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hum hi they khawboon ki basti....

This is a discussion on hum hi they khawboon ki basti.... within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; salam ! i want to share my humble contribution in this forum. i will like constructive criticism on your part. ...


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  #1  
Old 10-16-2003, 05:53 PM
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salam ! i want to share my humble contribution in this forum. i will like constructive criticism on your part.

undefined


HUM HI THEY KHAWBOON KI BASTI KO BASANAY WALAY
HUM HI NAY RAIT GHRAOONDOON KO BI MASMAR KIYA

JO REET EHD-E-WAFA KI HAMIN NAY DALI THI
HAMIN NAY SHEHAR-E-JAFA MAIN USAY PAMAL KIYA

IRADAY BANDHAY HUMIN NAY JAHAN BADALNAY KAY
SABAQ HAMIN NAY BUZDILI KA JUG MAIN AAM KIYA

WO JIS KAY NAAM SAY PEHCHAN THI MERI BAN MAIN
USAY KAY NAAM KO RUSWA SAR-E-BAZAR KIYA

JO JA KAY PHIR NA KABHI A SAKAY USI PAL KO
GANWAYA AUR TALAS HAMIN NAY BAR BAR KIYA.

BINA AHMED.
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  #2  
Old 10-16-2003, 06:45 PM
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nice one keep on writing
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  #3  
Old 10-16-2003, 07:35 PM
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Really Nice /flowers
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  #4  
Old 10-17-2003, 12:29 PM
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Nice attempt dear @};-
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  #5  
Old 10-17-2003, 12:39 PM
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Very nice and Mature poetry you have shared with us ..

Good to have such a good Poet among us ...

Just a little thing ... Ghazal ki khoobsoorti kay liye zaroori hay kay uss kay tamaam Juzz pooray hon ...

Aap ki ghazal bohat achi hay ... Bass aik cheez Missing hay ...

"Ghazal ka 'Matla'," (Pehla share jiss main dono misray aik hee qaafiye radeef main hotay hain )

Baaqi bohat khoobsoorat koshish hay ...


Keep writting and keep sharing ... /weldone
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Old 10-17-2003, 03:03 PM
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youn to pori ghazal hi achi hai Bina jiii....... /flower

lekin yeh mujhe bohat acha laga....... @};-

@};- JO JA KAY PHIR NA KABHI A SAKAY USI PAL KO
GANWAYA AUR TALAS HAMIN NAY BAR BAR KIYA........ @};-
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Old 10-17-2003, 07:14 PM
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<!--QuoteBegin-sLeEpLeSs+Oct 17 2003, 03:39 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr> <td>QUOTE (sLeEpLeSs @ Oct 17 2003, 03:39 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Very nice and Mature poetry you have shared with us ..

Good to have such a good Poet among us ...

Just a little thing ... Ghazal ki khoobsoorti kay liye zaroori hay kay uss kay tamaam Juzz pooray hon ...

Aap ki ghazal bohat achi hay ... Bass aik cheez Missing hay ...

"Ghazal ka 'Matla'," (Pehla share jiss main dono misray aik hee qaafiye radeef main hotay hain )

Baaqi bohat khoobsoorat koshish hay ...


Keep writting and keep sharing ... /weldone [/b][/quote]
Main sleepless ki baat say ittefaq kertay huey isay thora sa agay barhati hon , k
yeh waqai aik khobsorat koshish hai lekin isay ghazal kaha ja sakta hai agar dosray aur teesray sher k qafiey ko durust ker liya jaey ...
aap nay teenon ashare main qafia masmar , bar bar aur bazar use kiya hai agar baqi donon ashare main bhi isi qafiey ko use karain to is ghazal main koi kami nahin hai

well done bina (y)
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  #8  
Old 10-18-2003, 11:49 AM
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buhaT ACHI HAI LAIKIN THORI AUR MAHNAT KI ZAROORAT HAI
(coolyaar)
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Old 10-18-2003, 11:54 AM
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(coolyaar)
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Old 10-25-2003, 08:00 PM
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<!--QuoteBegin-sLeEpLeSs+Oct 17 2003, 03:39 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr> <td>QUOTE (sLeEpLeSs @ Oct 17 2003, 03:39 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Very nice and Mature poetry you have shared with us ..

Good to have such a good Poet among us ...

Just a little thing ... Ghazal ki khoobsoorti kay liye zaroori hay kay uss kay tamaam Juzz pooray hon ...

Aap ki ghazal bohat achi hay ... Bass aik cheez Missing hay ...

"Ghazal ka 'Matla'," (Pehla share jiss main dono misray aik hee qaafiye radeef main hotay hain )

Baaqi bohat khoobsoorat koshish hay ...


Keep writting and keep sharing ... /weldone[/b][/quote]
salam !
thanks for reading my effort and giving me a critical view .i am trying to improve my techniqes in the light of your suggestions.so keep sharing your views and suggestions,thanks.
Bina Ahmed.
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