Urdu Poetry Forum

**WanderingThoughts** · #21 05-29-2007, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by safeena

Salam,

Sab say pehlay to Ghazal ko pasand karnay kay liye bohat shukriya, kion kay mujhay abhee tak shukriya ada karna kay moqa zara kamm mila hai iss ghazal kay hawalay say, dosray yeh kay qaafia to mujhay mushkil nahee laga mein nay to aasaan samajh kay hi choose kia tha.

ab esi bhi koi bat nahi sahab!
sab ko aap ki ghazal pasand aaei hy, aur ye jo corrections haiN, ye bhi hamara piar aur khuloos zahir krti haiN... ager aap ko mushkil nai laga to aap ka baRa pan hy, mujhy to kuch kuch mushkil lag raha tha...

Quote:

Originally Posted by safeena

Bhai itifaaq keh lein ya kuch bhee jo jo ghalatian app nay bataeen hein wo mujhay pehlay say maloom hein, mein khud bhee soch raha tha kay "bandagi" wala shair nikaal hi doon phir mein nay chor dia kay waisay hi ashaar kam hein.

ary nahi yar, nikalna kyuN hy, aap masha'Alla ba'salahiat haiN,... is sher ko qabu kijiay.... Allah Mola aap ko kamyab kry,....

Quote:

Originally Posted by safeena

khirad raazi ba wada-e-fardaa wali baat bhee sahee hai, wazn kam hai, mein nay pehlay misra ko yoon kaha tha "khird ha raazi ba wada-e-farda" laikin iss say misray ki khoobsoorti khatam ho rahee thee, mein nay socha kay bina "ha" kay hi kaam chala loon, app bataiye kia kiya jaye.

to jnab misry ko itny paich-o-kham ne deN, aasan sa kr deN, jesy:

"Khirad waa'da-e-farda pr hy raazi"

aur aap ko to malum ho ga k adabi satah kr wazn ki ghalati kisi surat qubool nahi ki jati....

Quote:

Originally Posted by safeena

Accha hoa app nay "zaal" aur "zay" wali baat bata dee warna to mein nay ghor hi nahee kia tha, asal mein phonatic keyboard mein dono hi "Z" say type hotay hein, buss isi liye mistake ho gaee.

Waisay mein soch raha hoon kay kisi ustaad kay paaas 1 adh maheena laga hee loon, warna to meri harr ghazal mein mistakes zaror niklein gee aur mein kab tak islaah par kaam chalata rahoon ga.

Raza

Jnab ager is safar meiN koi raah'ber mil ja'y to wary niary ho jaty haiN... mahinoN ka safar dinoN meiN aur dinoN ka safar ghantoN meiN tay ho jata hy. wesy mera to khyaal tha k aap already kisi ustad se faiz'yaab hoN gy...

**safeena** · #22 05-29-2007, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WanderingThoughts

ab esi bhi koi bat nahi sahab!
sab ko aap ki ghazal pasand aaei hy, aur ye jo corrections haiN, ye bhi hamara piar aur khuloos zahir krti haiN... ager aap ko mushkil nai laga to aap ka baRa pan hy, mujhy to kuch kuch mushkil lag raha tha...

ary nahi yar, nikalna kyuN hy, aap masha'Alla ba'salahiat haiN,... is sher ko qabu kijiay.... Allah Mola aap ko kamyab kry,....

to jnab misry ko itny paich-o-kham ne deN, aasan sa kr deN, jesy:

"Khirad waa'da-e-farda pr hy raazi"

aur aap ko to malum ho ga k adabi satah kr wazn ki ghalati kisi surat qubool nahi ki jati....

Jnab ager is safar meiN koi raah'ber mil ja'y to wary niary ho jaty haiN... mahinoN ka safar dinoN meiN aur dinoN ka safar ghantoN meiN tay ho jata hy. wesy mera to khyaal tha k aap already kisi ustad se faiz'yaab hoN gy...

