Urdu Poetry Forum

**zain** · #11 11-17-2006, 05:00 PM

wah!!!!!!!!
bahot khoob Saahir saahib,bahot khoobsurat ghazal kahi aap ne,har shair bahot pasand aaya,so bahot si daad qabool kijiye,is khoobsurat tehreer par,
aek chhoti si baat aor kehna chaahta hoon,agar naagwaar na guzrey to....
1) shair#2 main aap ne "sanbhal" ko 12 ke wazn par baandha hai,jabke is ka wazn 22 hai,
2) issi shair#2 ke pehley misrey main aap ne likha "chal" aor doosarey misrey main "hamaaraa" ,jo ke merey khayaal main "shutr ghurbah" main aata hai,
ho sakey to is shair ko phir dekh lijiye,
mera khayaal hai ke yeh kehney ki zaroorat naheen ke merey in khayalaat se aap ka mutafiq hona bilkul bhi zaroori naheen hai,
bahot khush rahiye,likhtey rahiye,ke achha likhtey hain aap,

**saahir** · #12 11-18-2006, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kanch ki mehroo

walikum asalam..

ghazal bohat khoob kahi aapne...bohat hi achay...dad qubool kijiye

aur yeah...shair maiN musafirat hi theek hai, basoorat-e-deegar misray ki rawani khatm ho jati hai...

khush rahiye

boht shukria mahro ji,,,,aap nay sanad e qabooliyet bakhash di hay to phir yaqeenan theek hi hay,,,boht boht shukria

**saahir** · #13 11-18-2006, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zain

wah!!!!!!!!
bahot khoob Saahir saahib,bahot khoobsurat ghazal kahi aap ne,har shair bahot pasand aaya,so bahot si daad qabool kijiye,is khoobsurat tehreer par,
aek chhoti si baat aor kehna chaahta hoon,agar naagwaar na guzrey to....
1) shair#2 main aap ne "sanbhal" ko 12 ke wazn par baandha hai,jabke is ka wazn 22 hai,
2) issi shair#2 ke pehley misrey main aap ne likha "chal" aor doosarey misrey main "hamaaraa" ,jo ke merey khayaal main "shutr ghurbah" main aata hai,
ho sakey to is shair ko phir dekh lijiye,
mera khayaal hai ke yeh kehney ki zaroorat naheen ke merey in khayalaat se aap ka mutafiq hona bilkul bhi zaroori naheen hai,
bahot khush rahiye,likhtey rahiye,ke achha likhtey hain aap,

zain tum theek kah rahay ho,,,yaar wazan k is paimanay ka main qaail nahi hon,,,,tum khud say agar yehan wazan poora kerdo gay to mujhay kuch seekhnay ko mil jaaiy ga,,,,,rahi baat zain shutar ghurba ki,,,,,asal lafz hay shutar gurba,,,,,,,,mera khiyal hy roman likhnay main ghalti hogae hogi,,,,,zain main tumhain nahi jaanta,,laikin tumharay is pahlo k ujaagar krnay say mujhay ye andaza huwa hy k tum shayed panjaab say talluq rakhtay ho,,,agar tum dahli ya lakhnao ya ali garh ki urdu ko perho to shayed hosakta hy tum ittifaaq kero k chal k saath humara shutar gurba nahi hy,,,,,or phir yaar sha,ir ko kuch to riyaayat lainay do,,,,,girtay pertay hum bhi kuch seekh hi jaain gay,,,apnay qeemti mashwaron say nawaztay rahna,,,,,hamara bhala hota rahay ga

**shazlay** · #14 11-18-2006, 04:57 PM

hmm jab itnay experts shora ki opinion ha k musfrat hi thiek ha tu thiek hi ho ga

main nay tu bas raya di thi mager waqai main zaroori nahi tha k musafat hi ayta ..
wish u all the best

**zain** · #15 11-18-2006, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saahir

zain tum theek kah rahay ho,,,yaar wazan k is paimanay ka main qaail nahi hon,,,,tum khud say agar yehan wazan poora kerdo gay to mujhay kuch seekhnay ko mil jaaiy ga,,,,,rahi baat zain shutar ghurba ki,,,,,asal lafz hay shutar gurba,,,,,,,,mera khiyal hy roman likhnay main ghalti hogae hogi,,,,,zain main tumhain nahi jaanta,,laikin tumharay is pahlo k ujaagar krnay say mujhay ye andaza huwa hy k tum shayed panjaab say talluq rakhtay ho,,,agar tum dahli ya lakhnao ya ali garh ki urdu ko perho to shayed hosakta hy tum ittifaaq kero k chal k saath humara shutar gurba nahi hy,,,,,or phir yaar sha,ir ko kuch to riyaayat lainay do,,,,,girtay pertay hum bhi kuch seekh hi jaain gay,,,apnay qeemti mashwaron say nawaztay rahna,,,,,hamara bhala hota rahay ga

