07-29-2007, 01:55 PM
|
 | ~*~Raat Ka Rahii~*~ | | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: HaWa K DoSh PaR Age: 27
Posts: 10,567
Country:  Tutorials:
0 Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTW/F/M Award(s): 0
Rep Power: 1150 | |
 Re: raye shumari baraye muqabla-e-tarahi ghazal.. | |
Tamam dostoN ki mehrbani k unhoN ne is muqable main shirkat ki, Buhat he ache ache kalam parhne ko mile, go k kuch na'ay likhne wale frnds bhi hain but unhoN ne bhi buhat acha likha hay. Baqi ramooz ki baat hay jahaN tak tu wo waqt k sath insan sekhta rehta hay. Hamari janib se tamam shuraka ko dheroN daad qabool hoo. Marking neche kiay dete hain.
1: Furqan85 .................... .(1.5+3.5)=5
Jnab Furqan sahib app ne buhat achi ghazal kahi hay, khayalt ache hain magar abhi zara si mashq ki zarorat hay, ache shua'ra ko parhte rahiay insha Allah kafi behtri ajay gi. Baki wazn ki kafi kami mehsos hoi app k kalam main is taraf dhiyan dijiay k motti jitne bhi khobsurat hooN agar unhain khobsurti se piroya na ja'ay tu wo bekar hojate hain. PC main kafi tutorials lage hoay hain wahan se bhi app ko Behr aur wazn k bare main kafi help mil sakti hay. Khush Rahiay
2: Shoaibb4u ....................(0+2)=02
App ki kawish bhi behtar hay but abhi app ko buhat mashq ki zarorat hay. Ache aur ustad shua'ara ko parhiay insha Allah behtri aaay gi kalam main aur khayalat bhi mazboot hoongay.
3: Fehmeeda ishtiaq………….(1+2) = 03
Muhtarma app ki kawish main wazn ki buhat gunjaish hay albata thoughts ache hain magar abhi itni pukhtagi nazar nahi atti in main app se bhi yehi guzarish karoN ga k app bhi ache shua’ara ka mutalia jari rakhaiN.
4. Faypal………………..(4+4)= 08
Masha Allah buhat he umdah kalam hay Afzal sahib, Wazn aur kalam par grift bhi shandar hay, but ghazal ka 2nd last shair jacha nahi, means pukhtagi nahi hay is main. Albata over all aik achi ghazal kahi app ne. Buhat khush Rahiay aur likhte rahiay.
5: Yasmin Ahmad ………………(1+3) = 4
Muhtarma app ki kawish bhi khoob hay, Achi ghazal kahi hay albata abhi ramooz ki kafi kamiyaN hain, Mashq jari rakhiay.
6: Bekhudi……………….(2.5+3.5) = 6
App ki tehrer parhne main kafi dikat hoi shayad k fonts ka kuch prb tha. Albata akhir kar parh he li. Achi ghazal kahi hay app ne bhi kafi acha likhti hain, Is mashq ko jari rakhiay app main buhat acha likhne ki qualities hain.
7: Noor……………….(4+4.5) =8.5
Noor app tu hamesha se he umdah kalam share karti aai hain aur is baar bhi aik umdah ghazal share ki hay. Ham aur kia comments daiN ab bss yehi kahen gay k aik umdah ghazal hay. Buhat khush Rahiay
8: Gumaan…………..(1+2)=3
App neb hi achi koshish ki hay, but shayad abhi app ko ramooz k bare main zara si mehnat karni pare giii. App aisa kijiay k PC main hain tutorial ki post stick hay us ka mutaliya kijiay. Wahan app ko kafi kuch sekhne ko mile ga. Aur apni mashq jari rakhiay k app jitna likheN ge utni behtri aay gii. Keep writing and sharing.
9: Aas…………….(1+2)=3
Wah bhai jiii app aur yahaN bari baat hay, khushi hoi app ko yahan dekh kar. Achi kawish rahi app ki. Mashq jari rakhiay insha Allah behtri aay gi.
10: Messam Kazmi……….(4+4)=8
Jnab buhat acha kalam hay app ka. Kafi khobsurat asha’ar hain. But kuch asha’ar aise lage k app ne zabardasti keh diay hain shayad. Albata achi ghazal rahi app ki. Ainda bhi isi tarah se share karte rahiay.
11: Silent_Wishes………..(2.5+4.5)= 7
Wah Jnab kia baat hay app k kalam ki. Buhat he umdah ghazal hay aur thoughts tu buhat he khobsurat hain, Buhat eh lutf aya app ka kalam parh kar. Agarcha app ki tehrer main Wazn aur behar ki kafi kami dekhne main aaiii hay but phr bhi aik khobsurat ghazal hay. App apni mashq jari rakhiay aur Ramooz ki taraf khas tawaja dijiay, Buhat nikhar ajay ga app k kalam main.
12: Shehr-e-wafa ………(4+4) =8
Jharna, Khushi hoi app k kalam dekh kar, Kafi improve kia hay app ne, Wazn aur behar tu bilkul he thk hay. Pehle tu hamari janib se is par daad qabolo kijiay. Rahi baat thoughts kit u wo bhi ache hain. Sach janaiN tu buhat acha laga k app ne itni mehnat ki hay. Buhat si daad qabool kijiay aur mashq jari rakhiay. Allah app ko aur atta kare. (amen)
13: Zeneya…………..(3+3.5)=6.5
Aik achi kawish hay app ki janib se muhtarma. Go k abhi wazn main kuch gunjaish hay but wo waqt k sath aur muta’lay jari rakhiay ache aur ustad shua’ara ka is se behtari aay gi khaylat main bhi.
14: Bailamos……………(1+3)=4
Achi ghazal hay jnab. But abhi app ko kafi behtri lani hay. Mashq jari rakhiay insha Allah behtri ajay giiii.
Sab ne buhat ache kalam share kiay hain. Meri janib se sab buhat si daad qabool karain. Aur buhat khush rahiay. 
Dua’Go
Mehtab |