Urdu Poetry/Shayari Forum - View Single Post - Raye shumari baraye muqabla-e-nazam goi (Sept. 06)

**zain** · #15 10-01-2006, 09:12 PM

ASLAM O ALEKUM,
dosto bahot ma.azarat ke saath arz karna chaahata hoon ke chand aek na guzeer wajuhaat ki bina par main ziyaada wazaahat main baat naheen kar paoon ga,aor sirf mukhtasaran marks hi likh raha hoon,umeed karta hoon ke aap meri majboori ko samajhatey huye mehsoos naheen karain ge,

1: khaiyaal.......CHAHA T KI EK DOORI

aap ki nazam ka buniyaadi khayaal achha hai,lekin rbt aor rawaani ki khaasi kami hai is main,so aap ki nazam ko main de raha hoon......3+2=5

2: chariagy-aakhir-shab......."MOHUBBAT "

aap ki nazam main bhi pichhli baar ki tamaam ghaltiyon ko dohraaya gaya,khayaal uljha huwa,aor rawani main khaasi kami rahi,aor andaaz ziyada tar nasar ka hai,so aap ki is kaawish ko milte hain.....4+1=5 marks

3: Tariq Aziz......suna hai terey labon pe aakhir wo naam aaya

aap ki nazam achhi hai,aor alfaaz ka istamaal bhi aap khoob jaante hain,lekin is nazam main maozu ke aetabaar se tishnagi mehsoos huyi,aor nazam ujlat ka shikaar lagi mujhe,wazn bhi kaheen kaheen gar bar hai,agar aap thori si mazeed tawajah aor waqt dete to shaaid aek bahot achhi takhleeq saamane aati,beharhaal maojooda soorat main main aap ki is nazam ko deta hoon....3+3=6 marks

4: Filmsy......unwaan.. .(---------------)

aap ne muhabbat ka mafhoom bataati achhi nazam kahi,(go ke is nazam main koyi khaas khayaal,ya takhayul nazar naheen aata)aor doosari baat yeh hai ke bahot baar bataane ke baawajood bhi aap ne unwaan dena zaroori naheen samjha,so aap ki is nazam ko main de raha hoon,......1+3=4 marks

5: Haya n.....aseeraan-e-muhabbat

bahot khoob Haya,is baar bhi aap ne achhi nazam kahi,maozu,andaaz-e-bayaan,khayaal sab achha hai,agar kami hai to wazn ki,ke nazam main rawaani naheen hai,is tarf tawajah dene ki zaroorat hai,majmooyi tor par achhi nazam hai,aap ki nazam ko main deta hoon....5+3.5=8.5 marks

6: WithLove........hama in tum se muhabbat hai

bahot khoobsurat nazam kahi aap ne,aor aap ki nazam ko main deta hoon...5+4=9 marks

7: LuckyLibra.......... ..muhabbat

achhi koshish rahi aap ki bhi,lekin mere khayaal main nazam main khayaal uljha huwa hai,aor rawaani main bhi kami mehsoos huyi,aap ki nazam ko main deta hoon...5+3=8

8: pessimist..........M ohabbat kia hai

aap ki nazam bhi bahot achhi rahi,lekin abhi mazeed mehnat ki zaroorat beharhaal hai,aap ki nazam ko milte hain....5+3=8 marks

9: :Qassim:........(umw aan koshish ke bawajood mujhe kaheen nazar naheen aaya,aor aap jesey ba zaoq,aor shaairy ke asool-o-zawaabat se waaqfiyat rakhne waale shaair se is susti ki tawaqa naheen ki jaasakti)
beharhaal,....aap ki nazam ko main deta hoon......1+3.5=4.5 marks

10: Quill......muhabbat

aap ki nazam bhi bahot achhi hai,lekin namukamal hone ka aehsaas hota hai,so is ko main deta hoon....4.5+4=8.5

11: Silentmotions....... ........pyaar

aap ki nazam achhi hai,lekin diye gaye unwaan se kaafi hat kar mehsoos huyi mujhe,so is ko milte hain.....3+4=7 marks

bahot khush rahiye,aor best of luck.