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To A Suicide Bomber!

This is a discussion on To A Suicide Bomber! within the English Poet's Club forums, part of the English Poetry category; To A Suicide Bomber! Blowing yourself!! Hitting others hard One head here Whole part lost Making eyes weep Making souls ...


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  #1  
Old 08-10-2007, 12:06 PM
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Default To A Suicide Bomber!

To A Suicide Bomber!

Blowing yourself!!
Hitting others hard
One head here
Whole part lost
Making eyes weep
Making souls scream
Leaving minds depressed
Hearts with unrest
Snatching peace from other
Making them yell
Is that the way to heaven
Or the way straight to hell

After that with terrible ends
Corpse that lay on the ground
Drenched in blood, pieces lost
Eyes open, questioning a lot
Any mistake? Their any fault ??
Shutting those eyes
We cannot deny
The fact they ask
Any mistake ? Their any fault ??

Still YOU think
You have succeed
Still you wish in peace you’ll dwell
Keep on wishing keep that will
But for once just look behind|!!
See the homes you broke away
See the faces from which you stole
The laughter, the life,
The love, the shine
See the eyes questioning you
Why you shattered, why you broke
The peace of home, the security of life
The trust on humanity, the hope in eyes
And see the mates accompanying you
Answer them the reason, they ask your way
Without any fault, without any mistake
Far from beloveds, you took them away
Huh! Last but not the least to say
Go on wishing, and keep that will
But for once think as well
Was that the way to heaven
Or a way straight to hell|???

Poetess= Noori



waiting 4 ur suggestions and comments
~~Noori~~
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  #2  
Old 08-10-2007, 01:33 PM
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Default Re: To A Suicide Bomber!

Well, if this message is opted for the suicide bummers than i guess it's the wrong place to get attention...

Just kiddin'.

OK...if u can get the structure of your sentences right...i mean...making it sound simple rather than bulged in...i guess you'll be a hell of a poetess Ma'am.

This is a very good effort...not just relating to the ones who suffered but also to the one who has created this inhuman mess...i guess u tried to give a complete picture...nonetheles s.

Please do carry on...andkeep smilin'. Bye.
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  #3  
Old 08-11-2007, 07:55 AM
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Default Re: To A Suicide Bomber!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aas View Post
Well, if this message is opted for the suicide bummers than i guess it's the wrong place to get attention...

Just kiddin'.

OK...if u can get the structure of your sentences right...i mean...making it sound simple rather than bulged in...i guess you'll be a hell of a poetess Ma'am.

This is a very good effort...not just relating to the ones who suffered but also to the one who has created this inhuman mess...i guess u tried to give a complete picture...nonetheles s.

Please do carry on...andkeep smilin'. Bye.
yeah its da wrong place bt i love to share my feelings with HG
plz suggest me how to improve....where did u find the irreguarity??
wasn't it worth posting??

looking Fwd to urreply.
tc
NooRi
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  #4  
Old 08-11-2007, 08:53 AM
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Exclamation Re: To A Suicide Bomber!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naina View Post
yeah its da wrong place bt i love to share my feelings with HG
plz suggest me how to improve....where did u find the irreguarity??
wasn't it worth posting??

looking Fwd to urreply.
tc
NooRi

Who said is wasn't worth n e thing, let alone posting...?

As i have mentioned earlier, it was a great effort...so don't let your mind say other wise.

Now, as for the irregularities....la t's say, for example.


Blowing yourself!! ... You blow yourslef
Hitting other hard ... Hitting others Hard
One head here ... Heads crushed

Whole part lost ... Body parts lost
Making eyes weep ... making eyes wet
Making souls scream... And their souls scream
Leaving minds depressed... Leaving minds in depression
Hearts with unrest... And hearts with unrest
Snatching peace from other... snatching peace from them
Making them yell... Making them yell
Is that the way to heaven... Is this the way to heaven
Or the way straight to hell... Or a way straight to hell.



You see, these are just minor grammatical ammends, ones which could bring more attraction and appeal...

N e Ways, it's up to you to consider...i just gave my thought.

Adios.
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  #5  
Old 08-11-2007, 09:15 AM
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Default Re: To A Suicide Bomber!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aas View Post

You see, these are just minor grammatical ammends, ones which could bring more attraction and appeal...

N e Ways, it's up to you to consider...i just gave my thought.

Adios.
okk thanks alot 4 showing concern...i 'll consider them and hope to make my poem more better...
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  #6  
Old 08-11-2007, 01:57 PM
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Default Re: To A Suicide Bomber!

Salam Noori:
First of all welcome back....I have read few poems of yours in the EPC and I think they are pretty well.....as guru Aas has already pointed out the structural deficiencies , so I won't point out anything ....I just want to say that you pen-down your thoughts on a very sensitive topic.....infact, I liked the title of your poem very much "To a suicide bomber"....indeed we are all in the same chaos that has been created by the suicidal attacks in our country, but few people dare to express their visions, I congratulate you that you are one of the few!!!
Is that the way to heaven
Or the way straight to hell

well I would like to say it all depends on the secanario and situation but the way it's going in our country ...no doubt it's really painful, it's unjust.....they don't get anything except they put to death our innocent countrymen....killin g innocent people (not the military men) whether they are muslim or non-muslim is unfair, just unfair in any case...
All in all impressive thoughts .....keep sharing your visions with us, hope to see some more ....
Cheers..
Junki

Last edited by junkifunki; 08-11-2007 at 02:28 PM.
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  #7  
Old 08-11-2007, 05:07 PM
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Default Re: To A Suicide Bomber!

Quote:
Originally Posted by junkifunki View Post
Salam Noori:
First of all welcome back....I have read few poems of yours in the EPC and I think they are pretty well.....as guru Aas has already pointed out the structural deficiencies , so I won't point out anything ....I just want to say that you pen-down your thoughts on a very sensitive topic.....infact, I liked the title of your poem very much "To a suicide bomber"....indeed we are all in the same chaos that has been created by the suicidal attacks in our country, but few people dare to express their visions, I congratulate you that you are one of the few!!!
Is that the way to heaven
Or the way straight to hell

well I would like to say it all depends on the secanario and situation but the way it's going in our country ...no doubt it's really painful, it's unjust.....they don't get anything except they put to death our innocent countrymen....killin g innocent people (not the military men) whether they are muslim or non-muslim is unfair, just unfair in any case...
All in all impressive thoughts .....keep sharing your visions with us, hope to see some more ....
Cheers..
Junki
thx 4 reading...and appreciating. ya i have noted down the mistakes...soon ll b working on it inshallah....as far as ur views are concerned...we share the same feelings....killing innocent ppl just without their any fault...is totally unfair.bt we can only wish ,that things get bettr.
tc
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  #8  
Old 12-06-2007, 12:51 PM
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Default Re: To A Suicide Bomber!

thanx for nice shareing
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  #9  
Old 02-22-2008, 04:21 PM
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Default Re: To A Suicide Bomber!

thanks 4 appreciating
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