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This is a discussion on ___ Vote for the P@ET @F AUGUST ___ within the English Poet's Club forums, part of the English Poetry category; Salaams: I'll cut it short.......too short actually... Contestant # 1 : JunkiFunki Shackles are singing on our feet Shackles are ...
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#1
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| Salaams: I'll cut it short.......too short actually... Contestant # 1 : JunkiFunki Shackles are singing on our feet Shackles are singing on our feet Shackles are singing on our feet My poverty-trodden countrymen Don’t give-up and never retreat Our lips are sewed and hands are cuffed This time upon us is really tough Ah! We are ruled by a group of tyrant men But their days are counted! Two, three, or ten They use to nourish racist hounds Who give us nothing but just wounds Recall the past when we were one And for the sake of power what they have done (1971) So don’t split into races and castes If your country exists, your name will last Whether you are a leftist or a rightist A poet, a lawyer, or a scientist A student, a farmer, or a philosopher A factory worker or a scholar Just give them a message that you are one And without your will nothing can be done Just strike your feet on the ground Your shackles should produce a rhythmic sound Then song of shackles will be sung Corrupts and tyrants will be hung Our patience will win and our souls will dance We won’t give the cowards a single chance A lonely poet is weaving dreams As he can listen to his nation’s screams He hopes that nation’s fate will shine (InshAllah) No doubt that this country is divine Shackles are singing on our feet Shackles are singing on our feet My poverty-trodden countrymen Don’t give-up and never retreat Contestant # 2 : Aas This Heart Wants More It's a day to rekon I have no feeling A day to thank And i have no meaning I feel heavy Like fallen off a ceiling But i can't unburden I am not healing It's the eve, of that auspecious day And i just can't lift myself comes what may You can see i am walking Walking slow on my own Walking these half lit streets Walking this way, all alone But you can't see my inside There lies a pain unknown A pain increasing and growing I can't complain and moan You are the world, how can you see How can you know, whats wrong with me You don't care, and so am I Who cares if some one lives or die The ashes run down the slope Ashes of those, who dared to try To fight what came against our nation But soon they found, it's all a lie A lie so deceptive You can't even cry A lie that lives within me It's like that pain, stingin' me And then i joined a crowd Like walking into a colourful cloud They stretched all over the terrain Hands in hands like a choo choo train But that train was silent and still Something in the air not there to fill And as i stood among you all I felt so numb, i felt so small I felt as if i am loosing my mind The lights getting darker making me blind When I saw a craker flying high And lit the dark gloomy sky The world around me gave out a roar And all cried out loud, "this heart wants more" "My heart wants more" "This heart wants more" Those unknown faces reflected as one They were as radiant as the sun With hands in hands, rhyme with rhyme The choo choo train whistled, it's time And soon every one was in his groove The choo choo train began to move The train which had no distinction of race No hint of the rich or any poor's trace They danced and embraced their presence And sang the songs of their INDEPENDENCE If it's a dream i don't wanna wake I don't wanna know if it's real or fake My heart felt more alive than ever When i whispered "Pakistan'll live forever" I felt so light, i felt so glad The pain in me started to fade For once i thought i am again Going to dance like an insane But what the hell, who cares any more This is my moment and 'My heart Wants more' Please, only a single vote is allowed per member. Have a nice time.
__________________ A heart in pain longs for rain a heart asks for no shrine No heavens divine but for a heart that's mine Last edited by Aas; 08-19-2007 at 09:11 PM. |
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#2
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| mINE goes for Junki.... as he's written a very smooth and gentle poem....reflection of his emotions...and love for his country men... Thumbs up Junki. |
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#3
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| I never knew that contestants can vote as well, so, indeed my vote goes for Aas as upto me he wrote very well!... Last edited by junkifunki; 08-20-2007 at 10:12 PM. |
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#4
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| chalo me ka deciding vote ho jaye ga ab ![]() i'll go for Aas , junike's sharing is also great , but i feel at couple of places rhyming wasn't there. but i'll have to admit it was bang bang close ) |
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#5
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| w/salaam Aas. tough as usual...dont think i need 2 say that. mr. JF it is. reason? i liked the concept. shackles...kinda portrays imprisonment yet there's this spirit of freedom. as for urz Aas...it was more of a flow of feelings...equally valuable yet that *spark's* missing... -chalakie |
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#6
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| Voted to Aas ...... Junkie Funkie good work better luck next time
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#7
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| both poems are written magnificently..its hard to decide, but i'll go with poem number 2...last two stanzas have just touched my heart..
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#8
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