Janab Atif Saeed bhai
Assalam-o-Alaikum
Masha Allah say takhayyul ki bulandioN par hain aap..
boht achi nazm kahi hay aap nay...
kahiN kahiN wazn main naqs hay lekan majmooee taor par aik achi kawish hay...

dekhain
"hijr" ko "hijar" aor "wasl" ko "wasal" nahiN likha ja sakta. agar aap ki nazm main in do alfaz ko asl talaffuz kay sath ada kia jaey to wazn main khrabi paida hoti hay jo asatza kay nazdeek bilkul qabl-e-qubool nahN....

YouN lagta hay kai ratoN say woh soi nahiN shaid
YouN lagta hay hay kisi ki yad ab din rat rehti hay

is she'r main aap nay lafz "YouN" ko mehz aik harkat kay taor par bandha hay jo ke ghalat hay "YouN" ko poora hi paRha jana chaiahy..

umeed hay nazr-e-sani farmaiN gay...
boht achi takhleeq par boht ziada daad

aap ka apna
azam

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