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RulesThis is a discussion on Mai Rona Chahti Hun.... within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; Originally Posted by Haya n Rulex Ji Poet Club Mai'n Aap Ki Aamad Ki Mujhay Bouhat Khushi Hui... Kaawish Bhi ...
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#11
07-11-2007, 09:33 PM
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Quote:
Salam sab se pehle tou haya ap ka bay had shukria..... mai apne aik aur poetry bohat jald share karungi,... 1.gif ")1") aur Inshallah aysa hi ho...k meri poetry mai nikhaar aye...  kahayl rakhiye apna.. FeamanAllah
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#12
07-12-2007, 07:44 AM
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As-salam-o-alaikum Hunny RuleX Sahiba! aap ko Urdu Poets Club meiN khush-aamadeed umeed hy aap k sath acha waqt guzry ga. thoughts ko share krny k hawaly se to kafi achi discussion ho chuki hy, so maiN aap ki nazm pr hi kuch bat kruN ga. aap ne bohat achi nazm share ki hy, is k positive point meri nazer meiN ye haiN k is nazm meiN aap ne munfarid khyalaat pesh kiay haiN aur dusra ye k thoughts ka flow bohat acha hy... nazm k weak point ko dekheN to jo bat sab se pehly mery zehn meiN aaei wo ye k is nazm k sab se pehly misry meiN aik bat ko aap ne do bar kr diya, yaani repeate kr diya: Bund Muthi Mai Wakt ko qaid ker k, ab yahaN ager aap sirf ye likhtiN "muThi meiN waqt ko qaid kr k", to ziada behter hota, k muThi to hoti hi band hy, so jitna ho sakta hy repeatition of thought se bacheN... same yahi bat is line k sath hy: Sadiyo se kabhi jo bheegi na, kya aap bta'aiN gi k is line meiN kya chez repeate ho rahi hy??? next point ye k aik do jaga pr alfaaz ki tarteeb kharab hony se misroN ki khubsurti kam ho rahi hy... jesa k: bikhray sab hi motio ko ager isy aap aisy krtiN: "bikhry hu'ay sab motioN ko" to line paRhny meiN achi lagti. overall dekha ja'ay to aap ne aik achi nazm pesh ki hy, ager aap WithLove aur zain bhai ki batoN ko follow kreN to waqaei aap bohat kuch seekh sakti haiN... isi trha acha acha likhti raheN, aur ham se share krti raheN, Allah Mola aap ko bohat ziada ata kary, khush raheN, aabad raheN,....
__________________ ------------------------------------------------- Bedil libaas-e-zeest bohat deeda-zeb tha aur ham ne is libaas ko ulTa pehan liya... (Bedil Haidri) |
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#14
07-12-2007, 07:33 PM
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humari bazm maiN khush amadeed Hunny.. apki nazam parhi...achi lagi... khaas taur par khayalat bohat khoob rahay...aur apne bohat acha kiya share kar ke...warna hum mustaqbil ki aik khubsoorat shayera say mehroom reh jatay wohi Zaini wali bat dohraooNgi...ke khamiyoN ke liye ghabraiye nahiN...mehnat kijiye... aur mashq jari rakhiye... inshAllah nikhar aata jayega...  khush rahiye
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#15
07-12-2007, 08:04 PM
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Walaikum salam bohat shukria janab....ap k jawab ka....mujeh is he tarah ki guide chahiye thi... Sadiyo se kabhi jo bheegi na, yahan mene KABHI word ko dohraya hay...leme know if m wrong... mujeh likhna chahiye tha...sadiyo se jo bheegi na... aur wakaye mene ghalti ki likhne mai pehle shair mai...wakaye muthhi tou wese hi bund hoti hay tabhi mutthi kehlati hay..l ayenda khayal rakhungi....aur ab ap ka reply dekh ker mera dil ker raha hay k mai apni dosri poetry bhi share kerun..jo mene likhi hay acha mujeh aik baat bataye Nazam aur Ghazal mai kya difrence hay?...kya ghazal k her shair kay akhri laf dosre shair k last word jesa hota hay ?? pasandeedgi ka bay had shukria....  ap sab ko aik khaas baat batana chahti hun....mene aj tak apni poetries kisi ko dikhaye nahi lol..mujeh shamo ati hay  ya dar lagta hay k koi kya kahe ga  acha suniye...mere papers jese hi khatam hongay mai regular HG per aungi aur phir mai apni aik aur poetry share karungi..kiu mai chahti hun k apni poetry mai sudhaar laon aur us k liye mujeh apna pora dehan yahin rakhna hoga...lekin aj kel me ka net bund hay  18th july ko last paper hay plz sab dua kijye Duaon ka bay had shukria... Take Care FeamanAllah |
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#16
07-12-2007, 08:12 PM
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Quote:
shukria mehroo.............. .. nazam ko pasand kerne ka Bay had shukria... mustakbil ki shaira keh rahe hen..mujh per zimaydaria barhti ja rahi hen  aur mai koshish kerti hun ....acha likhne ki....aur behtri lane ki.....  ap k jawab ka bay had shukria... khayal rakhiye ga apna FeamanAllah |
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#17
07-12-2007, 08:20 PM
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Quote:
Salam hairat hay ap k reply mai takheer ho gayi.... sab se pehle tou pasandeedgi ka bay had shukria..... ...ab sab k replies se mujeh bohat hosla afzai mili hay.........  mai apki bay had mashkoor hun.... khayal rakhiye apna... dhair sari duaon k sath.. FeamanAllah |
Re: Mai Rona Chahti Hun.... 
Rulex Ji Poet Club Mai'n Aap Ki Aamad Ki Mujhay Bouhat Khushi Hui...
...+ )
