It seems that you are unregistered. Please register with us by clicking Here, or if you are already registered login here
User Name: Password:
Urdu Poetry/Shayari Forum

Urdu Poetry Forum

Welcome to Urdu Community & Poetry/Shayari Forum

 


Jana'n

This is a discussion on Jana'n within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; Originally Posted by GhazaL-E-Jana Tum jo har roz yun khwabon men chale ate ho Zulm acha hay magar is kadar ...


Go Back   Urdu Poetry/Shayari Forum > Urdu Poetry > Urdu Poet Club

Video Photo Books Games Sites Register Groups FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat [3]

Notices

Rate This Thread - Jana'n.
(0)
Thread Rating: 0 votes, average.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #11  
Old 06-02-2006, 03:58 PM
MEHTAB's Avatar
~*~Raat Ka Rahii~*~
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: HaWa K DoSh PaR
Age: 27
Posts: 10,567

Country:

Tutorials: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 1150
MEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond repute
Awards Showcase
Poet of the Month 
Total Awards: 1
Default Re: Jana'n

Quote:
Originally Posted by GhazaL-E-Jana
Tum jo har roz yun khwabon men chale ate ho
Zulm acha hay magar is kadar nahen jana地

Hukum tera tha k hum bhool kar jian tujh ko
Saaf keh dete ab ye shairi nahen jana地




Bht hi umda in 2 Lines ka tu jawab hi nhi

Mehtab Bhai bht c daad qabooL karain
Thanx jii app logon ki appreciation ne hi kuch kuch sikhaya hay
__________________




Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Submit to Yahoo!Submit to Google!Submit to Live!Submit to Facebook!Submit to Ask!Submit to StumbleUpon!Submit to Squidoo Submit to Netscape Submit to SlashDot Submit to Reddit Submit to FarkSubmit to Newsvine
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-02-2006, 06:50 PM
kanch ki mehroo's Avatar
Jheel si aankhaiN
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Jheel kinaaray
Posts: 21,136

Country:

Tutorials: 0

Thanks: 223
Thanked 117 Times in 104 Posts
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 3694
kanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond reputekanch ki mehroo has a reputation beyond repute
Awards Showcase
Writer of the Month Poet of the Month 
Total Awards: 2
Default Re: Jana'n

bohat achi kawish hai bachay @};-...bohat khoob...

chalo ab kuch islaahi bat bhi hojaye, is nazam maiN qaafiye ki kami hai, apki ghazal ka Radeef hai "nahiN janaN", Radeef say bilkul pehlay aanay wala lafz hota hai qaafiya, aap daikho ke pehlay shair maiN aapne kia qaafiya iste'maal kia :

Gar in hathon ki lakeron men tu nahen jana地

is tarha say apki ghazal ke pehlay shair ka qaadiya hai TU, ab baaqi tamam ashar ke misra-e-sani maiN aapko TU ke hi hum awaz alfaz ko qawafi banana chahiye, jaisay ke "su, bu, chu" waghaira. misal ke taur par yeh daikhiye

Gar in hathon ki lakeron men tu nahen jana地
jahaN maiN rang, baharoN maiN bu nahiN janaN

in tamam ramooz ko madd-e-nazar rakhtay huwe is ghazal ko phir say kehnay ki koshish karna.... @};-
khush raho
__________________
Signature Removed - Image exceeds 650 px by 350 px
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Submit to Yahoo!Submit to Google!Submit to Live!Submit to Facebook!Submit to Ask!Submit to StumbleUpon!Submit to Squidoo Submit to Netscape Submit to SlashDot Submit to Reddit Submit to FarkSubmit to Newsvine
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 06-02-2006, 11:01 PM
MEHTAB's Avatar
~*~Raat Ka Rahii~*~
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: HaWa K DoSh PaR
Age: 27
Posts: 10,567

Country:

Tutorials: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 1150
MEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond reputeMEHTAB has a reputation beyond repute
Awards Showcase
Poet of the Month 
Total Awards: 1
Default Re: Jana'n

Quote:
Originally Posted by kanch ki mehroo
bohat achi kawish hai bachay @};-...bohat khoob...

chalo ab kuch islaahi bat bhi hojaye, is nazam maiN qaafiye ki kami hai, apki ghazal ka Radeef hai "nahiN janaN", Radeef say bilkul pehlay aanay wala lafz hota hai qaafiya, aap daikho ke pehlay shair maiN aapne kia qaafiya iste'maal kia :

Gar in hathon ki lakeron men tu nahen jana地

is tarha say apki ghazal ke pehlay shair ka qaadiya hai TU, ab baaqi tamam ashar ke misra-e-sani maiN aapko TU ke hi hum awaz alfaz ko qawafi banana chahiye, jaisay ke "su, bu, chu" waghaira. misal ke taur par yeh daikhiye

Gar in hathon ki lakeron men tu nahen jana地
jahaN maiN rang, baharoN maiN bu nahiN janaN

in tamam ramooz ko madd-e-nazar rakhtay huwe is ghazal ko phir say kehnay ki koshish karna.... @};-
khush raho