Baad az aadaab o tasleemat,

Jawab bohat khoobsorat laga, pehlay to ispar daad qubool kijeh.
Bay shak is koi shuba nahee kay app logon ki mohbbat hai jo itni arq-raizi kartay hein, humein samjhanay kay liye.
Theek hai janab koshish karta hoon kay iss shair ko qabo karon. aur "khirad" wala misra bhee change kar doon ga,
Jee haan sahee farmaya app nay wazn ki ghalati qabil-e-qubool bilkul bhee nahee hai, mein apni ghalati manta hoon.
Nahee janab app ghalat samjhein hein, mein nay kisi ustaad ki suhbat mein aaj tak waqat nahee guzara aur itni saari ghalation ki waja yahee cheez hai shayad.

waisay itni saari tabdeelion kay baad meri ghazal to kaheen kho gaee hai

Aik baar phir app ka bayhud shukriya, khush rahiye
regards,

Raza

**Ragni** · #23 05-29-2007, 03:16 PM

Bohat Umdaa ghazal . . . . .

Dated 27th GHAZAL OF the Week

V nice Poetry

**zain** · #24 05-29-2007, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by safeena

Salam,

Bhai saheb, meri ghalati hai mein manta hoon laikin ab poori appki wali kar dee hai, shair bhee poora badal dia hai, yaar thori bohat islaah kay baad to mein phir bhee keh sakta tha kay yeh ghazal meri hai, laikin bhai ab to yeh ghazal app ki ho gaee hai, so agar chahein to lay liejh ga mujhay koi aitraaz nahee hoga, kion kay itni mehnat to iss par mein nay khud bhee nahee ki thee jitni app nay.

Walekum Aslam,
arrey naheen bhaahi,aesi bi koyi baat naheen hai,ham sab yahaan seekhney ke liye aatey hain,aor koshish kartey hain ke aek doosarey se kuchh seekha jaaye,aor jo ham jaantey hain woh doosaron ko bataaya jaaye,kiyoon ke bad qismati se ham main se aksar sirf apne shoq hi ki bina par qalam uthaatey hain,aor un ko koyi bhi baaqaaida sikhaaney waala naheen,(main ne bhi jo seekha,yaheen,issi foram main,inhi doston se seekha),...so umeed karta hoon ke aap bhi hamaarey saath is kaam main aagey aayain ge,
jahaan tak aap ki is ghazal ki baat hai to yeh aap hi ki thi,aor aap hi ki hai,.....choonke ghazal waaqayi bahot khoobsurat thi,..is liye us main mujhey jo,do aek khaamiyaan nazar aayain,mujh se nazarandaaz na ho sakeen,

Quote:

Originally Posted by safeena

waisay jo misra mein na badla tha wo sahee nahee tha kia?? :(

naheen,us misrey ki wajah se sher ka husn maand par raha tha,to socha ke jab yeh khoobsurat ho sakta hai,to kiyoon na koshish ki jaaye,aap ka shukriya ke aap ne,merey alfaaz ko maan diya,..wesey yeh sirf aek tajweez thi,

Quote:

Originally Posted by safeena

yaar masla yeh hai kay taqtee seekhnay ki koshish to ki hai, parh parh kay laikin jab tak koi mujhay samnay beth kay nahee samjhaye ga aik dafa meri naqis aqal mein aanay wala kaam nahee hai yeh.

naheen kher,aap ke liye itna bhi mushkil kaam naheen hai yeh,phir bhi agar aap chaahain to main aap ki madad karney ke liye haazir hoon,,aap chaahain to mujh se PM ya YAHOO/MSN ke zariye raabata kar saktey hain,mujhey khushi ho gi agar main aap ke kissi bhi kaam aa saka to,

Quote:

Originally Posted by safeena

Waisay sachee baat bataoon itni saari ghalation kay baad to mujhay khud hee buray lagnay lagee hai yeh ghazal.

