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Mitti Tha yeh Khamir .....

This is a discussion on Mitti Tha yeh Khamir ..... within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; Adaab, Zindaghi Aisi hi hia Kabhi Alfaaz Ko Zubaan nahi Milti tu kabhi Zubaan ko Alfaz, Gurbat kye iss Moosam ...


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  #1  
Old 12-16-2007, 01:03 PM
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Adaab,

Zindaghi Aisi hi hia Kabhi Alfaaz Ko Zubaan nahi Milti tu kabhi Zubaan ko Alfaz, Gurbat kye iss Moosam Mian Likhi hui yeh Ghazal App Sab Ahl-e-Sukhan Ki Nazar....



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  #2  
Old 12-16-2007, 01:52 PM
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Default Re: Mitti Tha yeh Khamir .....
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bohat achee sharing
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  #3  
Old 12-16-2007, 08:17 PM
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Default Re: Mitti Tha yeh Khamir .....
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Wah wah wah....Waqas Bhai, bohot khoob ghazal likhi hai, kamal ke khayalat laye hain aur kia hi umda andaaz-e-bayaan hai

Insaan ho kaheeN ka, kisi bhi sadi ka ho
Ye jab uTha, zameer ki awaz se uTha

Bhai wahhh, ek mukammal sachchai ko kitni umdagi aur khubsoorti se bayan kia hai

MaiN jaan looN ke kia hai mera jabr-o-akhtiaar
YaRab ye mas-ala kabhi aghaaz se uTha

Bohot hi umda, jabr-o-qadr ke hawale se tajassus ko kis khubsoorti se aap ne bayan kia hai ke be akhtiaar daad dene ko ji chahta hai, is hawale se Saleem Ahmed marhoom ka ek taweel mukalima Prof Shabnam Siddiqi ke saath Riwaet main publish hua tha, kabhi mauqa milay to zaroor dekhye ga

Is subh-e-chaman maiN aik yahi aftaab tha
Is aadmi ki laash ko aizaaz se uTha

Pehla misra nazr-e-saani ka talabgaar hai kionke wazan ka masla paida horaha hai, ghaliban alfaaz ki tareeb thori si badal den to ye theek hojayega. Doosre misray ke kia kehne hain sahab, wah wah wah, zarbul misl ban-ne ke layeq hai.

Wo abr shabnami tha ke nehla gaya wajood
Main khwab dekhta hua alfaaz se uTha

Shaire to lajawab hai, kia hi kehne hain is khayaal ke, lekin ye baat qabil-e-ghour hai ke kia "Alfaaz" ko is ghazal main bator qafia use kia ja sakta hai kionke is ke aakhir main "Zai" ki bajaye "Zoye" araha hai. Ye baat to khair koi senior behter bata sakta hai.

So kartaboN se likha gaya aik aik harf (is misre per to qurbaan hojane ka ji chahta hai)
Ummeed-e-sahar liye ek naye aijaaz se uTha

Pehla misra lajawab hai, doosre misre main phir wazan ka kuch masla hai, isko zara dekh lijye ga

Overall, itni umda ghazal likhne per dili daad aur mubarakbaad qubool karen aur isi tarah shandaar aur pur-khayaal likhte rahen ke aap jaise buland khayal bari mushkil se milte hain aur bohot bohot khush rahen
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Last edited by Saraabs; 12-16-2007 at 08:23 PM.
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  #4  
Old 12-16-2007, 09:05 PM
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salam
main khud ko is qabil nahin samjhti k itni bari soch par
kuch keh sakon....
bohat khush rahin aap aur hamesha aisa he
shandaar likhtay rahin
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  #5  
Old 12-16-2007, 10:14 PM
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wah saaheb,bahot dinon ke baad pc main aana huwa aor itni khoobsurat ghazal paRney ka maoqa mila,bahot hi khoobsurat khayalaat o alfaaz,aor bahot barjasta andaaz-e-bayaan liye yeh ghazal be had pasand aayi,so bahot si daad meri jaanib se bhi qabool kijiye,
bahot khush rahiye,likhtey rahiye,
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  #6  
Old 12-17-2007, 03:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Readme View Post
Adaab,

Zindaghi Aisi hi hia Kabhi Alfaaz Ko Zubaan nahi Milti tu kabhi Zubaan ko Alfaz, Gurbat kye iss Moosam Mian Likhi hui yeh Ghazal App Sab Ahl-e-Sukhan Ki Nazar....
Mohtaram Waqas saheb,

Aap say yeh umeed nahin thi keh kisi aur shaa'ir ki ghazal ko apni ghazal qarar day kar youn pesh karain gay aur shaa'ir bhi koyee gumnaam nahin Obaidullah Aleem jaisay shaa'ir ki ghazal. Mukammal aur dursut ghazal haazir hai.

Mitti tha main khameer teray naaz say utha
phir haft aasma'n meri parwaaz say utha

insaan ho kisi bhi sadi ka kahin ka ho
yeh jub utha zameer ki aawaz say utha

subh-e-chaman mein aik yehi aaftab tha
is aadmi ki laash ko aizaz say utha

sau kartabon say likha gaya aik aik lafz
laikin yeh jub utha kisi aijaz say utha

aye shahsawar-e-husn yeh dil hai yeh mera dil
yeh teri sarzamee'n hai qadam naaz say utha

main pooch loun keh kiya hai mera jabr-o-ikhtiar
yaarab yeh mas'ala kabhi aaghaz say utha

woh abr shabnami tha keh nehla gaya wajood
main khawab daikhta hua alfaaz say utha

shaa'ir ki aankh ka woh sitara hua aleem
qaamat mein jo qayamati andaaz say utha

Anis Hasan
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  #7  
Old 12-18-2007, 07:33 AM
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Default Re: Mitti Tha yeh Khamir .....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Readme View Post
Adaab,

Zindaghi Aisi hi hia Kabhi Alfaaz Ko Zubaan nahi Milti tu kabhi Zubaan ko Alfaz, Gurbat kye iss Moosam Mian Likhi hui yeh Ghazal App Sab Ahl-e-Sukhan Ki Nazar....

yi app ki apni ghzal hi kia batt kartay ho

please mod...........notice that..........
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  #8  
Old 12-18-2007, 09:07 AM
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waqas bhai!!!

kuch explain kreN gy???
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  #9  
Old 12-18-2007, 09:54 AM
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