Shehr-i-Wafa

Wah khatoon.... kia zabardast nazm ki uthaan hay.. .wah.. kia khayalaat heiN.. parhtay hi jaisay iss k seher mieN girftar hogaye hum to... nazm ka aghaaz buhat hi umda hay... uthaan bhi buhat achi thi.. laikin darmiyan meiN wazn ki thori garbar hay aur phir uss k ba'ad aakhir tak nazm per aap ki giraf dheeli hoti gayee...

her aik pattay kay zard chehray ki iss thakan se
wehshat zada heiN

yahaN wehshat rawani meiN khalal daal raha hay..

aur phir lafz gerdishoN bhi sahi nahiN iss jaga pe...

aik spelling mistake bhi hay sambhal sambhal iss tarhaN nahiN likhtay .. .seen k ba'ad noon ata hay...

Overall dekha jaye to khayal acha hay... aur alfaz bhi achay hein... so aap k marks huway

mozoo = 5 ,
Andaz-i-bayaN=2.5

Aisa hi acha accha likhti rahiye.... aur share kerti rahiye..

Allah aap ko buhat taraqi day.. Ameen





Subha757

Ji buhat khushi huwi aap ki contribution ko dekh ker... buhat khooob likha hay aap nay.. Bilkul mozoo k mutabiq... laikin nazm meiN rawani aur wazn ki khasi kami mehsoos huwi... laikin agar hum issko aik nasri nazm k tour per dekheiN to rawani itni ahem nahiN rehti... chaliye phir hum dekhtay hien k khayalaat ki zarkhaizi kia kkehti hay.. .to meiN aap ko buhat mubarakbaad deita hooN k aap aik naya talent heiN.. laikin aap k khayalaat buhat hi zabardast aur buhat hi zarkhaiz haiNN.. .agar aap issi tarhaaN kawish kerti raheeN to buhat jald achay sh oura meiN aap ka shumaar hoga..

aap k marks heiN mozoo = 5
andaz-i-bayaaN = 1.5
total marks = 6.5



WanderingThoughts

Wah faizan bhai... buhat khoobsoorat nazm likhi hay aap nay ... wa'ada-i-ummeed ki buhat achi tasveer khenchi hay... bilkul perfect nazm hay meray hisaab se to.. buss aakhir kuch lines rythm meiN parhnay mein kuch takleef huwi.. wo bhi mera hi qasoor nikla buhat aala' janab...

aap k marks huway mozoo = 5, andaz-i-bayaaN = 4

total marks = 9


Kanwal Hussain


Zabardast Kanwal sahiba.. buhat hi alaa'a buhat achi uthaan rahi aap ki nazm ki... aur akhir tak atay atay to yaqeen kijiye k aisa laga k palkeiN bheeg jayeiNgi... qari ko saath lay ker aap kahaN se kahaN lay gayeeN.. buhat kh oobsoorat.. buhat achay ista'araat ista'amal kiye hein.. buhat buland takhayyul bhi hay... buss darmiyan mein nazm thori ghair zaroori tour per taweel lagi.. jahaN sapnoN ka zikr hay.. wahaN 1 2 lines extra lageeN.. laikin ye to apnay style ki baat hay

buhat khooob... aap k marks huway mozoo = 5
andaaz-i-bayaaN=4

total marks = 5 + 4 = 9



Saahir

Buhat khoob sahir bhai.. ye nazm bhi nasri nazm ki category mein ati hay... aur khayalaat to buhat hi buland hein.. baqoul hamaray aik dost k , kay asmaan se baateiN ker rahay hein.. tradition se hat ker aap nay unwaan ko barta.. aur buhat hi khooob barta... ..

aap k marks huway

mozoo = 5
andaz-i-bayaaN = 3.5

total marks = 8.5




Sub participaants k liye best of luck.. .

Khush rahiye.. .

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