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Welcome to Urdu Community & Poetry/Shayari Forum
This is a discussion on ~Hina ka Rang Jaisay Aarzi ho~ within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; Originally Posted by ArAbIaN gIrL mujhe to achi lagi hai so daad qabool kijiye (flower4u) ab senious hi batein ge ...
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#11
05-28-2007, 11:32 AM
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Quote:
Thanks alot arabian girl sahiba. Raza
__________________ MujhKo Meray Afkaar kay Aainay mein dekho Qirtaas kay Dhabbay meri pehchaan nahi hen Sahir Faizabadi         |
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#12
05-28-2007, 11:35 AM
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Buss mein app logon ki takhleekhaat parhta rehta hoon waqtan fa waqtan, Bohat shukriya ghazal ko pasand karnay kay liye, appki daad sarr ankhon par 1.gif ")1") Jee mein nay appko bataya na kay mein kaafi dinno say soch raha tha kay post karom laikin mujhay pata yaqeen nahee tha kay pehlay bhee share kar chuka hoon kay nahee isi waja takheer ho gaee, muaazrat.
__________________ MujhKo Meray Afkaar kay Aainay mein dekho Qirtaas kay Dhabbay meri pehchaan nahi hen Sahir Faizabadi |
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#13
05-28-2007, 11:36 AM
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Raza
__________________ MujhKo Meray Afkaar kay Aainay mein dekho Qirtaas kay Dhabbay meri pehchaan nahi hen Sahir Faizabadi |
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#14
05-28-2007, 12:38 PM
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very nice
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#15
05-28-2007, 03:06 PM
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wah,bahot khoob Raza bhahi,bahot hi khoobsurat ghazal kahi hai aap ne,chand aek sher to bahot hi pasand aaye,so dheron daad hamaari jaanib se bhi qabool kijiye,  aek/do baatain mazeed kehna chaahata hoon,umeed hai mind naheen karain ge,(wesey yeh mera zaati khayaal hain,in se aap ka ya kissi aor ka mutafiq hona bilkul bhi zaroori naheen, )matla yoon to bahot achha hai,lekin merey khayaal main agar yoon hota to ziyaada achha lagta ...ke...... behar mushkil,zameeN chaahey kaRi ho bano mazmoon tum, to shaairy ho doosarey sher main lafz...boley...khatak raha hai,....mumkin hey ke yeh mera weham ho,phir bhi ho sakey to dekh lijiye ga, third last sher ka misra-e-oola agar yoon hota to shaaid ziyaada achha aor rawaan lagta ke....... mujhey kab rehney detey hain yeh tanha sitam hon,gham hon ya phir be kali ho, yeh sirf mera zaati khayaal hai,kissi ka bhi is se mutfaq hona zaroori naheen hai, bahot khush rahiye,aor likhte rahiye ke bahot achha likhtey hain aap,
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#16
05-28-2007, 04:29 PM
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Zain appki rah numaai ka bay hudd shukriya, asal mein baat yeh hai kay mein taqtee kay kisi usool par bhee amal nahee karta bus zaban ki rawani aur apnay andazay kay mutaabiq shair kehta hoon aur mujhay andaza hai kay is tarhaan ghalti ki gunjaish ziada hoti hai. Mein app ka mamnoon hoon kay app nay itni deeda reezi ki meri ghazal par aur sath sath islaah bhee kar daali, shukriya mein nay app kay bataye hoiein tabdeelian kar deen hein, "Bolay" wala poora misra hi badal dia hai usay bhee check kar liejh ga. W salam Raza Alam
__________________ MujhKo Meray Afkaar kay Aainay mein dekho Qirtaas kay Dhabbay meri pehchaan nahi hen Sahir Faizabadi |
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#17
05-29-2007, 05:10 AM
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aap ki baat par sirf itna kahoon ga ke..bhaahi yeh koyi achhi aadat naheen,.taqtee ka koyi aek tareeqa apna lijiye, hain......meri bataayi huyi tabdiliyaan kahaan hain bhaahi,yeh to aadhi meri bataayi huyi hain,lekin baaqi..........-:? aor jis shair ka aap ne misra tabdeel kiya hai,agar us ko yoon kaha jaaye ke.... the ham donon hi chup, lekin dua hai jo dil ki thi sada, dil ne suni ho to kesa rahey ga,-:?.......bas aek raaye hai,baaqi aap behtar soch saktey hain, bahot khush rahiye,
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#18
05-29-2007, 07:14 AM
