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muHabbatooN ka ajeeb mela bikher raha hay chahaar janib

This is a discussion on muHabbatooN ka ajeeb mela bikher raha hay chahaar janib within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; /aoa Nabeel bhai ! Ittifaaq se amain bhi kaafi din baad haazri de raha hoon,or achhaa hua sahi waqt pe ...


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  #21  
Old 04-01-2004, 09:30 PM
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/aoa Nabeel bhai!
Ittifaaq se amain bhi kaafi din baad haazri de raha hoon,or achhaa hua sahi waqt pe haazri ho gaee ,aap ki ghazal se mustafeed jo hona tha naa V nice,bohat achha laga perh k (y) yoonhi likhtay rahyye
khush rehyye n keep

Soft voice
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  #22  
Old 04-06-2004, 11:11 PM
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Default Re: muHabbatooN ka ajeeb mela bikher raha hay chahaar janib
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A'nchaL
Hmmm

Thanks for The suggestion .........@};-

Hum wazan alwaaz hi to nahin chaheay hotay hain .........her shair aik mani rakhta ho ....phir koi khayal bhi umda ho aur .baat ho to wazan bhi ho us main .........
perhnay walay ko kuch to gehrai dikhay ..........Its an Art to write a Ghazal @};-

Nazam ki ajkal Khoob amad ho rahi hai ..........mashwara kiya doon bas yeh hai k koshish say nazam nahin hoti .......jab honi hoti hai Ho jati hai .......for that U have to have a thought ....some thing special !

Aap to experienced hain U write very good apki nazmain perhi hain ...MashaAllah zabardast hoti hain ............Main to is maindan main tifl ki manind hoon abhi .
hmm

bataiN to aapki kaafi sahi haiN, magar agar aap ham.wazan alfaaz per pahlay tawajju daiN to aashista aahista Khayalaat Khud hi bantay chalay jatayhaiN, Ghazal ka sab say baRa drawback yahi hay...

meray Khyaal maiN shairee kernay say pahlay, Khaas ker Ghazal kahnay kay liea do intihaye zaroori bataiN haiN.... awwal ye kah "KHyaal" ya "taKhyuul" ho.... aur doom ye kah wazan per buhut tawajju di jaye.... sirf KHyal ya sirf wazan say koi sher buhut acha sher nahiN hota..... phir wazan meiN jitna kirdaar baqi alfaaz ka hota hay utna hi qaafia aur radeef ka hota hay....

sher kahnay say qabal apnay zehen maiN wazn aur alfaaz ka aik saancha sa banana buhut zaroori hay, jis meiN aap kay alfaaz mukammal toor per samooye ja sakaiN.... aik lafz idher ka udher ho gya to geRbeR hay...

Altaf Husain Haali kahtay haiN kah:
"qafia ka istimaal nihayeat Khushgawaar maloom hota hay, aur usko paRhnay say zabaan zyada lazzat mahsoos kerti hay... magar qafia aur Khaas.ker aisa jaisa kah shu'ra-e-ajam nay is ko nihaayat saKht qaidooN say jaar.band ker dia hay aur phir is per radeef izafa farmaye.... shair ko bila.shuba is kay faraiz anjaam dainay say baaz rakhta hay... jis tarah sanaai'.lafzi ki pabandi ma'ni ka KHoon ker daiti hay usi tarah balkah is say buhut zyada qafia ki qaid ada-e-matlab meiN faqeehi andaaz hoi hay... sha'er ko bajaye is kay kah awwal apnay zehen meiN aik Khyaal ko tarteeb day ker is kay liea alfaaz muhayya karay, sab say pahlay qaafia tajweez kerna paRta hay.... aur phir iskay munasib koi KHyaal tarteeb day ker is kay ada karnay kay liea aisay alfaaz muhayya kiea jaatay haiN jis ka sab say aKheeer juzw qafia mujawizza qaraar pa sakay...kiuN kah agar aisa na karay to mumkin hay kah KHyaal ki takmeel kay baad koi munaasib qafia baham na puhunchay aur is KHyaal say dast.bardaar hona paRay.... pas darhaqeeqat shai'r KHud KHyaal nahiN baaNdhta, balkah qaafia jis KHyaal kay baaNdhnay ki ijaazat daita hay, usi ko baandhta hay.... aksar Ghazal aur qaseedah meiN awwal aKheer misra' jis meiN qaafia baaNdha hota hay, andha dhund kisi na kisi mazmoon ka GHaR liea jata hay aur phir us kay munasib pahla misra' us per lagaya jata hay... sach ye hay kah she'r ko zyada KHushnuma bananay kay liea is meiN aik aisee qaid lagaani jis say she'r ki asleaat baaqi na rahay ba'eena aisee baat hay kah libaas ko zyaada KHush.numa bananay kay lea is ki aisee qata' rakhi jaye, jis say libaas ki i'llat-e-GHaai ya'ni aasaaish aur pardah donooN fout ho jaiN..."

umeed hay nuqta wazeh ho gya hoga....

