Originally Posted by kanch ki mehroo

nazm ka khayal bohat umda hai.. uske liye dad qubool kijiye.. ab thori si tanqeed ho jaye..

nazm phir say seenay maiN.. jo bhatakti jati hai..

nazm ka seenay maiN bhatakna.. kuch samajh nahiN aaya.. yeh line thori tawajjah chahti hai..

rawani ki bhi kami mehsoos hui.. lafzoN ki tarteeb badal kar daikhiye.. maine kuch tabdeeliyoN k sath rewrite ki hai.. daikhiye..

zindagi k kaghaz par
titliyoN k saray rang
mil k aik doojay say
rang khubsoorat sa
ik naya banatay haiN
aur maiN k rangoN say
nazm kehna chahti hooN
kuch bhi keh na pati hooN
dukh k kitnay darya jo
zindagi k kaghaz par
titliyoN k rangoN ko
is tarah miTatay haiN
khamshi sulagti hai
dard gungunatay haiN
aansuoN ki barish maiN
khaab bheeg jatay haiN

khush rahiye