki kawish achi rahi,rawani ki kami rahi..kaheen kaheen misron nay mutaasir kiya boht,,mahnat karain..or khiyal ko naiy rang dikhaain 3+3=6------------------------------------------------------------- 10- Ik PaGla acha naam likha hay sahil ki rait pr,,aap bhi roman ki nazar hoaiy or mozo say insaaf ka pahlo bhi kamzoar raha 3+2=5 11- Stubborn Lioness aap ka khiyal or nadaz mujhay sab say ziyada pasand aaya,,rawani ki kami thi kuch,,or roman kay 2 nombar kaat tay hoaaiy mujhya yaqeenan dukh horaha hay.. 3+5=8 12- rubinbiswas aap nay bhi khoob likha,,jaari rakhain.. 3+2=5 13- RUKHSAAR boht khoob,,aap kay marks kuch yoon hain: 3+2=5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 14- ali4everfriend hmm.ali bhai achi kawish hay,,aap ka khiyal acha or tameeri hay,rawani mutaisir hay aap kay marks kuch yon hain: 3.5+4=7.5 -------------------------------------------------------------- 15- sLeEpLeSs boht achi kawish thi..or aik shir ki lazzat amaiz tishnagi boht khobsorti kay saath moajood thi..laikin dpsray logon say mawazna kay un ki tarha chup chaap holay holay bain karo gi- ye mawzna hi aakhri sawal ki bunyaad ko kamzoar bana raha hay-agar kuch mahnat or hoajati to boht hi achi nazm hoti or pooray 10 marks ki mustahiq thahrti 5+3=8------------------------------------------------------------ 16- Kanwal Hussain aap ka unwan hi boht khobsorat or mozo say insaaf krnay wala hay- aakhri sawal ko unwan main jis khobsorti say chupaya gaya hay wo khoob hay 4.5+4=8------------------------------------------------------------- 17- silent_wishes aap ki nazm bhi boht achi rahi..roman maar day gaae aap ko bhi.... 3+3=6 |
Ra'ay shumari bra'ay muqabla-e-nazm goi (Nov. 07) 