KHush rahyea @};-
Nabeel
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  #23  
Old 04-06-2004, 11:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shagufta Saleem
wah wah Nabeel har sher lajawab hay bara hi ustadoo wala undaaz hay.. bohat sey bohat zayada daad

khush raheye
likhte raheye
/aoa

buhut shukrya shugufta jee... buhut shukrya!

magar yaqeen kijyea, baaqi sab ki taraf say to Theek hay... magar aap ki taraf say in alfaaz per mujhay buhut herat bhi hoi hay aur KHushee bhi.... herat to is waja say kah meray KHyaal meiN is meiN aisee koi baat nahiN, mahaz tuk.bandi hay... aur KHushee to zahir hay appreciation aur wo bhi itnay bhaari alfaaz meiN...

KHush rahyea @};-
Nabeel
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  #24  
Old 04-06-2004, 11:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frozen Tears
/aoa

buhut shukrya diya jee...
aap ka yahi KHuloos hi to hay jo HG per hamesha mojood rahnay per uksaata hay...

ainda bhi aapkay KHuloos ka talib rahooNga

KHush rahyea @};-
Nabeel

khush rahiyai nabeel bhai

umeed karti hoon ab aap yahan hi rahain gai kahin ghayab nahi hoongai

aur khuloos to hamesha rahai ga .....likhtai rahiyai
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  #25  
Old 04-07-2004, 03:18 AM
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@};- @};- @};-
Bahut khub.
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  #26  
Old 04-07-2004, 09:14 AM
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/weldone
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  #27  
Old 04-07-2004, 06:15 PM
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Default Re: muHabbatooN ka ajeeb mela bikher raha hay chahaar janib
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salam!
very mature ghazal both in selection of words and in thoughts....hum apnay hathoon say khawhishoon hi ki sooli pay latak rahay hain........keep sharing.
Bina Ahmed.
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  #28  
Old 04-08-2004, 11:06 AM
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Default Re: muHabbatooN ka ajeeb mela bikher raha hay chahaar janib
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salaam nabeel bhai
bahut achi ghazal likhi hey app nay mashallah
likhtay rahiyee aur bahut khush rahiyee
Allah hafiz
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  #29  
Old 04-08-2004, 11:27 AM
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Asslam-o-alaikum~!
janab bahout he umdaa likhi hay aap nay yay ghazal...jitni bar perha jayay utni he achi lagti hay..aur kafi gahrai hay is main...mujhay aik sher is ka behad pasand aya hay:

yooN chashm-e-maqtal say daikhtay haiN, nazara apny hi bai.basi ka
ham apnay hathooN say KhahishooN ki hi soolioN pay laTak gaye haiN

kush rahiyay
likhtay rahiyay..
share kertay rahiyay..
aur hamyein duaon main yad rakhiyay
tc
Allah hafiz
fe aman ALLAH
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  #30  
Old 04-08-2004, 05:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soft voice
/aoa Nabeel bhai!
Ittifaaq se amain bhi kaafi din baad haazri de raha hoon,or achhaa hua sahi waqt pe haazri ho gaee ,aap ki ghazal se mustafeed jo hona tha naa V nice,bohat achha laga perh k (y) yoonhi likhtay rahyye
khush rehyye n keep

Soft voice
/waoa janab!
ye to waisay buhut GHalat baat hay... laikin aap ki masroofiat ka mujhay ilm hay... isi liea aapka uzr qubool kiea laitay haiN.... wasiay meiN kafi Khush.qismat Thehra kah aap sahi waqt per tashreef laye... laikin aap nay is meiN koi bhi Ghalti nahiN nikali.... aapko kam.az.kam kuch tasheeh to kerni chahyea thee.....

is kay bawajood aapka bhut shukrya

Khush rahyea... aur aatay jaatay rahyea @};-
Nabeel
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