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Originally Posted by zain  wah!!!!!!!! bahot khoob Saahir saahib,bahot khoobsurat ghazal kahi aap ne,har shair bahot pasand aaya,so bahot si daad qabool kijiye,is khoobsurat tehreer par, aek chhoti si baat aor kehna chaahta hoon,agar naagwaar na guzrey to.... 1) shair#2 main aap ne "sanbhal" ko 12 ke wazn par baandha hai,jabke is ka wazn 22 hai, 2) issi shair#2 ke pehley misrey main aap ne likha "chal" aor doosarey misrey main "hamaaraa" ,jo ke merey khayaal main "shutr ghurbah" main aata hai, ho sakey to is shair ko phir dekh lijiye,1.gif ")1") mera khayaal hai ke yeh kehney ki zaroorat naheen ke merey in khayalaat se aap ka mutafiq hona bilkul bhi zaroori naheen hai, bahot khush rahiye,likhtey rahiye,ke achha likhtey hain aap, |
zain tum theek kah rahay ho,,,yaar wazan k is paimanay ka main qaail nahi hon,,,,tum khud say agar yehan wazan poora kerdo gay to mujhay kuch seekhnay ko mil jaaiy ga,,,,,rahi baat zain shutar ghurba ki,,,,,asal lafz hay shutar gurba,,,,,,,,mera khiyal hy roman likhnay main ghalti hogae hogi,,,,,zain main tumhain nahi jaanta,,laikin tumharay is pahlo k ujaagar krnay say mujhay ye andaza huwa hy k tum shayed panjaab say talluq rakhtay ho,,,agar tum dahli ya lakhnao ya ali garh ki urdu ko perho to shayed hosakta hy tum ittifaaq kero k chal k saath humara shutar gurba nahi hy,,,,,or phir yaar sha,ir ko kuch to riyaayat lainay do,,,,,girtay pertay hum bhi kuch seekh hi jaain gay,,,apnay qeemti mashwaron say nawaztay rahna,,,,,hamara bhala hota rahay ga