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Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna

This is a discussion on Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; Asslamualaikum, yeh meri ( 2nd Ghazal ) app sab ke aagey paish-khidmat hai. hope ke tanqeedi jaizaa liya jaye ga. ...


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Old 05-24-2004, 12:33 PM
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Default Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna
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Asslamualaikum,
yeh meri ( 2nd Ghazal ) app sab ke aagey paish-khidmat hai. hope ke tanqeedi jaizaa liya jaye ga.


khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhnaa
dil ki dharkan ko samaat ke paas aata dekhnaa

kiss tarha na phir woh meri rooh main utrey
jab uss ko samney apney, ansoo bahataa dekhnaa

chaar dinn ki yeh zindagii aur iss umar main bhi
kabhi na khud ko uss ka pyar pata dekhnaa

meri rooh main pheeli huwi khawahish hai yeh
kabhi apney liye uss ki aankhoon main pyar aata dekhnaa

( AYESHA ZULFIQAR )
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  #2  
Old 05-24-2004, 12:41 PM
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Default Re: Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna
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Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhh Great Work Well Done Keep Up The Work
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Old 05-24-2004, 12:53 PM
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Default Re: Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna
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Nice efort lovelina, kaafi acchi ghazal kahi hai aap ne, zara ashaar ke wazan per ghaur kar len ke iss shubay main behtari ki kaafi gunjaish hai.

Keep it up

Amir
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Old 05-24-2004, 09:20 PM
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Default Re: Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna
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/aoa Ayesha!

/welcome2

bohat achhi koshish hai,umda Ashaar hain,per jaisa k Aamir
ne 'Wazn' k baaray main kaha,us pe ghor kijye ga,Ummid hai
aainda bhi aap ki jaanib se or bhi achha achha parhnay ko milaiga.

Soft voice/violin
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Old 05-25-2004, 05:32 AM
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Default Re: Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna
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Assalam o alikum Ayesha!
Sab se pehlay tu HG Poets Club main KhushAmdeed /flowers. Aap ne tanqeedi jaizay ka kaha. Yahan Poets Club main tanqeed nahin kee jaati. I m goin to move ur post in Poets Cafe for that. Hope you don't mind. If you want to bring it back just PM me and I 'll move it back in Club.

Regards,

Aatif
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Old 05-25-2004, 12:47 PM
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Default Re: Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna
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Asslamualaikum,
thanks for liking my ghazal ....Aatif bhai app meri post , ( poets club ) main hi rehnay dein ...
apni eik aur ghazal bhi post ki hai main ne iss SECTION main...woh bhi app loug zaroor read ki jiye ga...uss ka title hai ( CHAHTEY HUWEY BHI UMR BHAR TERI BAN NA PAAOON GI )....and then do tell me.
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Old 05-25-2004, 12:47 PM
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Default Re: Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna
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Asslamualaikum,
thanks for liking my ghazal ....Aatif bhai app meri post , ( poets club ) main hi rehnay dein ...
apni eik aur ghazal bhi post ki hai main ne iss SECTION main...woh bhi app loug zaroor read ki jiye ga...uss ka title hai ( CHAHTEY HUWEY BHI UMR BHAR TERI BAN NA PAAOON GI )....and then do tell me.
AYESHA ZULFIQAR
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Old 05-26-2004, 07:44 AM
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Default Re: Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelina
Asslamualaikum,
thanks for liking my ghazal ....Aatif bhai app meri post , ( poets club ) main hi rehnay dein ...
apni eik aur ghazal bhi post ki hai main ne iss SECTION main...woh bhi app loug zaroor read ki jiye ga...uss ka title hai ( CHAHTEY HUWEY BHI UMR BHAR TERI BAN NA PAAOON GI )....and then do tell me.
W.Salam Ayehsa Behan!
Ager Aap chahti hain k aap kee ghazal ka critical review in friendly way liya jai tu issay kuch arsay yahan rehnay dain. Then after some time v move it back to club.
Regards,
Aatif

P.S: Inam Pa jee, Danish, Nabeel aue baaqi sab logooN se bhee guzarish hai k apnay tabsirray se nawazain.
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  #9  
Old 05-26-2004, 08:01 PM
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Default Re: Khamoosh aankhoon se ussey jata dekhna
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tanha_musafir
W.Salam Ayehsa Behan!
Ager Aap chahti hain k aap kee ghazal ka critical review in friendly way liya jai tu issay kuch arsay yahan rehnay dain. Then after some time v move it back to club.
Regards,
Aatif

P.S: Inam Pa jee, Danish, Nabeel aue baaqi sab logooN se bhee guzarish hai k apnay tabsirray se nawazain.
Atif bhai aap to do na apna tabsara pehlay .........

Lovelina .........bohat achi kawish hai apki ghazal goi kafi complicated art hai ..........hum bhi likhtay hain kabhi kabhar ..per abhi tak iski bareekiyon ko sahi say samajh naa paey hain ........
MashaAllah yahan kafi samajhdar aur zaheen sathi hain jo khoob samajhtay hain apko mashwara dain gay umeed hai ..........
aur aenda agar aap chahti hain k apki nazam/ghazal club main hi rahay to khayal rakheay ga k us main tanqeed yah islah talab naa ki jaey .....kiun k phir apki post yahan move ker di jaey gi .......club main koi apko tanqeed yah islah faraham nahin karay ga ..
Khush rahain
aur apko khushamdeed ...is chotay say ghar main .......ati jati raheay ga /hug3

Allah Hafiz .
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