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Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka

This is a discussion on Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka within the Urdu Poet Club forums, part of the Urdu Poetry category; Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka Pyaas baRhti gayee, jaam aa na saka Sub'h se shaam tak, kaNpte ...


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  #1  
Old 10-31-2007, 02:00 AM
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Default Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
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Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
Pyaas baRhti gayee, jaam aa na saka

Sub'h se shaam tak, kaNpte reh gaye
Un laboN per mera naam aa na saka

Laakh tadbeer ki, laakh badli dawa
Dard aisa tha, araam aa na saka

Dil ke saare asaase to bikte gaye
Is ka soda kisi daam aa na saka

Aaj adawat ka rishta bhi jata raha
Aankh maiN koi ilzaam aa na saka

Tu ne dekha tha kuch, ban ke yuN ajnabi
Teri janib wo gumnaam aa na saka

ThokareN kha ke jaane kahaN reh gaya
Wo jo wapas bhi nakaam aa na saka

Sao sandese Saraab! aate jaate rahe
Apna man chaha paighaam aa na saka
__________________
******************** ******************** ****
Adaab teri bazm ke jeenay nahiN daitay
DeewanoN ko jeenay ki tamanna to baRi hay
(Qabil Ajmeri)
Last edited by Saraabs; 10-31-2007 at 02:25 AM.
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  #2  
Old 10-31-2007, 04:33 AM
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Default Re: Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
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ThokareN kha ke jaane kahaN reh gaya
Wo jo wapas bhi nakaam aa na saka..
bohat he acha laga parh kar ....aap bohat acha likhtay hain
isi trah acha acha likhtay rahin aur khush rahin...
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Ab os k baad laga DiL to DiL lagi hogi
Hum os pe apni mohabt tamaam kr aaye...!
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  #3  
Old 10-31-2007, 06:21 AM
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Default Re: Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
permalink
Sub'h se shaam tak, kaNpte reh gaye
Un laboN per mera naam aa na saka

Laakh tadbeer ki, laakh badli dawa
Dard aisa tha, araam aa na saka

Dil ke saare asaase to bikte gaye
Is ka soda kisi daam aa na saka

waah Bohat umdah ... mashaALLAH har sheir apni jagah lajawaab hai
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Sehra mein ... Justujoo teree lay aai @};-
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  #4  
Old 10-31-2007, 12:22 PM
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khalidrawat is a name known to allkhalidrawat is a name known to allkhalidrawat is a name known to allkhalidrawat is a name known to allkhalidrawat is a name known to allkhalidrawat is a name known to all
Default Re: Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
permalink
dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
piyaas barhti gae jaam aa na saka

Sub'h se shaam tak, kaNpte reh gaye
Un laboN per mera naam aa na saka

Laakh tadbeer ki, laakh badli dawa
Dard aisa tha, araam aa na saka

Dil ke saare asaase to bikte gaye
Is ka soda kisi daam aa na saka

Aaj adawat ka rishta bhi jata raha
Aankh maiN koi ilzaam aa na saka

Tu ne dekha tha kuch, ban ke yuN ajnabi
Teri janib wo gumnaam aa na saka

ThokareN kha ke jaane kahaN reh gaya
Wo jo wapas bhi nakaam aa na saka

Sao sandese Saraab! aate jaate rahe
Apna man chaha paighaam aa na saka

meri rae main jaisa ke mujhe lag raha he , is ghazal main "kaam aa nasaka" ka wazan wo nahin he jo ke lag raha he balke ye aise he " kam'a nasaka" ba wazn-e- din dhal na saka, waghaira. Is liye her sher ka misra-e-awwal tashih talab he . Ager aap ko aisa lag raha he tu ye tabdili ker ke dekhiye.
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  #5  
Old 10-31-2007, 06:29 PM
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Default Re: Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kanwal Hussain View Post
ThokareN kha ke jaane kahaN reh gaya
Wo jo wapas bhi nakaam aa na saka..
bohat he acha laga parh kar ....aap bohat acha likhtay hain
isi trah acha acha likhtay rahin aur khush rahin...
Kanwal, aap ko parh kar achcha laga, mujhe ye sun kar bohot achcha laga, behad shukr guzaar hoon
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  #6  
Old 10-31-2007, 06:32 PM
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Saraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond repute
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Default Re: Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ahsan225 View Post
Sub'h se shaam tak, kaNpte reh gaye
Un laboN per mera naam aa na saka

Laakh tadbeer ki, laakh badli dawa
Dard aisa tha, araam aa na saka

Dil ke saare asaase to bikte gaye
Is ka soda kisi daam aa na saka

waah Bohat umdah ... mashaALLAH har sheir apni jagah lajawaab hai
Ahsan Bhai, bohot bohot shukria ghazal ki pasandeedgi ka
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  #7  
Old 10-31-2007, 06:43 PM
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Saraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond reputeSaraabs has a reputation beyond repute
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Default Re: Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by khalidrawat View Post
dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
piyaas barhti gae jaam aa na saka

Sub'h se shaam tak, kaNpte reh gaye
Un laboN per mera naam aa na saka

Laakh tadbeer ki, laakh badli dawa
Dard aisa tha, araam aa na saka

Dil ke saare asaase to bikte gaye
Is ka soda kisi daam aa na saka

Aaj adawat ka rishta bhi jata raha
Aankh maiN koi ilzaam aa na saka

Tu ne dekha tha kuch, ban ke yuN ajnabi
Teri janib wo gumnaam aa na saka

ThokareN kha ke jaane kahaN reh gaya
Wo jo wapas bhi nakaam aa na saka

Sao sandese Saraab! aate jaate rahe
Apna man chaha paighaam aa na saka

meri rae main jaisa ke mujhe lag raha he , is ghazal main "kaam aa nasaka" ka wazan wo nahin he jo ke lag raha he balke ye aise he " kam'a nasaka" ba wazn-e- din dhal na saka, waghaira. Is liye her sher ka misra-e-awwal tashih talab he . Ager aap ko aisa lag raha he tu ye tabdili ker ke dekhiye.
Khalid Bhai, itni tawajju dene ka behad shukria, aap ke kehne per main ne ghazal ko dobara bulke baar baar dekha hai, ma'zrat ke saath kahoonga ke mujhe to is main koi problem mehsoos nahin hui waise agar aaenda kabhi aisa laga to yaqeenan tasheeh kar loonga, aap ki tawajju ka ek baar phir shukria
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  #8  
Old 11-01-2007, 04:32 PM
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Default Re: Dil tamanna ke kuch kaam aa na saka
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bohot khoob Saraab bhai.....
dher sari daad apki is khoobsurat ghazal ki nazr
khush rahiye

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