Urdu Poetry Forum

**sohailmalik64** · #11 06-04-2007, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asif shahzad

buhat umdha............... .....sharing

asif bhai bohat shukria

sohail

**sohailmalik64** · #12 06-04-2007, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nailahkb

bohat nice ...............

naila saheba aap ka beyhad shukria

sohail

**sohailmalik64** · #13 06-04-2007, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WanderingThoughts

As-salam-o-alaikum Sohail bhai! khoob ghazal kahi hy ap ne,
kuch sher to bohat hi achy haiN....
lutf mila tamaam ghazal paRh kr,
do dheroN daad hazir hy meri janib se bhi... qubool kreN.

faizan bhai ghazal pasand kernay ka bohat shukria

Quote:

ہر شے مرے معیار پہ پوری نہیں یہاں
جو دیکھنے کی شے ہے وہی تو دکھایئے

is sher meiN lafz "me'yaar" durust talafuz pr istamal nahi hua... is lafz k do hi'sy haiN (mei+yaar) aur jis andaz meiN ap ne istamal kiya us trha is k his'sy banty haiN (meya+r) jo k durust talafuz nahi... misal k tor pr aik sher arz krna chahuN ga (lafz mae'yaar pr ghor kijiay ga:

kuch ham tery mei'yaar pe puray nahi utry,
kuch tu bhi k mash'hoor tha jesa, nahi nikla...

so meri darkhawst hy k plz is sher pr nazr-e-sani kr leN...

is lafz kay souti taqtee maiN 3 hissay haiN (me + yaa + r) = ( 1 + 2 + 1 )

ab puray misray ki taqtee dekh lijiay

2 2 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 1 2

her shay me ray me yaa r pe puu ri n hiN ye haN

umeed hay baat saaf ho gayi ho gi

Quote:

کھل جا درِ قفس کہ ترا وقت آ گیا
نکلیں تو سیر کو ذرا پہرہ ہٹایئے

Jnab aik to is sher meiN dar-e-qafas k hawaly se "waqt aa gya" ki samajh nahi aaei... dusri bat ye k is sher meiN ager to aap ne sirf "dar-e-qafas" ko mukhatib kiya hy to grammer ki ru se sher ka aakhri lafz "hata'iay" nahi ho ga, kyuN'kay pehly sher meiN "khul ja" ka lehja taqaza krta hy k dusry sher meiN "hata" likha ja'ay...

ya shayad mein thek se sher ka mafhum nahi samajh saka...

1. pehli baat to yeh keh jo fel sadir ho raha hay wo hay 'khul ja' ab 'waqt aa gaya' command hay us fel kay saader honay kay liay jis ki dar e qafes ko aagahi di hay.

kuch afaal apnay muqererah weqt per honay hotay haiN jaisay aik khaas mudet ki qaid say rihai.

2. is sher maiN do mukhaatib haiN 1 = dar e qafes 2 = jailer

zaahir hay pehra haTanay ka hukem jail kay derwaazay ko to nahiN dia jaa sakta

is sher maiN jo kaifiet rihai ki khushi ki hay woh itni aasani say jazb nahiN ho sakti.

yeh sayyad, qafes, aseeri, rihai, jaisay alfaz in ki asel kaifiaat say guzray baghair apni taCeer bayan nahiN ker saktay. kaya khayal hay?

Quote:

baqi sari ghazal ne bohat lutf diya, khas kr ye sher:

اک خوبی جس پہ ناز رہا، میری سادگی
احباب کہہ گئے کہ اسے چھوڑ جائیے

bai wah, bohat umda sher hy, aur pehly misry ki banawat ki to kya hi bat hy, berjestgi hy is misry meiN... so Jnab itni achi ghazal share krny pr meri janib se dheroN daad qubool kreN,

aap ki pasandeedgi aur tabsiray ka bohat shukria

Wassalam

sohail malik

**sohailmalik64** · #14 06-04-2007, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WanderingThoughts

As-salam-o-alaikum Sohail bhai! khoob ghazal kahi hy ap ne,
kuch sher to bohat hi achy haiN....
lutf mila tamaam ghazal paRh kr,
do dheroN daad hazir hy meri janib se bhi... qubool kreN.

faizan bhai ghazal pasand kernay ka bohat shukria

Quote:

ہر شے مرے معیار پہ پوری نہیں یہاں
جو دیکھنے کی شے ہے وہی تو دکھایئے

is sher meiN lafz "me'yaar" durust talafuz pr istamal nahi hua... is lafz k do hi'sy haiN (mei+yaar) aur jis andaz meiN ap ne istamal kiya us trha is k his'sy banty haiN (meya+r) jo k durust talafuz nahi... misal k tor pr aik sher arz krna chahuN ga (lafz mae'yaar pr ghor kijiay ga:

kuch ham tery mei'yaar pe puray nahi utry,
kuch tu bhi k mash'hoor tha jesa, nahi nikla...

so meri darkhawst hy k plz is sher pr nazr-e-sani kr leN...

is lafz kay souti taqtee maiN 3 hissay haiN (me + yaa + r) = ( 1 + 2 + )

ab puray misray ki taqtee dekh lijiay

2 2 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 1 2

her shay me ray me yaa r pe puu ri n hiN ye haN

umeed hay baat saaf ho gayi ho gi

Quote:

کھل جا درِ قفس کہ ترا وقت آ گیا
نکلیں تو سیر کو ذرا پہرہ ہٹایئے

Jnab aik to is sher meiN dar-e-qafas k hawaly se "waqt aa gya" ki samajh nahi aaei... dusri bat ye k is sher meiN ager to aap ne sirf "dar-e-qafas" ko mukhatib kiya hy to grammer ki ru se sher ka aakhri lafz "hata'iay" nahi ho ga, kyuN'kay pehly sher meiN "khul ja" ka lehja taqaza krta hy k dusry sher meiN "hata" likha ja'ay...

ya shayad mein thek se sher ka mafhum nahi samajh saka...

1. pehli baat to yeh keh jo fel sadir ho raha hay wo hay 'khul ja' ab 'waqt aa gaya' command hay us fel kay saader honay kay liay jis ki dar e qafes ko aagahi di hay.

kuch afaal apnay muqererah weqt per honay hotay haiN jaisay aik khaas mudet ki qaid say rihai.

2. is sher maiN do mukhaatib haiN 1 = dar e qafes 2 = jailer

zaahir hay pehra haTanay ka hukem jail kay derwaazay ko to nahiN dia jaa sakta

is sher maiN jo kaifiet rihai ki khushi ki hay woh itni aasani say jazb nahiN ho sakti.

yeh sayyad, qafes, aseeri, rihai, jaisay alfaz in ki asel kaifiaat say guzray baghair apni taCeer bayan nahiN ker saktay. kaya khayal hay?

Quote:

baqi sari ghazal ne bohat lutf diya, khas kr ye sher:

اک خوبی جس پہ ناز رہا، میری سادگی
احباب کہہ گئے کہ اسے چھوڑ جائیے

bai wah, bohat umda sher hy, aur pehly misry ki banawat ki to kya hi bat hy, berjestgi hy is misry meiN... so Jnab itni achi ghazal share krny pr meri janib se dheroN daad qubool kreN,

aap ki pasandeedgi aur tabsiray ka bohat shukria

Wassalam

sohail malik

**foqiazafar** · #15 06-05-2007, 08:32 AM

Very nice , keep sharing

**waseem1g** · #16 07-02-2007, 11:23 AM

Buhat khooob .....

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