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RulesThis is a discussion on nazam, Aarzoo-e-na tamaam within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; ASLAAM O ALEKUM dosto, aek taaza nazam ke saath haazir hooN,umeed hai pasand aaye gi, apni aara se zaroor aagaah ...
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#1
08-21-2008, 07:36 PM
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ASLAAM O ALEKUM dosto, aek taaza nazam ke saath haazir hooN,umeed hai pasand aaye gi, apni aara se zaroor aagaah kijiye ga,intazaar rahe ga, 1.gif ")1") bahot khush rahiye, 
__________________ Signature Removed - Image exceeds 650 px by 350 px Last edited by zain; 08-22-2008 at 08:24 AM.                  |
| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to zain For This Useful Post: | ||
Haya n (10-04-2008), ^^^Ansuu^^^ (09-26-2008) | ||
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#3
08-22-2008, 07:04 AM
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Bhai wahhhh....Zain Bhai....kamal ki nazm kahi hai hamesha ki tarah. Nazm ki jo cheez sab se ziada pasand aayee wo iski rawani hai. Poori nazm maiN kisi ek jagah bhi rawani mutassir nahiN hui hai. Ek do baateN arz karna chahta tha...ummeed hai ke aap mind nahiN kareNgay....nazm ke ander tarz-e-takhatub meri danist maiN ek hi rehna chahye....warna nazm ka husn mutassir hota hai....is nazm maiN tarz-e-takhatub mix hogaya hai jaise "tumhare husn ki tauseef maiN janaN" ke baad "tere deedaar ke da'ee", phir "tera deedaar paa jaatay" aur phir "bana kar phir teri tasweer jaan-e-jaaN" aur uske baad phir "tumheN hi roo-baroo paata" aur ikhtetaam per phir "tumhare husn ki tauseef maiN janaN". Mera khayal hai ke aap ko khud bhi mehsoos hoga ke nazm maiN "tum" aur "tu" mix hogaya hai. Ek aur ma'mooli baat ye thi ke "tere deedaar ke da'ee" ka mafhoom wazeh nahiN ho paya. Kionke "da'ee" ke maani mere mehdood ilm ke mutabiq "bulanay walay" ke haiN to phir "tere deedaar ke da'ee" kuch meaningful nahiN lagta...ya mumkin hai ke maiN apni kam fehmi maiN asl matlab na samajh pa raha hooN to bara-e-meherbaani iski wazahat farma deN. Meri danist maiN agar "tere deedaar ke da'ee" ki bajae "tere deedaar ke taalib" hota to line meaningful hojati. Aap mujh se kaheeN ziada senior aur baRay shaire haiN aur mujh se kaheeN ziada behter in cheezoN ko samajhte haiN. To agar aap munasib samjheN to nazr-e-saani kar leN. Aur agar meri koyee baat buri lagi ho to please darguzar farmaaye ga. Overall itni khubsoorat aur rawaN nazm likhne per dheroN daad aur mabarakbaad qubool kijye.....
__________________ ******************** ******************** **** Adaab teri bazm ke jeenay nahiN daitay DeewanoN ko jeenay ki tamanna to baRi hay (Qabil Ajmeri) |
| The Following User Says Thank You to Saraabs For This Useful Post: | ||
zain (08-22-2008) | ||
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#4
08-22-2008, 07:49 AM
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meri souchooN pe rehte haiN mere halaat k pehre jo koe lufz banne hi nahi daite mujhe woh kuch bhi likhne nahi daite Wah Bhai Zain wah.......kya baat he !!! kya khoob andaz he halaat ki manzar kashi ka.. bohut pasand aaya....itni dilkash nazm likhne per humari janib se bohut bohut mubarakbad aur daad qabool kijiye..........
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| The Following User Says Thank You to ikaify For This Useful Post: | ||
zain (08-22-2008) | ||
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#5
08-22-2008, 08:39 AM
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Quote:
 bahot khush rahiye, |
| The Following User Says Thank You to zain For This Useful Post: | ||
fazal khan (09-17-2008) | ||
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#7
08-22-2008, 09:04 AM
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Quote:
be had mamnoon hooN Faisal bhaahi ke aap ne na cheez ki tehreer ko pasand kiya,aor hosala afza kalmaat se nawaaza,aap jesey achha likhney waaley dostoN ke hosala afza alfaaz bahot taqwiyat detey haiN, is se bhi ziyaada khushi is baat ki huyi ke aap ne meri tehreer ko baghor paRha,aor jahaaN aap ko kami beishi ka aehsaas huwa aap ne khuley alfaaz maiN us ki nishaandahi ki,yaqeenan yahi woh cheez hai,jo maiN apne is forum maiN aor khaas tor se apni tehreeroN par dekhna chaahata hooN,ke seekhaney ka yahi behtareen tareeqa hai,is ke liye aek baar phir mamnoon hooN, aap ne "shutar gurba" ki bilkul sahee nishaandahi ki hai,darhaqeeqat is ka aehsaas mujhey nazam post karney ke baad ho gaya tha,lekin time ki kammi ki wajah se is ka kuchh na kar sakaa,beharhaal ab edit kar di hai, jahaaN tak "daa.ee" ki baat hai to arz hai ke lafz "daa.ee" bahot se mataalab maiN istamaal hota hai,jin maiN se aek "dua karney waala" aor "mud.da.aee" ke bhi haiN,aor yahaaN maiN ne isse inhee ma.anee maiN istamaal kiya hai, wesey aap ke bataaye huye ma.anee bhi sahee haiN,aor "daa.ee" ka mutbaadil bhi bura naheen hai,is muhabbat ke liye aek baar phir shukriya qabool kijiye, umeed karta hooN ke aap aainda bhi meri tehreeroN ko issi tawajah se paRhaiN ge,aor jahaan kaheeN koyi khaami nazar aaye us ki nishaandahi bhi zaroor karaiN ge,mujhey khushi ho gi, bahot khush rahiye,aabaad rahiye, |
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#8
08-22-2008, 09:08 AM
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nazam, Aarzoo-e-na tamaam 
