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RulesThis is a discussion on Ghazal: kab tak sharar rakhta chupa yeh dil teri is yaad ka within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; assalamo alaikum! ehbaab ki khidmad mein apni taaza ghazal pesh kar raha houn, aap ki aaraa ka muntazir rahoonga. Zemir....
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#1
10-10-2008, 07:33 AM
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assalamo alaikum! ehbaab ki khidmad mein apni taaza ghazal pesh kar raha houn, aap ki aaraa ka muntazir rahoonga. Zemir.
__________________ is dasht mein jal jal Zameer - e be asar ka Haal ab DhooNDay waheeN per khak-e-dil, paaey jahaaN bhi rakh rakh Last edited by Owys Zemir; 10-13-2008 at 07:03 AM.                  |
| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Owys Zemir For This Useful Post: | ||
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#2
10-10-2008, 12:35 PM
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khelay hein jatay aag sy hm is bat sy baykhabar jo aa gira ik be sharar to aashyan b raakh raakh daman bharay angar sy doray paray hein hashr ko ponchay kama kr rakh, jo pain wahan b raakh raakh halat tri dekh kr hm khurty rhay arz-e-watan teri mohabbat ka samar ye jism-o-jan b raakh raakh bohat bohat umda............ zabardast....ap nain bohat khoub likha May Allah bless u |
| The Following User Says Thank You to hijab sayed For This Useful Post: | ||
Owys Zemir (10-10-2008) | ||
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#3
10-10-2008, 12:45 PM
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wa-alaikum-as-salam zameer sahab, aap ki ye taweel behr ki taweel gahzal paRhi... kuch points zehn meiN ubhray jo ap se share krna chahuN ga.... taweel behr meiN ghazal kehna is lehaz se mushkil hota hay k kabhi kabhi apko misry ki tawalat ko pora krny k liay ghair zuroori alfaaz ko shamil krna paRta hay... jis se sheir ka husn mutasir hota hay... youN to ghazal achi kahi hay aap ne... magar mehsoos hota hay k misroN pr ap ki garift us terha mazboot nahiN hay jesi k honi chahiay... yani k khyalaat jis qadar baRy aur munfarid haiN... in ka bayan us qadar wazeh aur jaamei nahiN hay... misroN ki banawat ko mazeed behter kiya ja sakta hay... so mera khyal hay k ap ko is ghazal pr aik bar nazr-e-sani kr leni chahiay... umeed hay apko meri koi bat garaN nahiN guzri ho gi, Allah Taala apko khush rakhy.. likhty rahen aur ham se share krty rahen.. 1.gif ")1")
__________________ ------------------------------------------------- Bedil libaas-e-zeest bohat deeda-zeb tha aur ham ne is libaas ko ulTa pehan liya... (Bedil Haidri) |
| The Following User Says Thank You to WanderingThoughts For This Useful Post: | ||
Owys Zemir (10-10-2008) | ||
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#4
10-10-2008, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Zemir. |
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#5
10-10-2008, 12:51 PM
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Quote:
Zemir. |
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#6
10-17-2008, 06:32 AM
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Kab tak sharar rakhta chHupa, ye dil teri is yaad ka BhaRka jo ye to kar chala, mera jahaaN bhi raakh raakh PhooNkeeN sahar honay talak, kitni hi ham ne cigareteN Na tha dhuwaiN ke kuchH siwa, aur raakhdaaN bhi raakh raakh Bohot hi khoob kaha Zemir Sahab, bohot umda.....overall poori ghazal main hi fikr ki rif'at nazar a rahi hai jiske liye dheroN daad hazir-e-khidmat hai, albatta bayaan main behteri ki kaafi gunjaish hai jaisa ke Faizan Bhai ne ishara kia hai to is per zaroor tawajju dijyega
__________________ ******************** ******************** **** Adaab teri bazm ke jeenay nahiN daitay DeewanoN ko jeenay ki tamanna to baRi hay (Qabil Ajmeri) |
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#7
10-17-2008, 08:19 AM
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Quote:
Behad shukriye ke sath... Zemir. |
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#8
10-17-2008, 11:54 AM
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Ghazal: kab tak sharar rakhta chupa yeh dil teri is yaad ka 
