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Ghazal: ik qayamat guzar gayee dil meiN

This is a discussion on Ghazal: ik qayamat guzar gayee dil meiN within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; baei wahhh Moin bhai.... khoob ghazal kahi hay... khawb aankhoN meiN jal gaye kesy, aag hi aag bhar gaei dil ...

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  #11  
Old 10-29-2008, 12:51 PM
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Default Re: Ghazal: ik qayamat guzar gayee dil meiN
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baei wahhh Moin bhai.... khoob ghazal kahi hay...

khawb aankhoN meiN jal gaye kesy,
aag hi aag bhar gaei dil meiN....

bohat hi umda sheir hay.... meri janib se bhi daad qubool kreN... khush raheN aabad raheN....
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akaily pan ki aziat ka ab gila kesa...
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  #12  
Old 12-31-2008, 08:16 PM
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Default Re: Ghazal: ik qayamat guzar gayee dil meiN
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Originally Posted by WanderingThoughts View Post
baei wahhh Moin bhai.... khoob ghazal kahi hay...

khawb aankhoN meiN jal gaye kesy,
aag hi aag bhar gaei dil meiN....

bohat hi umda sheir hay.... meri janib se bhi daad qubool kreN... khush raheN aabad raheN....

Thanks Faizan payen... buhat khush rahiye..
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  #13  
Old 12-31-2008, 08:23 PM
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Default Re: Ghazal: ik qayamat guzar gayee dil meiN
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Originally Posted by zain View Post
aek khaahish udhar sey nikli to
aek hasrat idhar gayi dil maiN

wah!!!
bahot khoob Moin bhaahi yeh ghazal bhi bahot khoob rahi aap ki,aor mundarja baala sheir to kamaal ka hai,bahot lutf aaya,so dheiroN daad qabool kijiye,
aek do jagah par thori si uljhan huyi,share kar deta hooN,aap bhi dekh lijiye ga,wesey is ki wuqqat meri raaye se ziyaada kuchh naheeN,jis par aap ka itefaaq zaroori naheeN,

matla ke misra-e-oolaa maiN aap ne likhaa "qayaamat guzar gayi dil MAIn" jabke merey khayaal maiN muhaawaratan " dil PAR" hona chaahiye,qayaamat ka dil MAIn guzar jaana namaanoos lag raha hai.

sheir #3, soorat,aor moorat donoN ham ma.nee lafz haiN,so pehley misrey maiN "soorat ka KAHEEn PIGHALNAA",aor doosarey misrey maiN "moorat ka dil maiN utarna" samjh naheen aaya,sheir ko paRhtey huye donoN misroN ka baahami rabt waazeya naheen hota.

sheir #6, pehley misrey ka "aesey" doosarey misrey se is ka rabt mashkook bana raha hai,merey khayaal maiN agar yeh sheir yoon hota ke.....

khaab jalney lagey haiN aankhoN maiN
aag hi aag bhar gayi dil maiN

to mafhoom ziyaada waaza hota,aor donoN misroN ka rabt bhi numaaya hota.

baaqi ke sabhi ashaar MASHA ALLAH bahot achhey haiN,so un par daad.
bahot khush rahiye,aor likhtey rahiye,ke achha likhtey haiN aap,

Assalam-0-Alaikum;

Buhat buhat shukriya Zain bhai.. itnay tafseeli post mortum ka..

dekhiye qayamat ka guzarna kuch iss tarhan mein nay parha hay...

hum yahan masroof thay aur Karachi per qayamat guzar gai

ya

hum yahan masroof thay aur Karachi mein qayamat guzar gai

ya

hum yahan masroof thay aur Karachi per qayamat toot pari

ye saari sooratein meray liye manoos hein.. issi liye sher mein ist'amal keen..


acha soorat aur moorat donoN hum ma3ni hein? mein nay to iss sense mein liya kay soorat ka matlab tasveer .. ya ayenay mein aks ka liya hay..... jab kay moorat ka matlab moorti k tour per liya hay... so aks phigal reya hay.. aur moorti bikher rayee hay..

Sher # 6 ... issi tarhaaN sahi hay

aik dafa phir buhat buhat shukriya..
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  #14  
Old 12-31-2008, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by cute mary View Post
bohat khoob janab behad khubsorat ghazal likhi aap ne isi tarha likhye aur share karye
apna khayal rakhyega

Thankyou cute mary..
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  #15  
Old 12-31-2008, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by rameesa View Post
Ek khawahish........... .
.................... .............

Very nice....

thanks rameesa...
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  #16  
Old 12-31-2008, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by *soniaa_jee* View Post
an amazinG Ghazal.............. ..bohat khoob......!!!
bohat see daad qabool kijiay

Thanks soniyaa.....
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  #17  
Old 12-31-2008, 08:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Aatif Saeed View Post
bayhadd umdaah ghazal hai Moin

Zain bhaee se main bhee muttafiq hooN, thori c nazer e saani k gunjaish hai

waisay main iss zameen per ghar bananay ka soch raha hooN

Khush raho

Salam Aatif bhai...

Zain bhai se mein bhi muttafiq hooN.. ... mera aap ko pata hi hay.. jo ustad nazar ata hay uss se muttafiq ho jata hoon forun


aap fori tor per ghar banayein.. mein nay ye zameen aap k naam per allot kerdi
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  #18  
Old 12-31-2008, 08:25 PM