Urdu Poetry Forum

As-salam-o-alaikum

is bar ham ne riwayat se hat kr kuch naey tarz ka muqabla terteeb diya tha, hmeiN bohat khushi hy k aap ahbaab ne is tabdeeli ko qubool krty hu'ay apni khubsurat kawishaat se is muqably ki ronaq baRhaei...

judges se derkhawst hy k wo in kawishat pr apny tabsara aur marking se hmeiN 29th Feb 08 tak aagah kr deN. aap sab janty haiN k is bar judges k panel meiN mazeed 4 judges ka izafa kiya gya hy, so is judges panel meiN shamil members k nam ye haiN:

Sohail Malik, Saraabs, Anis Hasan, Aatif Saeed, Zehrab, Mehtab, saahir, Kanch ki Mehroo & WanderingThoughts
Evalutaion ka criteria yeh hai:

Andaz-e-beyan (5 marks) (rawani, alfaz ka ista'amal, takhayyul)
manzer se insaf (5 marks)

total marks = 10

given image:


muqably meiN shamil nazmeiN aur un k takhleeq-karoN k nam ye haiN:

1- sohail2008



2- zaib_jee1

Acha Khaasa Bethey Bethey
Kahan Gum Ho Jaate Ho
Dil K Darwazey Aur Ye Khirkian
Khool K Tum
Kin Aisey Suraabon Ko Youn
Takte Rehte Hu
Kabhe Tu Bethey Bethey Tum
Yadoon K Khushk Putton Ko
Chunn Chunn Kar Ikatha Karte Hu
Bhooley Peia Ke Yaad Mei
Inn Putton Ke
Bey Rung Se Taash Banate Hu
Paani Pey Mehel Banaati Hu
Tery Saath Ye Teez Hawa Bhe
Najaaney Kaise Sooch Mei Gum Ha
Khwabeda Prindoon Ko
Darakhton Se Urra Kar....

3- mdimran_ansari

Ek manzar-e-hyat hai dekho to ghor se,
Patte khud jhar chale haein hawaon ke jor se.
Zulfon ke pech-o-khum mein hai zindagi koi,
Nazren jhuki hui karein bandage koi.
Sar-e-rah intwezar mein palkein bichhaye,
Betha hai koi ishq mein khud ko lutaye.
Ghalib ki nazar mein koi me-khane ka kona hai,
Meer ki fikr mein ghazlon ka bichhona hai.
Sayed kisi ko pa ke kahin kho diye hein aap,
Chehra yoon hi to koi chhupata nahin janab.
Parindon ke sath khelna, tanhaiyon ki kaat,
Gham-e-hijr chhupana, aap se seekhe koi janab.

4- chalatmusafir

maiNne,
pareendoN ko aNchal main jagah dee hai
aur,
zard pattoN kee tapish qaid hai mutthee main
mausam ke har rang maiN kya malboos ,
tere firaq ki seeyahee.
ghanere badaloN ki qasam lekar,
sameta hai apne baloNko
mere sar per chaaoN ki bojh hai jawan ,
aur teree aas ki subah hai,
har waqt roshan
bas ek baar mere gaam se guzar jaye tu
ke
har shoq,har inqalab ko,
tayaar hai mausam....

5- kanwal Hussain


6- *soniaa_jee*



7- amirmuaan

"khizan rut "

mosam-e-gul main jab hur taraf
phool hi phool aain nazar
log jhurmat k jhurmat chalay aatay hain
aur gulshan main aa ker unhi phoolon ki
tareef kertay howe
woh thaktay nahin
laikin
wohi phool jab
khizan rut ki taab na latay howe
zard paton k hamrah bikhar jatay hain
koi kehta nahi
ye wohi phool hain
jin ki tareef kertay howe
hum thaktay na thay
main bhi ik phool thi
jis pe aai bahar tou hur aankh main
chah thi
mairi ik nazar ki talab gar
hur nigah thi
mairi bhi tareef kertay howe
koi thakta na tha
kiun khizan rut k aanay se ye dil maira
darta na tha
laikin jab khizan rut ne aa ker bakhaira mujhay
tou sabhi ki nigah phir gai
jaisay
zard paton main shamil phoolon se sab
nigahain chura k guzar jatay hain
aaj main woh zard patay chuntay howe
sochti hon faqat
mosam-e-gul main hum jinhain
sar ki zeenat bana laitay hain
khizan rut main bikhray unhi phoolon ko
manon mitti k neechay daba daitay hain

8- land of sorrow

Ik ajnabi masoom se lerki
jo kabi kitabon main
gulab ki pattion k sath aik punkh
moor ka b rakha kerti thi,
SHAYED,
ussy kisi se muhabbat thi kabi
MAGER,
Aj uss k chahry pe udasi hai buhat
wo kala libas pehny kisi ki bewafai ka
matam ker rahi hai
suraj dobny se zara pahly
surkhi maa`ail badloon taly
taiz hava se bey khabar
wo khizan rasida patton ko chunti rahi,
agerchy toot chuky thy khawab us k
khayaloon main unhain bunti rahi
MUHABAT,GULAAB,wo MOOR punkh
sab sath ``Dhool`` gaye
teri tarah parindy be
ghar ka rasta ``Bhool`` gaye.....

9- faisal_Rwp

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Signature Removed - Image exceeds 650 px by 350 px

1- sohail2008
andaz-e-bayaN: 2
manzar say insaf: 2.5
total: 4.5


2- zaib_jee1
andaz-e-bayaN: 2
manzar say insaf: 2
total: 4


3- mdimran_ansari
andaz-e-bayaN: 2.3
manzar say insaf: 1.7
total: 4


4- chalatmusafir
andaz-e-bayaN: 2.3
manzar say insaf: 2.2
total: 4.5


5- kanwal Hussain
andaz-e-bayaN: 4.9
manzar say insaf: 5
total: 9.9

6- *soniaa_jee*
andaz-e-bayaN: 3.5
manzar say insaf: 4
total: 7.5

7- amirmuaan
andaz-e-bayaN: 2.5
manzar say insaf: 3
total: 5.5

8- land of sorrow
andaz-e-bayaN: 2.5
manzar say insaf: 2.3
total: 4.8


9- faisal_Rwp
andaz-e-bayaN: 3.5
manzar say insaf: 4.5
total: 8

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Signature Removed - Only One Image is Allowed



Tu Aik Image Remove Ker Daitay Poora Signature Q Remove Ker diya

Assalam-o-Alaikum Dosto,

Takheer ki ma'zrat. Muqabla-e-nazm goi ki marking hazir hai.

1. Sohail2008
Andaz-e-bayan=1.5
Manzar se insaaf=1
Total=2.5

2. zaib_jee1
Andaz-e-bayan=1.5
Manzar se insaaf=1.5
Total=3

3- mdimran_ansari
Andaz-e-bayan=1.5
Manzar se insaaf=1
Total=2.5

4- chalatmusafir
Andaz-e-bayan=1
Manzar se insaaf=1
Total=2

5- Kanwal Hussain
Andaz-e-bayan=5
Manzar se insaaf=4
Total=9

6-Sonia Jee
Andaz-e-bayan=3
Manzar se insaaf=2
Total=5

7- amirmuaan
Andaz-e-bayan=3
Manzar se insaaf=2
Total=5

8- land of sorrow
Andaz-e-bayan=2.5
Manzar se insaaf=2.5
Total=5

9- Faisal Rwp
Andaz-e-bayan=2
Manzar se insaaf=2
Total=4

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Adaab teri bazm ke jeenay nahiN daitay
DeewanoN ko jeenay ki tamanna to baRi hay
(Qabil Ajmeri)