Urdu Poetry/Shayari Forum - View Single Post - Raaye shumari baraye muqabla-e-nazam goi.. (Jan-07)

**WanderingThoughts** · #3 01-29-2007, 10:36 PM

As-salam-o-alaikum dosto!!!
Is bar muqabla-e-nazm goi ka unwaan tha �Bahaar�. Sab dostoN ki taraf se bohat acha kalaam parhny ko mila� meri janib se nta�ij kuch youN hain� >
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1: Ragni
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�Bahaar k Mozu pr likhi gai aap ki ye nazm �Chaloo ik EHD-e-WAFA karain� aik bohat achi kawish hy,<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn[IMG]http://www.hallagulla.com/urdu/ /><o:p></o:p><font size=" /><o:p></o:p>
nazm ka ba-ghaur ja�iza liya ja�y to ehsaas hota hy k khyaalat achy pesh hu�ay hain, alfaaz ka chunao bhi khoob hy� lekin nazm k misroN main rawani ki kami hy, andaaz-e-bayaN k tehat bhi behtri ki gunja�ish nikalti hy. Mozu k hawaly se dekha ja�y to is maiN kuch tashnagi mehsoos hoti hy�<o:p></o:p>
is nazm se andaaza hota hy k aap ki thori si tawaju, aap k is hunar main numayaN nikhaar paida kr sakti hy.<o:p></o:p>
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aap ki nazm ko milty haiN:<o:p></o:p>
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Andaz-e-beyan = 2.5
mozu = 2.5
total marks = 5
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2: Miss Naqvi
aap ki janib se bhi aik bohat khoob nazm parhny ko mili�<o:p></o:p>
technically dekha ja�y to nazm mozu ka achy andaaz main aahata krti dekhai deti hy� lekin abhi bhi is main behteri ki bohat gunja�ish maujud hy� khyalaat bohat achy andaaz main pesh ki�ay ga�y hain, alfaaz ka chunao khoob hy aur istaamal bhi acha hua hy� lekin tamaam nazm main rawani ka pehlu tawaju talab hy� (aur ager ap is pehlo pr tawaju deN to jald hi is main maharat hasil kr sakti hain�)<o:p></o:p>
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aap k total marks hu�ay:<o:p></o:p>
Andaz-e-beyan = 3
mozu = 3.5
total marks = 6.5

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3: Kanwal Hussain<o:p></o:p>
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3rd aur last entery hy Kanwal Sahiba ki� to janab! Aap ki nazm bhi khoob
rahi. Aik bat jo main ne is nazm k ikht�taam pr mehsoos ki, wo ye k is nazm ki crafting achi hui hy� yaani nazm ka structure (aaghaaz, dermiyaan aur aakhir) mukamal hy� ye sab se bara plus-point raha is nazm ka�<o:p></o:p>
deegar pehlo�oN ko dekha ja�y to malum hota hy k nazm ka markazi khyaal, jisy nazm main sath le kr chala gya, khoob hy� alfaaz ka chunao aur un ka istaamal achy hy� lekin is nazm ka sab se bara negative point ye hy k nazm main kuch muqamaat pr wazn aur rawani ki kami mehsoos hoti hy� aur aap jesi Shaira se is bat ki tawaqu nahi ki jati� umeed hy aainda aap is bat ka khyaal rakheN gi�<o:p></o:p>
aap k total marks hu�ay�<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
Andaz-e-beyan = 3.5
mozu = 4
total marks = 7.5

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sab dostoN ka aik bar phir bohat sukriya k unhoN ne is muqably maiN hisa lia aur hmaiN itni achi nazmeN parhny ka moqa faraham kiya...
umeed hy aainda bhi aap sab dost isi trha is mehfil ki ronaq maiN izafa krty raheN gy...

Allah Mola ham sab dostoN ko bohat ziada seekhny ki taufeeq ata kary.... Aamin...