Bahot shukriya Saahir saahib ke aap ne waqt nikala,aor reply kiya,
wesey mujhey hairat is baat par ho rahi hai ke jab aap wazn/behar ke is paimaaney ke qaail naheen to baaqi shair wazn main kesey ho gaye,....aor doosari baat yeh ke merey is shair ko wazn main karney se aap ko kesey kuchh seekhaney ko miley ga,(jabke aap to wazn ke is paimaaney ko hi naheen maanatey).
ji aap ne theek pehchaana,...main punjab ka hi rehney waala hoon,....lekin mera khayaal hai,aor jahaan tak meri ma.aloomaat hain urdu shaairy ke asool ilaaqaayi bol chaal ki takhsees se paak hain,ab chaahey koyi Punjaabi ho,ya dahli ya lakhnao ya ali garh ka rehney waala,urdu shaairy ke asool wohi rahain ge jo ke hain,............... kheir.......yeh meri bilkul zaati raaye thi,jis ka izhaar main ne apni pehli post main kiya,........aor is se itafaaq karna ya na karna aap ke hi ikhtiyaar main hai,
agar koyi baat nagawaar guzri ho to us ke liye ma.azarat chahoon ga,
bahot khush rahiye,

**saahir** · #16 11-20-2006, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zain

Bahot shukriya Saahir saahib ke aap ne waqt nikala,aor reply kiya,
wesey mujhey hairat is baat par ho rahi hai ke jab aap wazn/behar ke is paimaaney ke qaail naheen to baaqi shair wazn main kesey ho gaye,....aor doosari baat yeh ke merey is shair ko wazn main karney se aap ko kesey kuchh seekhaney ko miley ga,(jabke aap to wazn ke is paimaaney ko hi naheen maanatey).
ji aap ne theek pehchaana,...main punjab ka hi rehney waala hoon,....lekin mera khayaal hai,aor jahaan tak meri ma.aloomaat hain urdu shaairy ke asool ilaaqaayi bol chaal ki takhsees se paak hain,ab chaahey koyi Punjaabi ho,ya dahli ya lakhnao ya ali garh ka rehney waala,urdu shaairy ke asool wohi rahain ge jo ke hain,............... kheir.......yeh meri bilkul zaati raaye thi,jis ka izhaar main ne apni pehli post main kiya,........aor is se itafaaq karna ya na karna aap ke hi ikhtiyaar main hai,
agar koyi baat nagawaar guzri ho to us ke liye ma.azarat chahoon ga,
bahot khush rahiye,

hmm piyaray zain ji boht boht shukriya,,,,yaar mera ye matlab nahi tha,,urdu k asool is bahs main nahi aatay,,,main ny is liye kaha tha k shatr gurba nahi hay,,,daikho main misaal daita hon,,hosakta hay sha,ir nay chal apnay kisi humrahi ko kaha ho,,,or phir tum ny jis terha shater gurba ki qand yehan legaae hay to phir poori ghazal is ki zad main aani chahiye,,poori ghazal main humara seegha e waahid main istamal huwa hay,,or yaar tum nay wazan ki jo nishandahi ki hy wo tum ny apni jaga bilkul drust ki hy,,iski detail main janay k liye boht taweel guftugo ki zaroorat hay jo iswqt mumkin nahi hy,,,,,,,,,,
tum yaqeen kero zain mujhay is baat ki boht khushi hy k tum nay itnay ghoar say is ghazal ko perha,,main iska wazan poora krnay ki koshish keron ga,,,or aakhri baat ye meray piyaray dost main ny punjaab ka ziker kisi tassub ki akkasi k liye nahi kiya tha,,urdu to hay hi ilaqaee zubaan,,isay is k ilaqon say yaad kiya jata hy,,,,,aleegarehi,ka npoori,dakanni,dahlw i,,lakhnawi,,bachapo ori,,amratsari,,laho ri,,,aisay hi or bhi boht hain,,,,ye sab urdo ka jhoomar hain,,salam

**WanderingThoughts** · #17 11-25-2006, 09:54 AM

bai wah.... Ali bhai kiya khoob ghazal kahi hy aap ne...

aur itni achi behs chal rahi hy ap k aur Zain bhai k dermian k ji chahta hy abhi ilm ka tabad'la jari rahy...

lekin aik point mery zehn maiN bhi hy... (wazn aur shatr ghurba se hat kr...)

"Ajnabi shehr hy, saNbhal kr chal
kaun is shehr maiN hamara hy..."

is sher main lafz "Ajnabi" dosry misry maiN kahi gai bat ko mukamal tor pr bayan kr deta hy... yani malum hota hy k sher maiN aik hi bat ko do bar byaN kiya gya hy, jo kisi bhi trha mozuN nahi...

so kindly isy dobara dekh leN...

Urdu Poetry Forum

bojh dil say utara hay

bojh dil say utara hay