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Welcome to Urdu Community & Poetry/Shayari Forum
This is a discussion on mujeh tera intazar neigh hai to aur kia hai within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; ye dil beakarrar neigh hai to aur kia hai mujeh tera intazar neigh hai to aur kia hai tetllie ke ...
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#1
08-07-2007, 04:43 AM
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ye dil beakarrar neigh hai to aur kia hai mujeh tera intazar neigh hai to aur kia hai tetllie ke peroun pe kaus-e-kazah ke rang kudarat ka shahkhar neigh hai to aur kia hai awaaz dee tujeh to tu uttah ker chalie gie ab dil mera beazar neigh hai to aur kia hai tum saath ho meray to koi fekar neigh khushi ye beashumar neigh hai to aur kia hai dorie ke bawajood bhi dil ko yakeen raha ye tera eatabar neigh hai to aur kia hai Yasmin Yasi Last edited by yasmin ahmad; 08-07-2007 at 06:34 PM. Reason: mistakes         |
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#2
08-07-2007, 06:37 AM
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Quote:
bohat khoob, achi ghazal share ki hy aap ne, aap ki ghazal meiN khubsurat bat is radeeef ka intkhab hy, bohat acha radeef hy aur mujhtalif zavioN se is pr likha ja sakta hy.... aur aap ki is ghazal meiN dusri khush aaeind bat ye hy k kuch sher bilkul wazn meiN haiN, yaani aap sahi rasty pr gamzan haiN, is safar ko jari rakheN, aur her waqt kuch na kuch seekhti raheN.... aik do bateN aur bhi arz krna chahuN ga, pehly misry meiN aap ne lafz "muntazar" ghalat likha, isy "muntazar" nahi "muntazir" kehty haiN... dusra ye k ye lafz "intzaat" k ham-qaifa nahi hy, aaap khud ghor kreN, baqi qafioN pr aur matla k qafia pr... so i think aap ko matla pr nazr-e-sani krna paRy gi... dusry sher meiN aik lafz ghalat likha gya usy bhi thek kr leN, lafz "kaus-o-kazah" nahi hota, balkay kaus-e-kazah hota hy. overall ghazal paRh kr mujhy bohat acha laga, aap is se bhi behter likh sakti haiN, so behter se behtreen ki taraf safar jari rakheN, aur ham se sahre krti raheN, Allah Mola aap ko boaht ziadaa ata kary, khush raheN, aabad raheN....
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! |
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#3
08-07-2007, 11:06 AM
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very nice khush rahyee |
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#4
08-07-2007, 01:00 PM
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very nice yasmin yasi...keep it up
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#5
08-07-2007, 05:57 PM
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Hi. thank you Faizaan bahi app ne sahi kaha mujeh bhi lag raha tha ke muntazir lafz ghalat hai phir bhi galtie ho gie I am sorry ab baat hai wazan ki ke improve kia hai to hosalafazaie ka shukria khush rahian. Yasi |
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#6
08-07-2007, 06:33 PM
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Hi. Faizaan bhai mein ne ab theak ker lea hai ab batian ke theak hai thanks a lot bhut khush rahian. Yasi |
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#7
08-07-2007, 08:36 PM
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 bhaee wah Yasmeen...mashAllah bohat improve kia apne to...yeh to bohat khush aaind bat hai.. Faizan ki batoN par tawajja dijiye.. yaqeenan bohatt faida hoga.. 1.gif ")1") khush rahiye
__________________  . . . Mere dil.. Mere musaafir..! |
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#8
08-08-2007, 10:31 AM
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beautiful
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#9
08-23-2007, 07:02 AM
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Quote:
thanks a lot................. .. |
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#10
08-23-2007, 07:02 AM
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Quote:
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mujeh tera intazar neigh hai to aur kia hai 