Raza Alam

arrey naheen yaar,is andaaz main naheen sochtey,....mujhey aek chhoti si baat ka jawaab dain,kaya yeh achha hota ke aap apni har takhleeq main yahi ghaltiyaan dohraatey rehtey? ya yeh achha hai ke aap ki aainda likhi jaaney waali tehreerain ghaltion aor khaamiyon se paak hon?
bahot khush rahiye,shaad o aabaad rahiye,

**safeena** · #25 05-29-2007, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zain

Walekum Aslam,
arrey naheen bhaahi,aesi bi koyi baat naheen hai,ham sab yahaan seekhney ke liye aatey hain,aor koshish kartey hain ke aek doosarey se kuchh seekha jaaye,aor jo ham jaantey hain woh doosaron ko bataaya jaaye,kiyoon ke bad qismati se ham main se aksar sirf apne shoq hi ki bina par qalam uthaatey hain,aor un ko koyi bhi baaqaaida sikhaaney waala naheen,(main ne bhi jo seekha,yaheen,issi foram main,inhi doston se seekha),...so umeed karta hoon ke aap bhi hamaarey saath is kaam main aagey aayain ge,
jahaan tak aap ki is ghazal ki baat hai to yeh aap hi ki thi,aor aap hi ki hai,.....choonke ghazal waaqayi bahot khoobsurat thi,..is liye us main mujhey jo,do aek khaamiyaan nazar aayain,mujh se nazarandaaz na ho sakeen,

naheen,us misrey ki wajah se sher ka husn maand par raha tha,to socha ke jab yeh khoobsurat ho sakta hai,to kiyoon na koshish ki jaaye,aap ka shukriya ke aap ne,merey alfaaz ko maan diya,..wesey yeh sirf aek tajweez thi,

naheen kher,aap ke liye itna bhi mushkil kaam naheen hai yeh,phir bhi agar aap chaahain to main aap ki madad karney ke liye haazir hoon,,aap chaahain to mujh se PM ya YAHOO/MSN ke zariye raabata kar saktey hain,mujhey khushi ho gi agar main aap ke kissi bhi kaam aa saka to,

arrey naheen yaar,is andaaz main naheen sochtey,....mujhey aek chhoti si baat ka jawaab dain,kaya yeh achha hota ke aap apni har takhleeq main yahi ghaltiyaan dohraatey rehtey? ya yeh achha hai ke aap ki aainda likhi jaaney waali tehreerain ghaltion aor khaamiyon se paak hon?
bahot khush rahiye,shaad o aabaad rahiye,

Salam Zain,

Appka mesg parh kay bara sukoon mila, khair jo batein mein nay likh deen theen wo sirf yoon hi likh deen theen, inshaAllah jaisay hi waqt mila to app say chat par kuch batein poochon ga.

Aur haan please meri mails dekh kar yeh bilkul mat samjhiye ga kay muhjay app logon ka ghalatiyaan pakarna accha nahee laga, bhai mein to bayhud khush hoon kam say kam agar kisi aur kay samnay parhoon ga to ghalation say to mubbarrra hogee na meri ghazal. so please aaindaa bhee yoon hi rah numaaii kartay rahiye ga app log.

Baat to appki theek hai kay, accha hai kuch seekh lein takay aagay ghalati na ho, meri koshish hogee ka agli ghazal mein iss say kam khamiyaan hoon. App ka bohat bohat shukriya, inshaAllah "Ali" nay corrections keen hein wo bhee update kar doon ga.

Maa'asalam

Raza

**mohsin naqvi** · #26 05-30-2007, 12:59 AM

wah boht khooob
aj pehli bar ap ko pada
aur boht maza aya
mashallah
boht hi kamal ki ghazal kahi ap nay
daad kabool kijiye

"HG PuNj@bI@Nz"

**shazlay** · #27 05-30-2007, 04:02 PM

v nice khubsurat kavish rahi buhat si daad qabool keray
all the best

**sawera khan** · #28 05-30-2007, 06:03 PM

Very Nice................ ......>d<

**safeena** · #29 05-31-2007, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shehr-e-Wafa

khird razi ba-wada-e-ferda
yeh dil kehta hai jo ho so abhi ho

bohat khoob safeena ji..pehli baar aapko parhne ka ittifaq hua.. bohat umdah likhte hain ..
dhair sari daad qubool kijiye

Salam,

Bohat bohat shukriya kay app ko mera kalam pasand aaya, iss mein humaray kalam ka nahee app ki nazar-e-karam ka kamal hai.

Raza Alam

**safeena** · #30 05-31-2007, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manatiq

Bohat Umda............. Bari Battain Banata Hai Yeh Waiz.....

Bohat Hi Khoob......

Thank you so much

Urdu Poetry Forum

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