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wa-alaikum-as-salam Raza Sahib! Jnab ap k liay purani sahi, hamary liay to ye na'ei hy, bilkul barish ki buNdoN ki trha... aur ap ki gahzal pr zain bhai aur aap ki discussion paRh kr boaht lutf mila, lekin maiN zain bhai ki tarmeem se pehly waly ashaar na dekh saka  .meri janib se is qadar achi ghazal kehny pr dher sari daad qubool kreN.... qafia boaht mushkil sellect kiya aap ne, lekin her sher meiN qafia ka acha istamal kiya hy... kuch ashaar ne to bohat hi lutf diya: mujhy kab rehny dety haiN ye tanha, sitam ho gham ho ya phir be-kali ho. so bohat si daad hazir hy... aik bat aur arz kr duN Raza bhai, k kisi bhi takhleeq maiN khamiaN kam se kam hoN to hi khubsurti baRhti hy... aur hamari khushqismati hy k is mehfil meiN hamaiN bohat se qabil dostoN ka sath naseeb hua hy, so ham sab dost pury khuloos se koshish krty haiN k yahaN pesh ki jany wali takhleeqat meiN khamiaoN ko dur kiya ja'y... isi silsily meiN aik do bateN meiN bhi arz krna chahuN ga.... dusry sher k donoN misroN meiN lafz "jo" aa raha jis se sher k mani samajhny meiN dushwari hoti hy, so is pr aik bar nazr-e-sani kr leN.... 5th sher k pehly misry meiN mujhy wazn ki kami mehsoos ho rai hy, isy bhi aik nazar dekh leN... "khirad razi ba wa'daa-e-farda" ya phir shayad mein sahi se paRh nahi saka... aur maqty meiN aik typing mistake hy, "jazbaat" meiN "zaal" aata hy... plz correct it... ye kuch guzarishat thiN meri nazer meiN... ho saky to inheN aik nazr dekh lijiay ga, ager kuch nagawar guzra ho to maazrat chahuN ga... Allah Mola aap ko bohat ziada ata kary, khush raheN, abad raheN....
__________________ tu na jadoN paas channaN! key ay saady paas way, din vi udaas saady, rataaN vi udaas way, luT gya chain sadaa, rus gye hassay way, khushiaN ny dur nssiaN... akhaN cham cham wssiaN!!! |
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#19
05-29-2007, 09:32 AM
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Salam, Bhai saheb, meri ghalati hai mein manta hoon laikin ab poori appki wali kar dee hai, shair bhee poora badal dia hai, yaar thori bohat islaah kay baad to mein phir bhee keh sakta tha kay yeh ghazal meri hai, laikin bhai ab to yeh ghazal app ki ho gaee hai, so agar chahein to lay liejh ga mujhay koi aitraaz nahee hoga, kion kay itni mehnat to iss par mein nay khud bhee nahee ki thee jitni app nay. waisay jo misra mein na badla tha wo sahee nahee tha kia?? :( yaar masla yeh hai kay taqtee seekhnay ki koshish to ki hai, parh parh kay laikin jab tak koi mujhay samnay beth kay nahee samjhaye ga aik dafa meri naqis aqal mein aanay wala kaam nahee hai yeh. Waisay sachee baat bataoon itni saari ghalation kay baad to mujhay khud hee buray lagnay lagee hai yeh ghazal. Raza Alam
__________________ MujhKo Meray Afkaar kay Aainay mein dekho Qirtaas kay Dhabbay meri pehchaan nahi hen Sahir Faizabadi |
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#20
05-29-2007, 10:00 AM
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Sab say pehlay to Ghazal ko pasand karnay kay liye bohat shukriya, kion kay mujhay abhee tak shukriya ada karna kay moqa zara kamm mila hai iss ghazal kay hawalay say, dosray yeh kay qaafia to mujhay mushkil nahee laga mein nay to aasaan samajh kay hi choose kia tha. Bhai itifaaq keh lein ya kuch bhee jo jo ghalatian app nay bataeen hein wo mujhay pehlay say maloom hein, mein khud bhee soch raha tha kay "bandagi" wala shair nikaal hi doon phir mein nay chor dia kay waisay hi ashaar kam hein. khirad raazi ba wada-e-fardaa wali baat bhee sahee hai, wazn kam hai, mein nay pehlay misra ko yoon kaha tha "khird ha raazi ba wada-e-farda" laikin iss say misray ki khoobsoorti khatam ho rahee thee, mein nay socha kay bina "ha" kay hi kaam chala loon, app bataiye kia kiya jaye. Accha hoa app nay "zaal" aur "zay" wali baat bata dee warna to mein nay ghor hi nahee kia tha, asal mein phonatic keyboard mein dono hi "Z" say type hotay hein, buss isi liye mistake ho gaee. Waisay mein soch raha hoon kay kisi ustaad kay paaas 1 adh maheena laga hee loon, warna to meri harr ghazal mein mistakes zaror niklein gee aur mein kab tak islaah par kaam chalata rahoon ga. Raza
__________________ MujhKo Meray Afkaar kay Aainay mein dekho Qirtaas kay Dhabbay meri pehchaan nahi hen Sahir Faizabadi |
Re: ~Hina ka Rang Jaisay Aarzi ho~ 
