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Kashmakash

This is a discussion on Kashmakash within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; Mujhay is Uljhan say nikalo koi Is ke suljhan mujhay batlao koi Sawar hon jis Kasti mein main Osay Sahil ...


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  #1  
Old 09-09-2007, 01:27 PM
*sLeEpIng BeAutY*'s Avatar
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Smile Kashmakash
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Mujhay is Uljhan say nikalo koi
Is ke suljhan mujhay batlao koi

Sawar hon jis Kasti mein main
Osay Sahil tak Puhanchao koi

Meri Uljhan b tum suljhan b tum
Is kashmakash say nikalo Koi

Kyun mangate ho sahara Sana
Is dast main kissi ka nahi koi
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  #2  
Old 09-10-2007, 05:40 PM
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Default Re: Kashmakash
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cutefairy1 View Post
Mujhay is Uljhan say niklao koi

Is ka suljhan mujhay batlao koi

Sawar hon jis Kasti mein main
Osay Sahil tak Puhanchao koi

Meri Uljhan b tum suljhan b tum
Is kashmakash say nikalo Koi

Kyun mangate ho sahara Sana

Is dast main kissi ka nahi koi
as-salam-o-alaikum fairy sahiba

achy sher kahy aap ne, thoughts khoob haiN... mager aap k sheroN meiN rawani au wazn k elawa aik do grammer ki mistakes bhi nazer aaeiN...

lafz "suljhan" moanas hota hy jabkay aap ne pehly sher k dusry misry meiN "Is ka suljhan" likha hy. yahaN "Is ki suljhan" aa'ay ga.

isi sher k pehly misry meiN ap ne aik lafz likha "niklao", ye lafz "nikalo" hota hy.

sher kehny k liay alfaaz aur grammar ka khyal rakhna bhi bohat zuroori hota hy. likhti raheN, aur rawani ki taraf tawaju deN. Allah Mola aap ko bohat zaida ata kary, khush raheN aabad raheN....
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  #3  
Old 09-10-2007, 05:49 PM
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Smile Re: Kashmakash
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WanderingThoughts View Post
as-salam-o-alaikum fairy sahiba

achy sher kahy aap ne, thoughts khoob haiN... mager aap k sheroN meiN rawani au wazn k elawa aik do grammer ki mistakes bhi nazer aaeiN...

lafz "suljhan" moanas hota hy jabkay aap ne pehly sher k dusry misry meiN "Is ka suljhan" likha hy. yahaN "Is ki suljhan" aa'ay ga.

isi sher k pehly misry meiN ap ne aik lafz likha "niklao", ye lafz "nikalo" hota hy.

sher kehny k liay alfaaz aur grammar ka khyal rakhna bhi bohat zuroori hota hy. likhti raheN, aur rawani ki taraf tawaju deN. Allah Mola aap ko bohat zaida ata kary, khush raheN aabad raheN....
Thank you so much
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  #4  
Old 09-10-2007, 10:12 PM
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Default Re: Kashmakash
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achay khayalat haiN aapke... mashq jari rakhiye..

Faizan ki batoN par ghaur kijiye.. bohat faida hoga..

khush rahiye
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Mere dil.. Mere musaafir..!
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  #5  
Old 09-12-2007, 03:17 PM
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Smile Re: Kashmakash
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kanch ki mehroo View Post


achay khayalat haiN aapke... mashq jari rakhiye..

Faizan ki batoN par ghaur kijiye.. bohat faida hoga..

khush rahiye
Sukriya..........
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  #6  
Old 09-12-2007, 07:33 PM
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Default Re: Kashmakash
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kanch ki mehroo View Post


achay khayalat haiN aapke... mashq jari rakhiye..

Faizan ki batoN par ghaur kijiye.. bohat faida hoga..

khush rahiye
azia salaam,
kaisi ho....
kuch kehna phir usse forum pe aa ke share karna yehi jazba is baat ki gawahi hai ke lagan pakki hai.....

aap ke jazbaat ko seedhe raaste pe laana ab ham sab ki zima daari ban gayi hai.. faizan ne acha mashwra diya .. .... muje khud se dar bi lagta hai apni aadat se majboor houn rah nahin sakta aur dostoon ki narazgi ka shikaar ho jata houn lekon umeed karta houn ke aap kuch seekh sakeen gi...
muje is uljhan se nikalo koi
is ki suljhan muje batlao koi

aap apna kalaam khud parheen aur muje bataeen ke uljhan hai kya ?????????

ghazal ka bunyadi wasf yeh hai ke aap ne misra aula ya matlah kaha

muje chahee pakkani hai
muje koi doodh la ke dee

issi tara pehle aap apni uljan ka zikar kareen phir us ka gila theek
apne issi khiyaal ko dobaara bandheen ke itna khiyaal rahe ke 2 misroon ke sheer mein dono misree aapis mein coresponace karte huwe mileen
dua goo
qamar
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  #7  
Old 09-12-2007, 07:42 PM
*sLeEpIng BeAutY*'s Avatar
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Smile Re: Kashmakash
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Quote:
Originally Posted by qamar94 View Post
azia salaam,
kaisi ho....
kuch kehna phir usse forum pe aa ke share karna yehi jazba is baat ki gawahi hai ke lagan pakki hai.....

aap ke jazbaat ko seedhe raaste pe laana ab ham sab ki zima daari ban gayi hai.. faizan ne acha mashwra diya .. .... muje khud se dar bi lagta hai apni aadat se majboor houn rah nahin sakta aur dostoon ki narazgi ka shikaar ho jata houn lekon umeed karta houn ke aap kuch seekh sakeen gi...
muje is uljhan se nikalo koi
is ki suljhan muje batlao koi

aap apna kalaam khud parheen aur muje bataeen ke uljhan hai kya ?????????

ghazal ka bunyadi wasf yeh hai ke aap ne misra aula ya matlah kaha

muje chahee pakkani hai
muje koi doodh la ke dee

issi tara pehle aap apni uljan ka zikar kareen phir us ka gila theek
apne issi khiyaal ko dobaara bandheen ke itna khiyaal rahe ke 2 misroon ke sheer mein dono misree aapis mein coresponace karte huwe mileen
dua goo
qamar
Qamar jee bohat sukriya RAmadan mubarik......
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  #8  
Old 09-13-2007, 04:31 AM
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Default Re: Kashmakash
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achi kavish hai .. keep writing
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