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Jis gul ka bun ke khar nigabahn raha houn main

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  #1  
Old 06-18-2007, 07:39 AM
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Arrow Jis gul ka bun ke khar nigabahn raha houn main
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  #2  
Old 06-18-2007, 09:51 AM
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Default Re: Jis gul ka bun ke khar nigabahn raha houn main
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Sooli pe charh ke theek hi mansoor ne kaha

Maqtal main khoon se likh diya yazdahn raha houn main


Un ko sulla ke payar ke phooloun ke baagh mein

Raanjhe ki tarah dasht mein gerdahn raha houn main


Pather ko jis ke lams ne goher bana diya

Kha kha ke us ki thokrain nadahn raha houn main


Mangain ge Gibrael bhi junnut khuda se phir

Ye keh ke ehl-e- bait ka derbahn raha houn main
wah ...wahh....kia zabar dast likha aap ne aur in teen shairoN k khiyalaat to is qadar mufarid aur shandar hain k bar bar perhnay ko ji chahta hai likhtay rahain ...khush rahin...mazeed ka intizar rahay ga...
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MaiN apni piyaas pr raazi rahoN gi,
Miray Aanso miray ''DiL'' Ki kafaalat k liy kaafi rahiN gay...!
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  #3  
Old 06-18-2007, 10:32 AM
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Default Re: Jis gul ka bun ke khar nigabahn raha houn main
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Quote:
Originally Posted by faypal View Post
Jis gul ka bun ke khar nigabahn raha houn main
Us gul ki tarah chaak garibahn raha houn main

Laai hai kis ki maut lub-e-izrael per
Junnut mein mehwe sujda-e-insahn raha houn main

Main kaya keroun jo na keroun kantoun se dosti
Phooloun mein reh ke bhi to parishahn raha houn main

Sooli pe charh ke theek hi mansoor ne kaha
Maqtal main khoon se likh diya yazdahn raha houn main

Un ko sulla ke payar ke phooloun ke baagh mein
Raanjhe ki tarah dasht mein gerdahn raha houn main

Pather ko jis ke lams ne goher bana diya
Kha kha ke us ki thokrain nadahn raha houn main

Mangain ge Gibrael bhi junnut khuda se phir
Ye keh ke ehl-e- bait ka derbahn raha houn main

De de ke her ghareeb ke aangun ko chandni
Afzal na jane kis leay werahn raha houn main
aik aur umda ghazal share ki hy aap ne Afzal Sahab, tamaam sher hi laiq-e-sta'ish haiN... khyalaat, misroN ka baha'ao aur rhythm sab kuch hi bohat khoobsurat hy.... ye teen sher bohat pasand aa'ay... dusry sher k aakhri lafz ko thoRa tabdeel kiya hy, umeed hy aap ko garaN na guzry ga...

Main kaya keroun jo na keroun kantoun se dosti
Phooloun mein reh ke bhi to parishahn raha houn main

Sooli pe charh ke theek hi mansoor ne kiya
Maqtal main khoon se likh diya yazdahn raha houn main

De de ke her ghareeb ke aangun ko chandni
Afzal na jane kis leay werahn raha houn main

isi trha acha acha likhty raheN, aur ham se share kty raheN, Allah Mola aap ko bohat ziada ata kary, khush raheN, abad raheN.....
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tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way,
din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way,
luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way,
khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!!
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  #4  
Old 06-18-2007, 12:58 PM
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bohat khub
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  #5  
Old 06-18-2007, 02:07 PM
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Default Re: Jis gul ka bun ke khar nigabahn raha houn main
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kanwal Hussain View Post
Sooli pe charh ke theek hi mansoor ne kaha

Maqtal main khoon se likh diya yazdahn raha houn main


Un ko sulla ke payar ke phooloun ke baagh mein

Raanjhe ki tarah dasht mein gerdahn raha houn main


Pather ko jis ke lams ne goher bana diya

Kha kha ke us ki thokrain nadahn raha houn main


Mangain ge Gibrael bhi junnut khuda se phir

Ye keh ke ehl-e- bait ka derbahn raha houn main
wah ...wahh....kia zabar dast likha aap ne aur in teen shairoN k khiyalaat to is qadar mufarid aur shandar hain k bar bar perhnay ko ji chahta hai likhtay rahain ...khush rahin...mazeed ka intizar rahay ga...
Thanks for such sweet reinforcement.May you be ever smiling.
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  #6  
Old 06-18-2007, 02:16 PM
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Default Re: Jis gul ka bun ke khar nigabahn raha houn main
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WanderingThoughts View Post
aik aur umda ghazal share ki hy aap ne Afzal Sahab, tamaam sher hi laiq-e-sta'ish haiN... khyalaat, misroN ka baha'ao aur rhythm sab kuch hi bohat khoobsurat hy.... ye teen sher bohat pasand aa'ay... dusry sher k aakhri lafz ko thoRa tabdeel kiya hy, umeed hy aap ko garaN na guzry ga...

Main kaya keroun jo na keroun kantoun se dosti
Phooloun mein reh ke bhi to parishahn raha houn main

Sooli pe charh ke theek hi mansoor ne kiya
Maqtal main khoon se likh diya yazdahn raha houn main

De de ke her ghareeb ke aangun ko chandni
Afzal na jane kis leay werahn raha houn main

isi trha acha acha likhty raheN, aur ham se share kty raheN, Allah Mola aap ko bohat ziada ata kary, khush raheN, abad raheN.....
Thanks Faizan bhai........I am proud of your suggestion and I have replaced the specified word.I have no words to express my gratitude for your keen services in beautifying my artistic works.Ever.......... .. praying for you.
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  #7  
Old 06-18-2007, 05:26 PM
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Aap Ki Yeh Ghazal Bhi Mujhay Bouhat Pasand Aai...Bouhat Khushi Hoti Hay Kay PC Mai'n Masha Allah Umda Poets Mowjood Hai'n...Her Shair Apni Jagha Bouhst Umda Kaha Aap Nay...Faizan Ji Ki Tarmeem Say Ghazal Mazeed Mukammal Ho Gai...Bouhat Daad Qubool Kijiye...
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  #8  
Old 06-18-2007, 05:52 PM
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Default Re: Jis gul ka bun ke khar nigabahn raha houn main
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Originally Posted by Haya n View Post
Aap Ki Yeh Ghazal Bhi Mujhay Bouhat Pasand Aai...Bouhat Khushi Hoti Hay Kay PC Mai'n Masha Allah Umda Poets Mowjood Hai'n...Her Shair Apni Jagha Bouhst Umda Kaha Aap Nay...Faizan Ji Ki Tarmeem Say Ghazal Mazeed Mukammal Ho Gai...Bouhat Daad Qubool Kijiye...
Thanks for your inspiring words.Allah Pak aap sab khush rukhe.
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  #9  
Old 06-19-2007, 03:47 AM
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asif shahzad is a splendid one to beholdasif shahzad is a splendid one to beholdasif shahzad is a splendid one to beholdasif shahzad is a splendid one to beholdasif shahzad is a splendid one to beholdasif shahzad is a splendid one to beholdasif shahzad is a splendid one to behold
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buhat umdha sharing............. ....
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Old 06-19-2007, 04:55 AM
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aap ka munfarid andaz-e-bayan aap ki shnakht ban gaya hai.bahut achha likhte hain aap.bahut sari daad aik aur munfarid ghazal ke liye.
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