Urdu Poetry Forum

**simple n smart** · #1 03-27-2004, 04:09 AM

this life had torn me apart,
with darkness all around,i could see no light.
cruel people went off,breaking my heart!
but then,he withdrew the curtain and everything turned bright.

life seemed just like a sweet dream,
i took that hand,it felt so good!
the only one who cared,upon whom i could lean;
i would have stopped the time if i could.

i realized life didn't just have a dark side,
his smile,washed away all my grief;
no longer i felt the sorrow,nor did i want to hide!
he gave me the shift i needed,it was indeed a relief!

*all characters discussed above are purely imaginative!!!! 0:-)

sheri_sweetie · #2 03-27-2004, 05:10 PM

very well written what inspired me most is that rhythm came naturally without any labourious artistry and thus it seems to be natural and not fabricated or manipulated.
he gave me the shift i needed,it was indeed a relief!
do u want to say He or do u mean by he some invisible character?

**simple n smart** · #3 03-27-2004, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheri_sweetie

very well written what inspired me most is that rhythm came naturally without any labourious artistry and thus it seems to be natural and not fabricated or manipulated.
he gave me the shift i needed,it was indeed a relief!
do u want to say He or do u mean by he some invisible character?

first of all......thanQ for ur appraising words......n 4 ur time........
/blush6 n secondly its an invisible character,....

**shama raza** · #4 03-28-2004, 09:07 PM

wow very nice poem , very well written , good

/weldone

keep writing and always live happy

cute fairy /rose

**WordArtist** · #5 03-29-2004, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by simple n smart

this life had torn me apart,
with darkness all around,i could see no light.
cruel people went off,breaking my heart!
but then,he withdrew the curtain and everything turned bright.

life seemed just like a sweet dream,
i took that hand,it felt so good!
the only one who cared,upon whom i could lean;
i would have stopped the time if i could.

i realized life didn't just have a dark side,
his smile,washed away all my grief;
no longer i felt the sorrow,nor did i want to hide!
he gave me the shift i needed,it was indeed a relief!

*all characters discussed above are purely imaginative!!!! 0:-)

Beautiful, it is --- Very Good!

Imaginative characters, hmmm! Anyway, I dedicate this poem to YOU! b-)

Keep it up! (y)

Take care and have a nice time! @};-

-Word Artist-

#6 03-29-2004, 10:41 AM

hi simple n smart . well ur to is very simple n smart . looks real natural with natural thoughts........ beautfifull bro' keep writing........three cheeers to u!!

anokha_ajnabi · #7 04-02-2004, 04:56 AM

hello simple_n_smart...you r poem is lovely...you seem like an interesting girl...keep up the marvelous poetry! /weldone... /flower1

#8 04-02-2004, 01:52 PM

very good

love the way u turned the ending to be pleasent

**simple n smart** · #9 04-04-2004, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WordArtist

Beautiful, it is --- Very Good!

Imaginative characters, hmmm! Anyway, I dedicate this poem to YOU! b-)

Keep it up! (y)

Take care and have a nice time! @};-

-Word Artist-

thanx wordartist.......i dunno wat to say.........i mean it was just a li'l romantic poem /grinsmile lol
but
thanQ lol
i wasn't expectin THAT!

**simple n smart** · #10 04-04-2004, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shafaqt

hi simple n smart . well ur to is very simple n smart . looks real natural with natural thoughts........ beautfifull bro' keep writing........three cheeers to u!!

thanQ bro
n i'm not a GUY!!!its not'bro'its 'sis'

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