Urdu Poetry Forum

Dhoop ko saay say tabir kar lia main nay
Kashf e nayaab ko taskheer kar lia main nay

Ay hawa sham e ghariban ka azadar hun main
Phir charaghon ko bay tanvir kar lia main nay

Qatal gahon main lahoo apna bha kr mehfooz
Wirsa e parcham o shamshir kar lia main nay..

Us k kehnay pe fakat,jurm ka darja dy kar
Fikr ko qabil e taazir kar lia main nay…….

Ankh ka bheegta taweez na sookha mazhar``
Gham kay ehsas ko zanjeer kar lia main nay..

(mazhar naqvi)

very niceeeeeeeeeeeee

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Kya kehne haiN Mazhar bhai ... Waise to poorii ghazal hee kaamyaab rahii magar yeh ooper wala shair paRhker dil khush hogaya aur aanKh bhii man ho gaii

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As-salam-o-alaikum Mazhar bhai

is bar bhi aap ne khoob hi takhleeq ki hy... sabhi sheir qabil-e-sta'ish haiN , so meri janib se tamam ghazal pr dhairoN daad qubool kreN....

albat'ta radeef k wazn k bary meiN kuch confusion ka shikar huN... bra'ay mehrbani clear kr dijay ga. mera khyal hy k radeef k maqaam se behr tabdel ho rahi hy... ager aap radeef ko "kr liya maiN ne" ki baja'ay "kiya hy main nay" k sath paRheN to wazn mukamal lagta hy... mager kuch sheroN meiN tabdiliyaN krni paReN gi.. khair ye aik suggestion thi, ap yaqeenan is se behter surat nikal sakty haiN...

is sheir ka diction kamaal hy, bar bar paRha...

Us k kehnay pe fakat,jurm ka darja dy kar
Fikr ko qabil e taazir kar lia main nay…….

pehla misra hi khoob lutf de rha hy... bohat hi khoob... aur is sheir ne bhi khoob lutf diya,

Ankh ka bheegta taweez na sookha mazhar``
Gham kay ehsas ko zanjeer kar lia main nay..

is sheir pr mujhy Raam Riaz Sahab ka wo sheir yad aa gya... k

waraq-e-sang pe tehreer kreN naqsh-e-muraad,
aur behty hu'ay dariya meiN Daboo'ay ja'aiN....

Allah Taala aap ko mazeed taufeeq ata kary... likhty raheN aur ham se share krty raheN, khush raheN abad raheN

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`mohtaram bohat shukria ap nay rehnumai farmai.. bilkul baja farmaya hy is tarha karnay say misra e sani amin rwani a jaty hay magr ye bhi behr say kharij nahin hota jo istama hua hy radeef.
albata aap k nuktay main bohat jan hay isay zarur consider karun ga.
hosla afzai k liye shukria hazur\sukhi rahain abad o shad rahin
multamis e dua

`mohtaram bohat shukria ap nay rehnumai farmai.. bilkul baja farmaya hy is tarha karnay say misra e sani amin rwani a jaty hay magr ye bhi behr say kharij nahin hota jo istamal hua hy radeef.
radeef......kia hy main nay'' is waja say istamal nahin kia k is radeef (zameen) pe mere aik ghazal mojood hy.wu bhi ap ki muhbaton or chahton ke nazr kiye dyta hun zarur parhiye ga qibla
albata aap k nuktay main bohat jan hay is pay zarur nazr e sani karun ga.
hosla afzai k liye shukria hazur
abad o shad rahain
iltamas e dua

Mazhar bhai aap ka reply paRh kr bohat acha mehsoos hua... is mehfil ka maqsad bhi yahi hy k ham aik dusry k tajraby aur ilm se mustafeed ho sakeN aur apna nuqta-e-nazer bayan kr sakeN...

mujhy radeef meiN jo rukawat nazer aaei wo aap se share kr di... mager is behr meiN radeef ka aisa istamal mery li'ay naya hy, so ap se guzarish kruN ga k ap kuch tafseelan samjha deN... yaqeenan is se baqi members ko bhi sekhny ka moqa mily ga...

aap se ro-baro baat krny ko bhi jee chah raha hy, so ager munasib samjheN to mera yahoo ID messenger meiN add kr leN...

Ankh ka bheegta taweez na sookha mazhar``
Gham kay ehsas ko zanjeer kar lia main nay..
bohat he khoob janab aaj pehli bar aap ko parha hai main ne
mazeed parhnay ki khawahish peda ho gai hai...umed hai...aap ki traf
se aisay he parhnay ko milta rahay ga

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Ab os k baad laga DiL to DiL lagi hogi
Hum os pe apni mohabt tamaam kr aaye...!