Buhat Buhat Shukriya appi. Yehi men chahta tha k koi mujhe meri ghaltiyan batay. Thanx a lot of u. Ise bhi durust karne ki koshish karon ga aur ainda bhi khayal Rakhon ga
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Submit to Yahoo!Submit to Google!Submit to Live!Submit to Facebook!Submit to Ask!Submit to StumbleUpon!Submit to Squidoo Submit to Netscape Submit to SlashDot Submit to Reddit Submit to FarkSubmit to Newsvine
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 06-03-2006, 02:11 AM
'syed''s Avatar
Star Members
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,132

Country:

Tutorials: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 947
'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute'syed' has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Jana'n

stunning ...
bohat khoob bhai ....
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Submit to Yahoo!Submit to Google!Submit to Live!Submit to Facebook!Submit to Ask!Submit to StumbleUpon!Submit to Squidoo Submit to Netscape Submit to SlashDot Submit to Reddit Submit to FarkSubmit to Newsvine
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 06-03-2006, 02:39 AM
asifmtr's Avatar
kabhi yaado main aao
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: delhi
Age: 29
Posts: 55

Country:

Tutorials: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 105
asifmtr is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Jana'n

Hi
Salam
Bahut Khoobsurat
" Apni haaton ki lakero main bassa ley mujh ko
main hoo tera to naseeb apna bana ley mujh ko"
__________________
Hi This is ASIF Waiting for ur reply
asif.aahmad@gmail.co m
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Submit to Yahoo!Submit to Google!Submit to Live!Submit to Facebook!Submit to Ask!Submit to StumbleUpon!Submit to Squidoo Submit to Netscape Submit to SlashDot Submit to Reddit Submit to FarkSubmit to Newsvine
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 06-03-2006, 01:15 PM
*Cinderella*'s Avatar
PaGlI
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Sharjah,U.A.E
Age: 25
Posts: 1,002

Country:

Tutorials: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 612
*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of*Cinderella* has much to be proud of
Default Re: Jana'n

Tum jo har roz yun khwabon men chale ate ho
Zulm acha hay magar is kadar nahen jana地


really nice
__________________
Signature Removed - Image exceeds 650 px by 350 px
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Submit to Yahoo!Submit to Google!Submit to Live!Submit to Facebook!Submit to Ask!Submit to StumbleUpon!Submit to Squidoo Submit to Netscape Submit to SlashDot Submit to Reddit Submit to FarkSubmit to Newsvine
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 06-03-2006, 04:55 PM
SAGARKHAN's Avatar
HG Club
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: SHAHER-E-KHAYAL
Age: 31
Posts: 7,214

Country:

Tutorials: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 1174
SAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond reputeSAGARKHAN has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Jana'n

Achii Ghazal Kahii Aap Ney=d>
__________________
Signature Removed - Image exceeds 650 px by 350 px
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Submit to Yahoo!Submit to Google!Submit to Live!Submit to Facebook!Submit to Ask!Submit to StumbleUpon!Submit to Squidoo Submit to Netscape Submit to SlashDot Submit to Reddit Submit to FarkSubmit to Newsvine
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 06-03-2006, 04:59 PM
aik_dam_farigh's Avatar
Tum Mere Ho...AR
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: ~Yaado K Safar Mai.~
Posts: 11,941

Country:

Tutorials: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Nominated 1 Time in 1 Post
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 783
aik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura aboutaik_dam_farigh has a spectacular aura about
Question Re: Jana'n

:
buhat khub
kush raho dear Ameen
__________________

Ek Aah Bhari Ho Ghi Hum Ne Na Suni Ho Ghi
Jate Jate Tum Ne Awaaz Tu Di Ho Ghi


Sukh Da Koi Saa Na Avey...?
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Submit to Yahoo!Submit to Google!Submit to Live!Submit to Facebook!Submit to Ask!Submit to StumbleUpon!Submit to Squidoo Submit to Netscape Submit to SlashDot Submit to Reddit Submit to FarkSubmit to Newsvine
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 06-03-2006, 05:56 PM
T@nHa muS@F!r's Avatar
m@i oR MeRI tnHai
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: @Sk uR hE@Rt
Age: 23
Posts: 8,137

Country:

Tutorials: 0

Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts
TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 373
T@nHa muS@F!r has much to be proud ofT@nHa muS@F!r has much to be proud ofT@nHa muS@F!r has much to be proud ofT@nHa muS@F!r has much to be proud ofT@nHa muS@F!r has much to be proud ofT@nHa muS@F!r has much to be proud ofT@nHa muS@F!r has much to be proud ofT@nHa muS@F!r has much to be proud of
Default Re: Jana'n

buhat khub...........
__________________
Signature Removed - Unable to load the image
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Submit to Yahoo!Submit to Google!Submit to Live!Submit to Facebook!Submit to Ask!Submit to StumbleUpon!Submit to Squidoo Submit to Netscape Submit to SlashDot