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farz ke bojh se.....

This is a discussion on farz ke bojh se..... within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; ASLAM O ALEKUM, Aap doston ke reply se andaza hota hai ke is ghazal main abhi bahot si ghaltiyaan hain,jin ...


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  #1  
Old 07-18-2006, 04:41 AM
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ASLAM O ALEKUM,
Aap doston ke reply se andaza hota hai ke is ghazal main abhi bahot si ghaltiyaan hain,jin ki taseeh bahot zaroori hai,(shaaid main kuchh jald baazi kar gaya).
meri MOD hazraat se darkhwaast hai ke PLEASE is THREAD ko DELETE kar diya jaaye,......main is ghazal ko nazar saani ke ba.ad dobara post karoon ga,
bahot khush rahiye,
ALLAH NIGEHBAAN.
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Last edited by zain; 07-18-2006 at 02:35 PM.
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  #2  
Old 07-18-2006, 05:13 AM
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Default Re: farz ke bojh se.....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zain View Post
ASLAM O ALEKUM,
dosto kese mizaaj hain?umeed hai bakher honge,
lijiye,aek aor ghazal ke saath aek baar phir haazir hoon,ghazal kesi hai is ka andaaza aap ki aara hi se ho sake ga,so PLEASE apni qeemati aara se zaroor aagah kijiye ga,
bahot khush rahiye,
ALLAH NIGEHBAAN.


Zain bhai Ghazal to bohot khoob kahii hai aap ne ... Her shair qaabil e tehseen hai

Shair #3 k doosre micre meN lafzoN kii tarteeb lagta hai type kerte waqt ghalat ho ga'ii

"Haath meN tere bhii khanjar sa dabaa lagta hai" hona chaahiay thaa naa?

Qassim Mirza :Qassim:
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  #3  
Old 07-18-2006, 05:25 AM
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Default Re: farz ke bojh se.....
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wah bohat khub......kia kehne aik aik sher khubsurat hai....

Aur Qassim bhai...us misre me alfazon ki tarkeeb durust hai.....wo direct aur indirect wala lehja hai....
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  #4  
Old 07-18-2006, 05:46 AM
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Default Re: farz ke bojh se.....
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bohat achy Zain Bhai........

aik achi ghazal kehne pr bohat sari daad kabool krain....

Allah aap ko aur ata kary.... sada khushrahi'ay & yunhi likhty rahi'ay....

aur Jnab Karb! mery khyaal main Qasim bhai durust keh rahy hain...
be'shak ye indirect way hy... magar misry ko rawani maiN parhaiN to misra ghair-mozuN ho jata hy....

baqi, her aik ka apna andaaz aur lehja hota hy....
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  #5  
Old 07-18-2006, 08:38 AM
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Lightbulb Re: farz ke bojh se.....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zain View Post
ASLAM O ALEKUM,
dosto kese mizaaj hain?umeed hai bakher honge,
lijiye,aek aor ghazal ke saath aek baar phir haazir hoon,ghazal kesi hai is ka andaaza aap ki aara hi se ho sake ga,so PLEASE apni qeemati aara se zaroor aagah kijiye ga,
bahot khush rahiye,
ALLAH NIGEHBAAN.
Very Nice, Laikin matle,a ka doosra miSr,a krafting ka mutaqaazi he. Isay mazeed behtar banaya ja sakta he. " ShakhS har aik hi " kuchh bojhal sa ho gia he. Isi tarha doosray she,ar ka doosra miSr,a pehlay walay miSre,a ka sath naheeN de pa raha, yooN yeh she,ar do lakht horaha he. Aap ki yeh ghazal achhi he, laikin lagta he k aap ne isay likhnay ke ba,ad jaldi post kar dia he. Isghazal ko mazeed nikhara jasakta he. Bahar haal mairi taraf se dhairoN daad qabool kijiay. Umeed he k aap mairi in ma,arozat ka bura naheeN manaiN gay. Khush rehiay, likhtay rehiyay. Allah karay zao e qalam aor ziada.:(flowers)
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  #6  
Old 07-18-2006, 12:42 PM
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Default Re: farz ke bojh se.....
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zain bhai aap ki yeh ghazal bhi lajawaab hai..........

hai yeh logo'n ka chalan ya k zamanay ki hawa
jis ko daykho wohi pehlay say juda lagta hai
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  #7  
Old 07-18-2006, 03:07 PM
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Default Re: farz ke bojh se.....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zain View Post
ASLAM O ALEKUM,
Aap doston ke reply se andaza hota hai ke is ghazal main abhi bahot si ghaltiyaan hain,jin ki taseeh bahot zaroori hai,(shaaid main kuchh jald baazi kar gaya).
meri MOD hazraat se darkhwaast hai ke PLEASE is THREAD ko DELETE kar diya jaaye,......main is ghazal ko nazar saani ke ba.ad dobara post karoon ga,
bahot khush rahiye,
ALLAH NIGEHBAAN.


W/Salam Zain bhai... @};-

buhat umdah ghazal likhi hay aap nay... mujh jaisay mubtadi ko iss meiN khami nahiN dikhti... Qassim bhai, Ashraf bhai aur Faizan bhai jaisay kohna mashq shayerouN nay yaqeenan baja tour per khamioN ki nishandahi ki hogi..

aur iss thread ka delete na kiya jana sahi hay. kioN K iss se naye logouN ko
seekhnay ka moqa milay ga... aur kioN k iss meiN hamaray doosray shoura ki qeemti ara'a bhi darj heiN.. issliye ye aur qeemti ho jata hay

mera mashwara hay k aap issko sahi ker kay phir se yahaaN laga deiN..
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  #8  
Old 07-18-2006, 05:56 PM
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hmmm...wut shud i do now ..... Zain bhai....shud i del dis post or u will reload ur ghazal here?
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Old 07-18-2006, 06:47 PM
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Originally Posted by kanch ki mehroo View Post
hmmm...wut shud i do now ..... Zain bhai....shud i del dis post or u will reload ur ghazal here?

mere khayaal main to DELETE hi kar dain,ya phir block,
wese bhi main yeh ghazal nazar saani ke ba.ad aor chand naye ash.aar ke saath dobara nayi thread main post kar chuka hoon,
bahot khush rahiye.
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Old 07-18-2006, 08:39 PM
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@};-................
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Last edited by kanch ki mehroo; 07-19-2006 at 08:25 PM.
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